Growing Up

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Recommended: The effects of sexual abuse on adolescents

As I have traveled my journey in life nothing could have prepared me for some of the challenges that I would be faced with. My younger years were spent with such an innocent view of the world. I wanted to grow up so fast and take in all I could; there was so much to see and do! The words of my mother still echo in my ear “One day you will understand when it happens to you.” I can not say that I awoke one morning with a sense of wisdom. My wisdom has been gained through a combination of many different experiences, accomplishments, and failures. The one thing that stands out the most in my memories from childhood is that I never wanted for material things. My parents divorced when I was ten. Mom remarried shortly after to a prominent Doctor in the community and life was forever changed from that time on. I was often referred to as being spoiled because I had things that my friends did not. The ironic part is that looking back at the situation I did not feel spoiled. In fact, I felt quite the opposite. I longed for what my friends appeared to have; time with their parents. I may have not wanted for material possessions but I did long for the family interaction that everyone else seemed to have. It was not uncommon for my mom to hand me a few hundred dollars on her way out the door with my step-father for a vacation. My friends all thought this great. All I could think about was how much I would have given it all away to have just one family vacation. My first realization came from this and that is the coined phrase “money can not buy love.” Entering into my teenage years was a very difficult period in my life. Mom was busy with her life and trying to please her husband while I silently sat back feeling empty and lost. Not too long after my 11th birthday I became a victim of childhood sexual abuse. Looking back at that time in my life I can see what an easy target I was. I had such a deep seeded need to please other people and feel wanted. The only fortunate part of this trauma is that it did not last long.

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