Humorous Wedding Speech

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*yawns* Good Morning Franklin! *gets out of bed and gets ready* Day 112 in this tower… I wish that one day I’ll be set free. I’ve told mother upteen times that being locked in a tower is not the way to get me married. I just am not interested in a relationship right now. I didn’t know that once you turn 21 you HAVE TO have a hubby! I still want to explore the world and see all it has to offer. *skakes head* Mother doesn’t understand.. I mean how would she feel if on her 21st birthday her mom came to her asking has she fallen in love yet knowing that she has never even dated anyone! And if she hasn’t noticed… I’m not exactly what a prince wants. Other princesses wear beautiful gowns and I’m wearing this old thing! Other princesses have been …show more content…

I pricked myself on a spinning wheel, but it got infected and I had to get a tetanus shot. I threw my hair out of a tower and a prince started to climb it, but I had a really cheap weave put in and…well…it fell out and so did he. I thought about dressing up as a mermaid, but all the Kingdom Costume Shop had left, was a chicken outfit, and I gave up after a prince laughingly asked me “Why did I cross the road?” I don’t know what I’m going to do; dwarves creep me out; I’m allergic to seafood; all the fairies are mad at me because I wouldn’t clap for Tinkerbell…don’t ask but she started it; and quite frankly…poisonous apples just give me gas. The only reason I even did these things was to prove to my mom that I can be princess material.. but clearly I can’t. I have got to be the worst princess …show more content…

Per your request, I wished upon a star. Apparently, it does make a difference who I are! For I wished and prayed yet here I still am, alone and afraid. Do I have to be some poor nobody wannabe? Do I need some kind of kryptonite like a little pea? Did my prince just get turned into a frog and he's now tweeting about it on his blog? Or is he just waiting for me to find him possibly at the barber shop, getting a trim? Oh what's the use of dreaming anymore. My prince would probably rather go to war. I need to be some kind of damsel in distress to get some attention I guess. I’ve tried to find my Prince Charming. Is there something about me that's alarming? All I’ve ever had was Prince Pampered who spends his whole life hampered by being royally stuck up. Then there was Prince Never Grow Up who is way too pretty in his curls. Every last one of these boys make me want to hurl. Why can't I find a man sized prince who will sweep me off my feet and take me to faraway lands. He will hold me with his strong hands and devote his life to me. *looks up and looks puzzled* Is that what I want? Is that what I dream about? Do I actually want a prince?

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