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The importance of parents in children's education
Effect that parents have on child development
The importance of parents in children's education
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“We just want you to be happy, we know what is best;” This is how many parents justify setting goals and having expectations of their children as they grow up. In “The Drowned Son,” by David Guterson, the manly duck hunter of a father, Hutchinson, was blamed for the death of his son, Paul, because of his constant push to be doughty. Hutchinson strived for his son to grow up to be a man and not a coward, which pressured Paul to prove himself. Because of his father’s expectations, Paul eventually took a dangerous and adventurous fishing trip which ultimately ended his life. Like Mr. Hutchinson, all parents have hopes and dreams for their children; however having too high or even low expectations of them can be detrimental to their development as they grow to become more fulfilled human beings.
Children can become overwhelmed and pressured if parents set their expectations too high. I grew up in Palo Alto, the fifth most expensive city in the United States. Palo Alto parents expect their kids to do well in school, graduate from a four year university, and have a lucrative career. On top of that their kids must be well mannered, well traveled, and maintain their upper class status. As a result, this pressure has led to four teen suicides in Palo Alto in the year 2009 alone, all right before or during high school. However, studies have shown that students achieve more when they believe their parents have high goals set for them. Students usually exceed their set goals in order to avoid disappointing their parents. We aim to please and live up to these expectations because it gives us a feeling of success. This was illustrated when Paul shot the duck for his father on their hunting trip. “He’d felt an urge to please, that was clear n...
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... lessons that he enjoyed so much when he was younger because they were not “macho” enough. “The boy took violin lessons after school, a thing he seemed to enjoy. But he quit eventually and Laura blamed Hutchinson.” When I was tired or bored of the class I was taking, I was allowed to quit with no influence from my parents; no expectations of me becoming a prima ballerina or a famous artist. My parents, however, did have the expectations of me to get good grades in school, and after high school continue on to get a bachelor’s degree. School was the one area in which they set their sights for me; not to bully me into following in their footsteps, but to make sure I had options in the future when it came to job and career opportunities. I am extremely thankful for their gentle push in the right direction, which has made me realize that sometimes, parents do know best.
The author Wes Moore dad was a hard worker and he had dreams & goals set for the future. The other Wes’s parents didn’t have as much drive and ambition. The other Wes’s dad walked out on him and his mother was left to work jobs just to provide for the family. Author Wes’s parents ambitions rubbed off onto him and his mother’s love for education drove her to push Wes academically. The two mothers had different expectations and ambitions for their sons. The other Wes states “‘We will do what others expect of us, Wes said. If they expect us to graduate we will graduate. If they expect us to get a job, we will get a job. If they expect us to go to jail, we will go to jail.” (Moore 126). The expectation the families had on both Wes’s shaped who they were and that influenced the decisions they made, that caused their lives to end up so
The author believes that students in the current generation are under more pressure than preceding ones. “William Alexander, director of Penn’s counseling and psychological services stated, ‘A small setback used to mean disappointment…’ Now? ‘For some students, a mistake has incredible meaning.’” The specialists that the author chooses to cite are all credible, which helps to build her view on this subject. The research that Scelfo uses also illustrates the fact that a student’s family plays a big role in their overall mindset. For example, Alice Miller, a famous psychologist, observed that “…some especially intelligent and sensitive children can become so attuned to parents’ expectations that they do whatever it takes to fulfill those expectations- at the expense of their own feelings and needs.” Being able to support her argument with the findings of psychologists and doctors avails Scelfo in swaying the reader’s
...parents were much more successful in the working world encouraged him to complete many daily activities such as choir and piano lessons. His parents engaged him in conversations that promoted reasoning and negotiation and they showed interest in his daily life. Harold’s mother joked around with the children, simply asking them questions about television, but never engaged them in conversations that drew them out. She wasn’t aware of Harold’s education habits and was oblivious to his dropping grades because of his missing assignments. Instead of telling one of the children to seek help for a bullying problem she told them to simply beat up the child that was bothering them until they stopped. Alex’s parents on the other hand were very involved in his schooling and in turn he scored very well in his classes. Like Lareau suspected, growing up
In “Helicopter Parents – Stop Hovering!” Diether H. Haenicke makes a proposition that parents who hover for their children are not helping them; on the other hand, they are more likely affecting them negatively. Haenicke points out that some parents would attend classes in the university and take notes for their son or daughter if they were sick. He also states that parents would even go with their kids to a job interview. According to Haenicke, most companies will never hire a person who goes for a job interview with his or her parents. According to Haenicke, some students have low self-esteem because they rely less and less on their own abilities as they have learned to be dependent on their parents. The extreme dependence denies them the opportunity to learn by experience, which is the best teacher. All of these factors play a major role in the development of some mental problems by these students. It is therefore the highest time that college students should be left to lead their own lives and experience life in totality.
Telling a child they have to be number one in every subject, leads them to believe anything less is unsatisfactory. These children who are disciplined too harshly will become insecure adolescents and anxious adults (Extreme Parenting). Kwan Lee is the father of a student who attends OCT. He says, “The children of ‘Tiger Moms’ are too programmed. They get into a good college, but they don’t know what to do next,” (Yi). Such children lack initiative because their decisions have been made for them by their parents (Extreme Parenting). This leads to feelings of unsureness during the college
The father’s upbringing was such that financial stability was the priority. The child learned that dads are busy and do not have time to spend with their children. What a devastating realization for a child to conclude. Yet like most little boys, this one wanted to grow up to be like his role model, no matter the example. During the time from childhood to adolescent, parental influence can be either beneficial or detrimental. If the parents have a stable home, clear boundaries and open communications with their teens, the transition could flow easier. The perfect father does not guarantee the child will not rebel.
We as parents have become older, and we lived our lives. It is now our Children’s turn to live theirs and hope, as parents, we did most of what we had to do as God had wished us.
I was raised in an encouraging household where both of my parents greatly valued education. Although they were high school graduates, neither could afford to attend college; a combination of family and financial woes ultimately halted their path. As a result, my parents frequently reminded me that getting a good education meant better opportunities for my future. To my parents, that seemed to be the overarching goal: a better life for me than the one they had. My parents wanted me to excel and supported me financially and emotionally of which the former was something their parents were not able to provide. Their desire to facilitate a change in my destiny is one of many essential events that contributed to my world view.
Since most men have mothers to cater to their every need up until the time they move out, they have outrageous expectations of how a wife should act and what duties she should perform. Judy Brady, who is a wife and mother, wrote the essay "I Want a Wife" to explain what men want in a wife. She discusses the different skills a wife needs to possess for a man to consider her a good wife. Brady’s use of repetition, constant sarcasm, and defensive word choice throughout her essay makes it successful by relating to women’s frustrations of being a wife.
My story began on a cool summer’s night twenty short years ago. From my earliest memory, I recall my father’s disdain for pursuing education. “Quit school and get a job” was his motto. My mother, in contrast, valued education, but she would never put pressure on anyone: a sixty-five was passing, and there was no motivation to do better. As a child, my uncle was my major role-model. He was a living example of how one could strive for greatness with a proper education and hard work. At this tender age of seven, I knew little about how I would achieve my goals, but I knew that education and hard work were going to be valuable. However, all of my youthful fantasies for broader horizons vanished like smoke when school began.
My parents have this perfect life for me pictured in their heads, and the first thing they see me doing is going to college. They expect the best of me, and so by going to college, I will not only have fulfilled their goals for me, but I will have accomplished one of the goals I have set for myself. In our culture, when parents come to the age where they can’t support themselves, it is the duty of the children to look after them.
Marano, Hara E (2004). The Pressure from Parents. Psychology Today. Reviewed on January 24, 2007.
As years pass, more and more high school students are continuing their education by going off to college. The importance of earning a college degree is higher than ever. College gives these young adults the opportunity to start a new life and work towards a career of their choice. With this new experience, these students have to learn how to balance their schoolwork, social life, and any other extracurricular activities they are involved with. As a result of this, students start to feel pressure from many places. Economic, parental, peer, and self-induced pressures have been problems faced by college students for many years, but since the late 1970’s, they have only got worse due to tuition rising, students overexerting, the use of
In America, the society runs on what teenagers want. From Nicki Minaj to the junior section at Sears, most of what the people see, hear, or touch is aimed at the teenagers. Being an adolescent is probably the most exciting and most popular time period in a person’s life. The teens seem to have it all, but what about the parents who raise them? The parents of the teenagers never get any credit during this time period, although they have every right to. Parents and teenagers should strive for a strong, lasting relationship for these years, though most times there isn’t one. The relationship between teenagers and parents is the most vital bond in the family because this relationship should and will prepare them for the next step in life.
Are the new standards and expectations the world has for teenagers really creating monsters? The amount of stress that is put on students these days between trying to balance school, homework, extra curricular activities, social lives, sleep and a healthy lifestyle is being considered a health epidemic (Palmer, 2005). Students are obsessing over getting the grades that are expected of them to please those that push them, and in return, lose sleep and give up other aspects of their lives that are important to them, such as time with friends and family, as well as activities that they enjoy. The stress that they endure from the pressures of parents, teachers, colleges, and peers has many physical as well as mental effects on every student, some more harmful than others. The extreme pressure on students to get perfect grades so that they will be accepted into a college has diminished the concept of actually learning and has left the art of “financing the system” in order to succeed in its place (Palmer, 2005).