Humorous Wedding Speech: Lucius Jones

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Good Morning, Sir Lucius Jones was a cruddy and cantankerous bigoted racist. Anyone who didn’t agree with his ideas could “go straight to hell," and anyone who wasn’t from the same race as him, could “burn in hell”. There was a decided difference between the two damnations and Lucius would be more than obliged to explain it to anyone who thought otherwise, if only anyone had the backbone to ask him. He was a crusty, willowy scarecrow looking old man with long gangly limbs, a thin, narrow frame and an even thinner face with a hollowed out right eye socket. The empty hole could hold a glass eye, but Lucius chose not to use one and he refused to wear an eye patch. He knew it made people uncomfortable and he liked that. His dingy colored hair,

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