Husbands In A Thousand Splendid Suns By Khaled Hosseini

‘Happy wife, happy life’, this is a very common saying in marriage but one does not usually hear one for a husband. It is great for a wife to be happy, but it is great for a husband too. In taking care of a household and a family, it is more common to hear that the wife does more than the husband. For instance, the wife cleans, cooks, watches the children, does laundry, etc. Not many men are known to do that, especially in a very traditional home. Husbands are commonly known to be the breadwinners of the family and to be the most masculine in the household. It is their job to be the head of the household and to take care of the family. In the novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, he writes about a very traditional man, Rasheed,

who marries a woman and plays the role of a traditional husband. Not just any traditional husband, but a great traditional husband to his wife. Besides being a great husband Rasheed also played the role of a great father to his children on teaching his son what a man should act like and the man his daughter should want to marry. Rasheed is an empathetic and caring husband and father, provider and protector of his family and their honor.
Several times before a woman agrees to marry a man, it is because she believes that the man has the potential of being a great husband. A woman makes this decision based on the qualities the man has and shows. The man protects her when needed, he shows her that he is capable of taking care of her financially by trying to buy her nice things and proving that he has a good paying and stable job. Some men even make the effort to get to know their family. In doing so, the man is portraying that he cares. Most men show how much they care through their actions. A big reason for this is because it is the way the man was brought up. Although, Rasheed marrying his wife, Miriam, was arranged does not mean that he cannot have the qualities of a good husband. Her parents would not have thought of him as a potential candidate for their daughter if they did not think that he could take care of her. Miriam’s parents knew that he was financially stable to care for her and knew Rasheed was a good decision. With him being older than she is, shows that he is mature and not only that, he was also a father before his son passed away. Rasheed being older than her proves that he has more experience in life, being an adult, and parent that way he can lead her in the right direction to being a good wife, mother, and adult.
In afghanistan they are known to have arranged marriages for their children at a very young age.

Even though it is something that this society is not used to, in that society it is all they know. As for Rasheed, who is Pashtun and grew up only knowing their tradition and the ways of a Pashtun man, this arranged marriage did not come to him as a surprise or as something wrong. For instance, Pashtun means ‘man of honor’, which explains why Rasheed is the way that he is. Rasheed is masculine, about honor, independent, and other things that pertain to his culture. The Pashtun culture is mainly centered around honor and the importance of maintaining loyalty to friends, even allies. In the article PAKISTAN/AFGHANISTAN: The Pashtun Man, Abdul-Karim Khan states “A Pashtun’s womenfolk, property, and land are his inviolable assets - especially women” (Khan 2006), discusses that along with them caring so much about their honor, there are other things that are sacred to them. A Pashtun man spends his life defending his family’s honor and name, no matter the situation. Along with that the Pashtun culture believes heavily on the principle of revenge and holds the statement ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’ to a high standard. This is the way Rasheed was brought up and Miriam should be honored to be apart of such a great culture because she will be honored and

protected.
Rasheed displayed qualities of an honorable husband when he was married to Miriam in many different ways. At first Miriam did not know what she was going to expect and what her new life was going to be like with Rasheed. He treated her well but in ways only he knew. Rasheed’s wife was not Pashtun nor was she used to living in a house and city the way she did with Rasheed. Therefore the things he did were somewhat foreign to her because she was not used to it. Rasheed had her dressed in a burqa because he believed that “where [he] comes from, a woman’s face is her husband’s business only” (Hosseini 70). She was only for him and that is how it should be. Rasheed was not only protecting his pride but hers as well. There is no need for his wife to be showing more than she needs. Miriam vowed to be with him and only for him. His wife has no say in what she wants to wear because she married into his culture and that is what his culture is known to have their women wear. If anything his wife showed be grateful that he is protecting her pride. Which at times she was, Miriam eventually was used to having to dress like that, that she did not mind that he made her dress like that, “...she was even flattered….her namoos, was something worth guarding to him.She felt prized by his protectiveness” (Hosseini 81). Miriam began to understand and adapt to the culture. Rasheed also had another wife, Laila, but before marrying her, he took her in because if he did not do so she would have become a beggar on the street. Rasheed made sure Laila was fed, clothed, had a bed to sleep on, all typical traits of an honorable husband. Therefore when Rasheed had asked Laila to marry him, there was no question that she was going to say yes. If Rasheed took care of Laila the way that he did before they were married, just imagine the way he would treat her when they did marry. From there Laila, also had to adapt to his style of things. The way that Laila acted, the way she dressed and just cultural things that she originally was not accustomed to do. The reason for this was that along with being very traditional, his culture also was heavy on religion. Due to this Rasheed believed that in the Quran it clearly states that “Verily we created the man in the best stature” (qtd. in Ghari 318). Rasheed believes that his wives do not need makeup or clothes that show off more than they need to because they are already the best that they can be.
Along with being a good husband, he was also an amazing father. Rasheed longed for another son and when he got his son, he was nothing but ecstatic. Rasheed was ready to give his son, Zalmai, anything and everything that he wanted. Although they could not necessarily afford to buy him new toys or a crib, Rasheed did not care because this was his son and he was going to do anything possible to give him the best and to have him happy. Rasheed was such a great father that Zalmai, idolized him so much that he wanted to be just like him. Everytime Zalmai was around Rasheed, he copied everything he did and acted just like him. However, the woman in his life believed that Zalmai was acting ignorant, Rasheed said it was a sign of intelligence. Rasheed loved this boy wholeheartedly. Even though, he had other children, Rasheed is responsible for teaching Zalmai how to be a Pashtun man, his daughter is to learn from his two wives. Rasheed did his best in showing his son what an honorable, Pashtun husband should be like.
Rasheed showed acts of an honorable husband and father through his actions and feelings for his family. He did what he needed to do as the head of the household by taking care of his family and giving them what they needed. Rasheed did his job, they were not on the street, they never were not fed or clothed, and had more than they needed. Just because Rasheed did not go above and beyond to get them things they did not need, does not mean that he was a terrible husband and father. If anything he was smart, he only spent on what was necessary and not buying them things that they did not need taught them to be grateful for what they had. There are so many wives in the world who would kill for a husband like Rasheed, because although what he did seemed like the bare minimum at times, his family was always taken care of. There are men out there in the world who could learn a few things from Rasheed on how to be the husband in a marriage women need.