Howard Avenue Monologue

It’s quite unfortunate that I get into the situations that I do. We went and visited the man on Howard Avenue today to collect the $10 dollars, and Lorraine doesn’t even want to cash the check! He will surely know that the L & J fund isn’t real if we just dispose of it. He invited us to the zoo tomorrow, and I suppose we will have to have to go, as some form of forgiveness for stealing money from old people. We didn’t really steal it though. He gave it to us. Then again, I suppose fraud is considered a sin anyway, so that leads me back to the zoo thing. Lorraine hates zoos, but they don’t even mean enough to me to even bother hating them. It’s just something that’s always been there, and I’ve never really given them much thought before. Kind

of like lamps. Why would you even bother to hate a lamp? Even if you knock over the lamp and it breaks your toe, it’s still an irrelevant enough thing in your life that you cannot be bothered to hate it. Either way, I still have to go tomorrow, and I hope that we’re not there too long. I also hope the man on Howard Avenue, Mr. Pignati, isn’t some kind of mass murderer or anything like that. He claims that his wife is visiting his sister in California, and that seems just a bit sketchy to me. Then again, perhaps I just have a hard time trusting people who eat snails.