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The effect of divorce on children
Th effect of divorce on children
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Since my parents’ divorce, I grew up in a separated home with just my mother and my two younger siblings. Being the oldest of three and having a single mother, I matured extremely quickly and psychologically. Growing up, I was always the one who took initiative around the house to help my mother after a long day of work. As a single parent, she has taught me that the most valuable attributes in life are the intangible. She always wishes she could give us more, but for me, being together as a family is more than money could ever buy. After my parents' divorce, my sister and I would visit our father every other weekend. It plays a significant role in my life because even though my parents aren’t physically together, they are both united when …show more content…
Within the year 2011, I lost three very important family members to cancer and suicide. These tragedies, just months apart, obliterated me. It destroyed my joy, my love for everything, and it turned into despair within God. I questioned him daily, “Why? Why them, and why me?”. I couldn’t understand that if He loved everyone so much, why was their pain and death? It was during this time where my mother felt the need to attend Church much more for the condolences of our family and the spiritual guidance of our hearts. Attending church wasn’t easy, but it was very enlightening on our sad souls. In the events of these deaths, I have learned to accept what is and move on for greater of myself and those around me. Small towns in Texas are notorious for their abundant population in churches. Being surrounded by people who are genuinely interested in my walk with Christ has helped my faith. I have become a better and well represented young woman due to the support from my hometown. My journey with God has molded me to be more Christ-like in everything I do, whether it's sports, academics, or even jobs, and my community has been there to serve as a physical reminder of a spiritual and emotional support system. I work as I would for the Lord. Because prayer is the basic foundation for my walk with
Families are becoming more diverse and they come in all shapes and sizes. Some people consider families to be strictly biological, while others consider people they love to be their family. Although two-parent families, also known as a nuclear family are the majority, one-parent families are becoming more common in today’s society. A sole-parent is considered to be a parent without a partner or spouse who is the primary care giver of one or more children in a household (Ministry of Social Development, 2010). From the age of 14 onward I was raised by m...
As I continued to chat with my pastor that day, I really sensed the hurt in his eyes – the anger that comes from an unsolvable injustice, the tiredness of a problem. “What’s wrong?” I finally asked, “Having a bad day?” Sensing that I was truly concerned, he let the truth be told. “I talked with a woman today whose baby died suddenly of unknown causes. As we worked through her grief, she talked about how numerous friends and family, even a religious leader had patted her on the back, shook their heads and said, ‘It was God’s will.’ I find few things worse to say to a grieving parent. Saying nothing at all would be of more help.” It was obvious from our conversation that he had an understanding greater than I about God’s will, and his insight created in me a curiosity and desire to learn more.
My Idea of family honestly didn't begin until I agreed to marriage and children. Until that moment, in my laxity, I hadn't even considered the many aspects and values a family should consist of. My experience needless to say, laid in shattered pieces long before I took over the reins of raising myself and built a blockade fortress of stoicism. In all seriousness, I often considered never having a relationship, thinking I was incapable of possessing the experience it would take to pursue such an endeavor. Needless to say, I didn't say 'yes' the first time. In spite of this, I did marry; yet my idea of family was built without preconceived ideologies. I've done what I felt was nurturing and beneficial for my children both environmentally and educationally. All in all, my family is successful though we are a work in progress. I'm often overly diligent in their wellbeing out of my heightened need for them what I never had; the experience of a wonderful family that sets the basis for a successful life when life beyond the days of a dreamy child are a hardship all their own. Family relationships, be it any form, is as always a work in progress, yet, with the fiction work of Cathedral by Raymond Carver and with Langston Hughes' poem Mother To Son, we see those with steadfast nerves and unwavering determination can succeed in this precious and challenging undertaking.
Last time I remember my family being bright and happy as a whole was probably seven years ago. My family members were my perseverance, my strength, and most importantly my friends who always supported me. When I fell down, it was their hands and smiles that gave me strength to get back on my feet, when I felt like giving up, it was their arms that opened widely to embrace and receive me. As joyful as we can be, I thought my family, was the most beautiful and most pure thing that lived in my life. Lived, sad truth that can’t be forgotten even through numerous of years of facing the same old reality of what happened; where was the breakdown? I wondered. I knew it was useless to attempt to cover up the wound that was deeply implanted in me but in hopes of making the memories of this disaster disappear, I , a young child, was allowed time to cover up those memories as best I could. I often told myself, “at least I have a family… I shouldn’t be sad” and thought of those who were adopted and how they felt. However, the scar deepened by seconds and the spaces to fill were rapidly widening. If I had to be hurt, I would just endure the pain even if I wanted to lean on someone; I kept it all to myself and believed in patience. The impact on which family separation have had on children has been a major problem throughout the world for centuries. Yet, parents fail to acknowledge the effect of how their own irresponsibility can sway their children’s educations, their future, and their body image as their children struggle to continue their life assuming they were abandoned.
Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.
Parental divorce can be a transforming experience. Who can imagine having two wonderful, happy, productive parents and awaken the ne...
With this ring I thee wed…. For better or worse, for richer or poorer…. Traditionally, two people speak these words on their wedding day, the day that two become one, the day that two people begin a life together and share an unbreakable union. This may be so in some cases but not all. Divorce among Americans is rampant. In society today divorces are as common as marriages themselves. Couples meet, date, fall in love, marry, and have children and then one day: Wham! Something is just not right with the relationship anymore, so they opt for the easy way out, the big "D". They get a divorce, is this really the easy way? The legalities and dissolution of the union may be easy and painless, but what about the emotions that are still in tact? Although a divorce may be hard on the adults involved, what about the children? What happens to the kids of these broken marriages?
Church was of utmost priorty until my parents separated when I was ten years old. My mother went from being a stay home mom to working full-time unfortunately attending church fell by the waitside. My best friend’s family, who were also my neighbors, ran a Christian church and she extended an invitation to my family. With the permission of my mother I commenced attending her church routintely and I absolutely loved it. The message that was delivered every time I attended was passionate, moving and provided me with a sense of fulfillment. Attending church help fill the void that was left when my parents separated. My mother has struggled with a mental illness for many years. After the separation from my father, she became angry and sometimes hostile. She eventually isolated herself and my siblings from all of our extended family. My mother’s mental illness made my childhood challenging but I grew to understand that she was battling some issues that were more than she could handle on her own. Regardless, I never questioned her love for me. Instead I prayed for her and I prayed for the strength to overcome any obstecles presented to my family and I. I am confident to say that between the trials and tribulations in my life lied a hidden purpose. I was built to endure and conquer obstacles that would mold me into the strong individual I am today. My experinces can allow me to use my strengths to help mend those that are broken. Becoming a
It was the last Saturday in December of 1997. My brother, sister, and I were chasing after each other throughout the house. As we were running, our parents told us to come and sit down in the living room. They had to tell us something. So, we all went down stairs wondering what was going on. Once we all got down stairs, the three of us got onto the couch. Then, my mom said, “ Well…”
The stories I am told now, as a young adult, reflect my life as a child, some ten years ago. My parents were divorced when I was six years old; my little sister only four. My father was remarried within a year, but my mother struggled with a job, night school, and the unmastered task of ensuring the happiness of her children. While my mother was making sacrifices left and right, my grandmother stepped in to give her a hand. I think this took a tremendous amount of pressure off mom, because she didn't have to hire a baby-sitter. After school we would just take the bus to grandma's house.
Divorce is one of those things that are mainly mentioned by people who haven't gone through the experience. Those who have are the ones who don't ever want to talk about it. There is a promise that each individual of a marriage makes that basically y says that they will be faithful, caring, and will stay together until death do they part. Lately this promise has been broken more than half of the time. A divorce not only affects the husband and wife but also the children of the mairiage. There are even times that the result of a traumatic divorce causes children to have mental breakdowns and even severe stress related health problems. When a couple sits down and decide to get married they should realize that getting married is a large step in life and should not be taken lightly. They should anticipate disagreements and should realize that divorce is not the only way out. If two individuals cannot realize this then they have no business getting married in the first place. Some people get married just because they have had a child. This is where there are a lot of misunderstandings. Most think that you are obligated to marry if you have a child. A person does not have to be compatible wit the other to merely have sex with them therefore it should be assumed that the same goes with marriage. Anyone can have sex and not care about the other person because you don't have to live and die with every person you have sex with. You should on the other hand live and die with the person you marry. When a couple thinks they have no choice to to get married they should really think it over because it could be worse for the child to go through a bad divorce later don the road then for them to have parents that were never married in the first place. If I were to ever be responsible for a child out of wedlock I would definitely think it over before I ran in and got married right away. I have had a similar experience with a past girlfriend who said she was pregnant and said it was mine. When the truth
I married him because I loved him. I divorced him because I love myself more. Divorce is such an ugly thing. It’s pretty simple right? You get married because you love someone, you get divorced because don’t love them anymore. When you get married you pick out china and furniture. When you get divorced you fight over who gets the china and furniture.
Family ties have been a sour topic in my life since as long as I can remember. Through the years I have managed to cope with the reality of being on my own. Though it was not easy, I have been through more than most people my age. One of the hardest things I had to cope with was moving around as much as we did. I was born in Nurnberg, Germany while my father was in the military. When I was two, my parents divorced and I stayed with my father and lost all contact with my mother until I was 18. After they divorced, dad and I moved in and out of three states, and ended up in Wausau. Growing up with an abusive father, and without my mother, was very difficult to manage. To make matters worse, I attended 12 schools before high school, I had no friends. Homework was always a struggle for me, given that I attended 12 different schools. It seemed as if I was always behind or ahead of the class, because the last school was at a different pace or taught things differently. I have grown up without relying on family but relied on myself. Even today I have little or no contact with my family. My mother and all her relatives live in Oregon. I had the pleasure of reuniting with my mother in 1994. When we met again after 16 years I decided to live in Oregon with her. I stayed in Oregon for almost two years by then it was apparent that my mother and I lost the bond that a mother and child should always have. We were separated for so long, and I was at such a young age that I found it difficult to be close to her. I have since moved back to Wausau, and started a family of my own. On occasion I talk to my mother on the phone but this has never been a very fulfilling relationship either. Although unfulfilling, it has allowed for some progress in our relationship.
The night my husband proposed to me was full of family, good food and wine, but it was also one full of anxiety. His family was uncomfortable with me, and I with them. I don 't believe anyone truly wanted us to get married, and his mother was wrought with nerves. His brother and pregnant wife felt confused, and torn . Yet, we sat down, we smiled, we drank, we ate, and ignored the silent accusations permeating through the air.
Growing up, it was hard to find time to spend as a family. My mom worked two full time jobs in a span of twenty four hours. Her first job consisted of working in a lab where they made packaging solutions, then at night she worked as a bartender. My brother and I would see her for about three hours until we would have to settle in with another babysitter. I wasn’t really aware of what was going on until my brother and I were enrolled into school. Everyday we would walk to school it was hard to spark a conversation with him because he had a problem that no one knew about. And little did I know that I also needed help developing greater english skills, so my teacher decided that I come in an hour earlier each day to get the extra help. Around the time that I started attending these classes my brother moved onto middle school and I began to walk alone. It wasn’t a problem until one day someone started chasing me and lucky enough a cop stopped me to ask me about the situation.