Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics, observes that in our society the style of communication of men is seen as powerful and positive over the style communication of women. Tannen’s argument does not necessarily suggest a right or wrong way for men and women to communicate; rather, she tries to explain why our society has made men’s communication the most positive way to communicate. In the American culture, society has established a “right way” for men and women to communicate, but it has caused issues over the years. Directness or indirectness whether used by men or women in different cultures, come to the same conclusion, if the men communicate with indirectness or directness it’s considered to be the “right way.” Deborah Tannen, …show more content…
a Ph.D. linguistic professor and an author on gender communication/relationship, explores this topic in “His Politeness Is Her Powerless,” an excerpt from You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, stating that “Evidence from our cultures also makes it clear that indirectness does not in itself reflect low status.
Rather, our consumptions about the status of women compel us to interpret anything they do as reflecting low status.” Indirectness does not reflect low status in cultures but it is seen in that way when women use it as their form of communication. Tannen’s observation clearly shows women’s communication style is lower than men’s because societies have established that whatever form of communication styles men choose is automatically considered superior and positive. This only silences women who wish to be heard but are not only because of their way of expressing their thoughts. As much as women try to fight against the established “right way” to communicate; there will be no change because again their communication is deemed powerless compared to that of the men. Tannen affirms that the way women communicate is seen as ‘powerless’ in men’s view and often labeling women to be inferior than men describing that “..the …show more content…
labeling of ‘women’s language’ as ‘powerless language’ reflects the view of womenś behavior through the lens of men’s¨ The label communication as “women language” is seen weak, causing men to believe that they are superior to women in every aspect. There will be exceptions to this, because their are men who don’t believe this, however in our society the ,majority rules. This leads to women not being able to express their ideas without hearing the judgment of her male fellow worker or for her ideas to not be taken seriously at all. Our society’s “right way” of communicating has established that its the men’s style in communication is the right way no matter if the women uses it as well. The fact that society believes that men are “superior” and powerful compared to women reflects this in the established rule that men holds the “right way” to communicate. In our society pop culture has always been a reflection of how society’s views are on various issues.
In Grey’s Anatomy, an American TV show, Season 12: Episode 9 - “The Sound of Silence” Meredith Grey, the female character, voices that “In group settings, men are 75% more likely to speak up than women. And when a woman does speak up, it's statistically probable her male counterparts will either interrupt her or speak over her. It's not because they're rude, it's science. The female voice is scientifically proven to be more difficult for a male brain to register. What does this mean? It means, in this world, where men are bigger, stronger, faster, if you're not ready to fight, the silence will kill you.” Grey talks about men in group settings are likely to talk over women especially in the workforce. Showing that men are more likely to speak over women and forcing women to keep in silence. Even though it is scientifically proven that a female’s voice is hard for a male’s brain to process; society has accepted that it is normal for men men to interrupt or speak over women because of her way of communicating. It has been established that men are more “powerful” than women, this might be true biologically but should not reflect women’s communication style to be considered less than that of the men. As we discussed in class, I understood that students listen more to their male teachers because I have had both female and male teachers that communicated directly or indirectly.
However the pattern that shows is that when the female teacher uses either one to communicate directions is often ignored or considered rude in the student’s mind. This shows that our society’s rule of men having the right to communicate affects people a a young age. Causing women’s communication style to be seen a lower status compared to the mens’ Tannen illustrates that, based on her research, women’s communication style is regarded “powerless” and inferior to men’s communication style. Our society has traditionally set that any communication men uses is the right way and better. Even though men might have the upperhand of historically been with power, this should not be the factor to deem that their communication style is superior and for women to feel powerless because of the way they communicate.
Today, women and men are more socially equal then 1993 when Tannen had written this short essay. Through these twenty years women have accomplished many things in different areas that set them equal to the supposedly inferior, men. In my opinion there is no unmarked human being. You are marked by just saying you are male or that you are female. Men are marked just like women are just a little more discreet. I feel that men are noticeably marked in areas where they are the minority. In Tannen’s short essay she says “Some years ago I was at a small working conference of four women and eight men.” We can infer out of the group that the men were the majority and the women were the minority. Also that there was some bias in the information she shared. This is why I assumed Tannen moved towards the women in her observation because they were the minority. When people are the minorities they tend to be looked at differently and marked as so. For instance nursing and secretary jobs are held by more women than men. When you see a male nurse or a male secretary, he is marked. He is the one out of all the female nurses who is marked because he is the minority. It is vice versa for women as well. For example in politics and construction where men are dominating those work areas. You see a female governor or construction worker, you know that she is marked because she is the minority in this
Although society claims that we are in the age where there is gender equality, it is clear that women are still not of equal standing than men. In our society, women are of lower status than men. Such as in the workplace, a male employee’s project proposal is favored over a female employee’s proposal because a male superior believes that women cannot construct ideas as well as male employees. This is a result of how our culture has influence our view that women are less superior than men. Our male dominant culture taught us that women are not as capable as men are and that between the two genders, the man is the superior.
Tannen points out “a greater percentage of discussion time is taken by men’s voices.” (2) She tells us why this is a disadvantage to the women in the classroom. She then continued to separate the two genders into their given stereotypes. Girls tend to separate themselves from large groups; they talk amongst
Deborah Tannen’s, “Fighting For Our Lives,” explores the ideas and concepts behind human sociology. She delves into the sociolinguistic relationship between women and men in conversation. Tannen amplifies the importance between language and gender and how they affect interpersonal relationships. Tannen showcases her analytical thinking processes by using rhetorical strategies to support her claim on conflicted communication within the argument culture. Specifically, focusing on politics, the law, education, spousal relationships, the media and within work environments. She gives many examples to support her claim by using figurative language and literary devices such as metaphors and logic and reasoning to accurately convey her message.
The reason for this is because according to Tannen she states "...it is women who are direct and men who are indirect...Fro them, indirectness, like the men who use it, has high status". In the island, it is the opposite of the gender role norm since it is me that are the ones who are indirect but are still seen to be higher in status than women. The importance of this is to show how basically in any type of social environment, women will always be the ones to be seen less than males even when they do the same things as males would do.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
Steven Pinker distinguishes the difference between talking to man and women. Pinker showed a lady that was comfortable talking to another lady and the lady became angry when her talking to a man, not women (Pinker 2007 .p112, 113). People used intricacies method to achieve their needs and emotion instead of saying what they need to say directly. (Pinker 2007 .p113) Furthermore, even in a sexual situation, people twist and turn around and turn around their words. For example, “would you like to come up and see my etching?” (Pinker 2007.p113) Moreover, people use a kind word to order something from someone else without making a demand to the receiver or using indirect speeches to avoid a problem that may happen by mistake. (Pinker, 2007
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
Tannen, Deborah. “His Politeness Is Her Powerlessness.” You Just Don’t Understand: women and men in conversation. New York: HarperCollins, 1990. 203-5. Print.
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Krolokke, Charlotte; Sorensen, Anne Scott, "Three Waves of Feminism: From Suffragettes to Grrls". Gender Communication Theories and Analyses: From Silence to Performance. SAGE Publications, Inc; 2005 1-17. Print.
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
Besides, she highlights that indirection, deviousness, evasion are traditionally covers for femininity and also the meaning of disguising aggression against things they are and she suggest through these attitudes, a woman expresses discomposure about, and subtly subverts, the traditional lots, the classical and traditional powerlessness and the function and power of women and men.
Wood, J. T. (2011). Gendered Verbal Communication. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture (10th ed., pp. 118-137). Boston, MA: Cengage.
The book An Intorduction of Sociolinguistics is an outstanding introductary book in the field of sociolinguistics. It encompasses a wide range of language issues. In chapter 13, Wardhaugh provides a good insight to the relationship between language and gender. He explains gender differences of language-in-use with concise examples. Wardhaugh riases questions about sexist language and guides readers to look closer at how people use language differently because of their own gender in daily life. According to the Whorfian hypothesis, which indicates that the way people use language reflects their thoughts, different genders adapt different communication strategies.