Humorous Wedding Speech: Who's Over For Dinner?

Today is the day Marissa comes over for dinner. I am unsure what I am more excited about, the fact I get to watch Dan squirm anticipating he may be exposed at any time or the secret vengeance that will be carried out this evening. Either way, I can not wait for the look on his pathedic face when she walks through the door. Watch as a million thoughts rush through his head. Oh how sadistically sweet this is going to be. I am beginning to like the new me. I am going through the house tidying it up, and got all the food prepared for our special dinner. I am making Dan's favorite tonight, lasagna. As I head upstairs to get myself together for the evening, Dan comes home. I stop in front of the stair case and say to him, "well hello, how are we doing today?" Dan in his own charming way scoffed a bit and responded, "Really? You want to know how I am doing?" "Dan, come on, you are home and tonight we are having a guest over. I am putting together your favorite meal to thank you for allowing me to have this little gathering ," I responded. "Yeah,

I sent Marissa a quick text to make sure she is still up for this. She quickly sent a text back saying, "Of course. Time to show Dan who is really in charge." "Perfect," I replied. As the anxiety begins to build up with the time slowly approaching I start feeling a surge of energy rip through my body. Every emotion rushing through me at once, the anticipation of how I want these sequence of events to play out start running through my mind. As I stand there with a sinister grin there is a knock on the door, Marissa has arrived. Dan yells, "I am not answering that, you wanted this you go open the door." "No worries, Dan. I am answering the door now," I said to him. I walked over to the door, the adrenaline that is flowing through me causes my heart to pound so hard I thought it was going to burst right out of my chest. I take a deep breath and open the