Humorous Wedding Speech: The Phantom Of The Opera

Today, you forget about all of the unnecessary stressors in your life. Today, you say yes to the happy and say no to the sad. Today, you are not just the queen of Newtown or Bucks County or Pennsylvania; you are the queen of the world. Today, we all bow before your forest-green throne as you sit in your awe-inspiring beauty atop your kingdom. We bring you tomato, mozzarella, and olive oil. We bring you king crab and salmon, accompanied by the finest classical pianist in the land. We bring you The Phantom of the Opera, performed live before you and your invited guests. We bring you a bouquet of daisies, and we place them before your elegant gown. Ask, my queen, and you shall receive.

Sami, I wish you the happiest, most joyous of birthdays today.

Academic Anxiety – Bitch, please. You’re going to kill it. When those others sorry engineers see that you’re in the class, they will be like “oh shit, there’s Samantha ‘Curve Killer’ Bunke. Crap!” In seriousness, you know you are a dynamite chemist, an adept physicist, and a deft mathematician. You know you belong with the engineers, but not only do you belong, you will also excel. Your academic record is impeccable, and if you ever forget this, remember that you were one of six AP Chemistry students to be exempt from the final (making you at least the second best female chemist in the class, if not the first), remember how surprised Mr. Eastburn was to find out that you did not take AP Biology the previous year, remember how Mrs. Holsey declared that we have mastered the “cool nerd,” and remember how easily you waltzed through your AP Calculus class, a class through which, as you know, many students struggled (I will not list names). Be confident in the solid preparation North has afforded you. In fact, the family that hosted my graduation party (the Bannon family) sent its son to the University of Pittsburgh, and he remarked how insanely prepared he was for the academic workload. Granted, I do not know if he was an engineer, but Council Rock North provided you with a great education, and you are ready for