I Love You Actually Means Goodbye

644 Words2 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Nature of emotions

It was warm, it was so warm, and that’s all he could register. Numbers had been dialed, people talked to, and now there was only a five minute wait. Good, because the warmth was supposed to mean something bad, even if he didn’t know how bad it really was. Oh right, blood was warm, wasn’t it? Ivan moaned in pain. Reality (such a bothersome thing) started in the base of his throat, -which had long since been out of use, (choked up with mucus)- and spread down his spine, curling at the base of it. A sense of dread. The feeling finally made it to his brain, which unclogged his throat to whisper, “Shhh-sh-sh-shhh Ih-Ivan, you’ll, you’ll be f-fine. Just hold on...a little l-longer. I called, for help...” It became nonsensical ramblings as he clutched the other closer closer, still holding his tattered shirt to the wound to stop the bleeding. Amethyst eyes glittered with tears turned to him, I love you, they said. Except he wouldn’t let Ivan say that until they were laughing together in the hospital form a close call. Ivan wasn’t aloud to say he loved him, because that could also mean goodbye. “No. NO! No no no no. Stay! Stay with me, you’re fine. Tell me you’re fine. It’s been three minutes, just-just two more minutes come on!” Ludwig whispered frantically. He didn’t cry, that wasn’t, just wasn’t a Ludwig thing. Ivan was smiling, good, smiling was...It was another goodbye, wasn’t it? “It’s...okay...Lud...I love-l-love y-you.” Blue eyes filled with mirth. Something like disgust plastered it’s self on Ludwig’s face, but it was laced with dread, and loathing of death. He managed a dry chuckle as the tears made tracks down his face, they followed the sharp line of his jaw and settled onto Ivan’s -bloody oh go... ... middle of paper ... ..., Ludwig’s everything would go with him. Now, how was he supposed to say all that without stuttering? “Oh-oh god!” He choked, grabbing Ivan to look into his eyes. “D-don’t you understand, I’ll-I’ll die w-without you. Please. You can’t just...go!” Ivan’s hand was still warm on his face, oh so warm. “It’s not...w-worth it...Ludwig. There are things...you can do...without me. W-we all leave darling, but I’ll always be,” A Hand was placed on the bak of his neck, and it pulled him closer. bringing their lips together, Ivan whispered against them, while placing a hand over his heart. “Here. I’ll be...here...see?” No, you’ll be six feet under and miles from me. He thought darkly, but refused to let it show on his face. Smiling one last time, Ivan loosed the grip on Ludwig’s hand, and closed his eyes. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

Show More
Related

  • Tolstoy's The Death Of Ivan Ilych

    677 Words  | 2 Pages

    The short story “The Death of Ivan Ilych” is about a man who realizes he is dying and that no one in his life cares about him. Even more disappointing for Ivan is the realization that besides his success as a high court judge, he has done nothing else to make his life worth saving. The death of Ivan Ilyich, sadly, comes as a release of stress to all. In the end, Ivan is soothed by the release of death, his family and friends are relieved of having responsibility of Ivan taken off their shoulders, and the reader is released from the stressful journey. Tolstoy teaches the audience through the structural elements of the “black sack” metaphor and pathos about the unavoidability of death and the relief of accepting it.

    Read More

  • The Aftermath of the Holocaust in Art Spiegelman’s Maus Volumes I and II

    1130 Words  | 3 Pages

    Vladek’s controlling ways leads him to invent a life that he never had. Vladek wields his reality by reinventing his past life. When Vladek tells Art about his marriage to Anja, he portrays his marriage like a fairy tale. Vladek says, “We were both very happy, and lived happy, happy ever after” (Spiegelman 2:136). He reinvents his past life after the end of the Holocaust as free of woe. Correspondingly, he loses himself...

    Read More

  • Lord Of The Flies

    1488 Words  | 3 Pages

    “Then Jack found the throat and the hot blood spouted over his hands…then Jack grabbed Maurice and rubbed the stuff over his cheeks.”

    Read More

  • Irony In The Death Of Ivan Ilyich

    608 Words  | 2 Pages

    Ivan has a strong disconnect with his family and begins feel like he is always suffering, while beginning to question if his life has been a lie. An example of this for prompt number three is when we are giving the quote "Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible." Leo Tolstoy implies through the quote that even though he lives an ordinary

    Read More

  • Analysis of Death of Ivan Ilych

    1772 Words  | 4 Pages

    In his last moments of life, Ivan sees light instead of death. His final audible words are “What joy!” despite the pain he feels. This epiphany that he has happens in a single moment and in a sense makes him finally come alive. Thus, right before his final breath Ivan is able to say to himself “Death is finished, it is no more!” Death no longer has a hold on him because the quest of perfection no longer does. Ivan has finally decided, after a lifetime of denying it, to “let the pain be.”

    Read More

  • Change In Elie Wiesel's Night

    432 Words  | 1 Pages

    Afterward, when they were rescued, he didn’t even care about anything anymore. His father had died, and now the only thing he could think of was getting more rations of food. “That’s all we thought about. No thought of revenge, or of parents. Only of bread.” 115 He could’ve just died and been fine with it. The holocaust had made him not care about life anymore. He didn’t want to live, especially after his father died. “Since my father’s death, nothing mattered to me anymore.”

    Read More

  • Life in The Death of Ivan Ilyich

    1135 Words  | 3 Pages

    Ivan's wife is also self-centered and exhibits great disdain for her husband, who she considers more of a nuisance and hassle than anything else.  Ivan's last days are spent in terrible physical agony, as he uncontrollably screams and moans in pain.  When Ivan's friends come to pay their respects to his widow, we see in her comments to them that she never reall...

    Read More

  • James Joyce's Dubliners

    1410 Words  | 3 Pages

    ...opped, choking with sobs, and, overcome by emotion, flung herself face downward on the bed, sobbing in the quilt” (223). The emotion of him were shown throughout the “Dead” and brought the individuals in society closer together through the dark times.

    Read More

  • The Death of Ivan Ilyich

    1577 Words  | 4 Pages

    Tolstoy establishes his satire instantly after the death of Ivan through the cruel and selfish reactions of his friends. The death of a friend would normally conjure feelings of grief and compassion, yet for Ivan’s close associates, thoughts of their futures drowned out any thoughts of death. “So on receiving the news of Ivan Ilych's death the first thought of each of the gentlemen in ...

    Read More

  • Analysis Of The Death Of Ivan Ilych

    813 Words  | 2 Pages

    Ivan wants “to live and not to suffer,” and the inner voice asks, “To live? How?” with the reply to “live as I used to – well and pleasantly.” Ivan’s problem now arises with the idea that maybe his life wasn’t so “pleasant” after all. Quickly understanding that living a life of simplicity and mediocracy is a worthless life, Ivan is forced to battle the internal thought of, where did I possibly go wrong? Possibly this life he was raised to believe as proper was just “a terrible and huge deception which had hidden both life and death.” This conviction of sin remains with Ivan up until the point where he is being forced into a black sack struggling “to get right into

    Read More

  • The Homeless Man

    1225 Words  | 3 Pages

    With both hands resting lightly on the table to each side of his white foam cup, Otis stared into its deep abyss of emptiness with his head bowed as if willing it to fill again, giving him a reason to enjoy the shelter that the indoors provided. I could almost touch the conflict going on inside of him, a battle of wills as if he was negotiating with an imaginary devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. I sensed a cramp of discomfort seizing his insides, compelling him to flee, then a silent resolve, as if a moment of clarity had graced his consciousness.

    Read More

  • Ivan Ilyich's Death

    533 Words  | 2 Pages

    Death is the most important and abrupt stop in life. With no other option, man is forced to reflect back on a life that has no chance of future redemption. Of course, the concept of death features prominently in both The Death of Ivan Ilyich, by Leo Tolstoy, and Death in Venice, by Thomas Mann. The drab Ivan Ilyich, hailing from The Death of Ivan Ilyich, only realizes the faults in his life when backed against the inevitable wall of death. In the critical view of Tolstoy, “Ivan Ilyich’s life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible” (818). Ivan always followed the Apollonian lifestyle, only acting in proper ways based on the structure of society. As such, the greater portion of his existence was incredibly dull and unexceptional. However, in attempting to live this way, Ivan suffers a fall that leads to his subsequent illness and bitter end. This locks Ivan in a state of self-reflection and depression. Unable to leave the prison of his own illness, this becomes his only option. In this torture, Ivan finds comfort in the presence of the youthful Gerasim. In fact, Ivan feels Gerasim’s presence “such a comfort that he did not want to let him go” (Tolstoy 838).

    Read More

  • Critical Analysis Of Leo Tolstoy's 'Death Of Ivan Ilyich'

    1704 Words  | 4 Pages

    Ivan’s mental suffering began the moment when his doctors refused to address his concern over his health. “It was all as he expected; it was all as it is always done.” (pg 23) To Ivan, going to doctors is just like his job in the court. It is like a system of order with no deviation and the problem lies within this system. Law and court is obviously in a system that requires great order and conformity, but medicine is in the exact opposite. The resemblance between the relationship of Ivan and his doctors and the relationship of himself and criminals in the court suggests to us that his doctors failed their jobs in treating the patient

    Read More

  • Meursault's View Of Death

    806 Words  | 2 Pages

    In the beginning of the story, he does not seem to give much thought about it. This is proven at his mother’s funeral. During the event, he focused on his physical condition rather his emotions on his mother. It is understandable to think about the heat due to the fact it was so how; however, it was odd to not have a response or thought about his mother. Keep in mind that this is in first person.

    Read More

  • God Sees the Truth But Waits

    1432 Words  | 3 Pages

    In brief, the story is a third-person omniscient narrative whose plot revolves around the life of the young merchant Ivan Dmitrich Aksionov who resided, at one point, in the town of Vladimir, Russia. The story introduction begins with a brief description of Ivan. He is a man who has married, given up drinking, and seems to be directing his life down a very positive road. However, one summer day, his wife warned him not to go to a local fair, claiming that she had a dream in which he returned home with grey hair. At the story’s rising action, Ivan failed to heed her warning, and ended up in a situation where he was falsely accused of murder, flogged, and forced to spend twenty-six years in Siberia; if that wasn’t bad enough, his wife had surrendered all faith in him and he lost contact with his family. Broken and disheartened, Ivan made what he could out of his time in Siberia; he befriended the inmates and helped out wheneve...

    Read More

More about I Love You Actually Means Goodbye

Open Document