Humorous Wedding Roast for a Sports Player

567 Words2 Pages

Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sports Player

Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Martin and I'm here to say a few words about Bradley. But first of all, Bradley thanks for agreeing to be my groom today. And thank you, Marta, for allowing Bradley to agree.

It's traditional for the best man to let the bride's parents know what sort of man has married their daughter - although, it's really too late now to do anything about it. Bradley and I have been friends all our lives, so you can trust me to be completely honest, and let you have it straight!

First, you probably know that Bradley was born in 1975, which happens to be the same year the disposable lighter was invented - an invention that in his teenage years Bradley would find indispensable. But aside from that one small indiscretion, which was brought under control before there was any loss of life - and which he was never actually charged with, Bradley has lived an exemplary, if not a boring life.

It wasn't until he joined my football club that he got into any real trouble. Before Bradley arrived we were so starved of success we did a lap of honour every time we got a corner. Although our fortune didn't change, Bradley immediately brought a new dimension to the team. But unfortunately, while he would consider his defensive play competitive, the referees would often interpret his face-high tackling as violent and dangerous.

Away from the football field, I've only known Bradley to lash out once. It was a swift left hook dealt to a local thug who, having no idea that Bradley was left handed, approached him as he sat in the passenger seat of a friend's car and made a couple of disparaging remarks. Bradley beckons him over, winds down the window and wham - knocks the guy out cold. So here's a bit of a safety tip for you Marta: if you're ever out in Richmond and it looks like there's going to be trouble, stay on his right side!

Now, as I understand it, Bradley actually proposed to Marta overseas, whilst they were skiing earlier this year. The holiday spanned Valentines Day and Bradley suddenly realized that after six years of being with Marta, he could combine the romantic day, the beautiful mountainside location and the rather favorable exchange rate - and finally propose.

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