Family Dynamics with SUD
“You can choose your friends but you sho’ can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.” -Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird. Family is a group of people related by blood. How appropriate since blood is a thick sticky substance like glue and glue holds things together. However, family can be a source of great difficulty. “Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go according to any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds, they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald. Our first example of family on this earth are Adam and Eve with their two sons Cain and Abel. In Genesis 4, we see where Cain slew Abel. No wonder those of us who come from dysfunctional families do not have warm, fuzzy feelings toward some of our relatives. Of course, we know that this has not been God’s intentions. Paul tells us, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ And
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you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:1-4). Not found in the dictionary, ideally, family should provide protection, support, meet needs, love, care, to serve one another, and to share life’s joys and sorrows. Everyone in a family suffer when a member has a SUD. All family members function with a high anxiety level never knowing what to expect from one moment to the next. To hide the SUD from outsiders, children are instructed to not talk to others about the home situation, their feelings, and to not trust anyone. Children are riddled with guilt and shame to the point where they may lose their identity, their independence, feel inadequate, incompetent, like a failure, unworthy, and/or damaged. Because of the chaos surrounding the SUD, the spouse will attempt to gain stability with various coping mechanisms. He/she becomes an enabler by making excuses for the spousal SUD, attempts to hide the SUD, and/or cater to the abuser attempting to keep him/her calm. Control issues develop as family members assume tasks once done by the person with the SUD. For example, a housewife may take a job and assume the responsibilities of paying the bills. Children mature faster as they assume adult responsibilities. Another coping mechanism is to create a pretense of stability. Personally, in our family, we were required to wear masks to church and school so that no one would know we were different. Children are exposed to abuse and/or neglect. Some children grow up to have SUDs of their own while others detach. Treatment options consist of coping skills training (CST) or adult children of alcoholics (ACOA).
These programs teach coping skills for the family members to utilize. They are taught how to stand up for themselves, stop enabling, resources available to seek legal counsel or combat violence. Despite criticism for the ACOA movement, many adult children of parents with SUD bring much emotional baggage into adulthood and would benefit from therapy. With many emotional scars, I personally received outpatient group therapy for co-dependency over a two-year period back in the nineties. My compulsive cleanliness and workaholic behaviors were having a negative impact on my marriage. Between therapy and total surrender to Christ, I am happy to say that I live with dust
bunnies.
The book To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee is about a black man named Tom Robinson who is being charged with the rape of a white girl named Mayella Ewell. While the lawyers are giving their closing statements, Atticus Finch, the lawyer for Tom Robinson, makes his closing statement using ethos and logos persuasive methods to show that Bob Ewell and Mayella Ewell were lying. The logo is the principle of reason and judgment. Ethos is appealing to somebody's emotions. These persuasion methods were effective because Atticus uses this technique a lot one example of this is when he uses logos and asks Bob Ewell to put his signature on a piece so that he could see what Bob Ewell's dominant hand was because according to heck Tate her right side
A distinct conscience is formed by the values and desires of one’s unique identity. However, common beliefs of societal standards can influence conscientious desires. In the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee introduces a young girl named Scout, who learns about the difference between social conformity and human conscience. Through this, she notices the conflict it brings: choosing to conform or stand with your desire. Through Maycomb’s discriminatory principles, Atticus’ actions against common beliefs, and Scout’s comprehension of Boo, Lee reveals how society’s standards and conformity hinders personal desires for righteousness.
A family is a group of people who love, respect, and help one another no matter the circumstances. Family members are not confined to people you are related to or have married; they can include friends, acquaintances, etc. In this second paragraph on page 283, Howard states, “If our relatives are not, do not wish to be, or for whatever reason cannot be our friends, then by some complex alchemy we must try to transform our friends into our relatives.” This shows that blood relatives should come first in the matter or family, but there are circumstances in which this is untrue. For example, there are several family members that my immediate family, consisting of my mother, father, and myself, no longer associate with, nor do we plan to. My aunt (my mother’s sister) recently started heavily drinking alcohol again. This causes her to become volatile and vicious, and consequently takes it out on everyone who tries to assist her. She began to yell at my mother for no reason and called her a plethora of rude names accompanied by several cuss words. I found out about this rampage on my own and wanted to make her realize what she was doing was wrong, so I told her that she had no right to call my mom any of these names. We got into a bit of an argument, and she took it all out on my mother yet again. My uncle heard of this news and took my aunt’s side, fully understanding the entire story. Needless to say, we refrain from speaking to them for fear of them causing more drama. As Howard suggested, we have made friends with our neighbors and have adapted them into fitting in with our definition of family. We love them, we respect them, and we help them on a daily basis.
Effective Conventions Made : Research shows that children are more susceptible to commit crimes, develop depression and ___ psychological disorders from the effects of bad parenting. In fact, many people grow up treating others just like how their parents treated them with reference to their parents’ values, behaviours and attitudes. Harper Lee, an American author expressed her childhood experiences in Alabama through writing the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. This book makes a reference to how society views in the Great Depression (1930s) changed to be noticeably racist impacting the life of a widowed father and lawyer named Atticus and his children Jem and Scout. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee conveys that Atticus Finch is a great
Mothering is the action of putting one’s child before herself, and preparing their child with the appropriate requisites, such as knowledge, they need in order to be successful human being. In the novel, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, Jem and Scout have been living without a mother for most of their lives; however, the two had a motherly figure in their household while growing up. Besides their father, Atticus, Calpurnia, the Finch’s cook and maid, has helped raise Jem and Scout since their mother’s death four years prior to when the book started. She is very loyal to the Finch's; Atticus sees her as part of the family. Throughout the course of the book, Calpurnia has been a substantial motherly figure towards Jem and specifically
To Kill A Mockingbird Generations of family, living in the same community can leave an identity for themselves, making them live with it for generations to generations. The Finches, The Ewells and Dill's family are three families who are all criticized and sometimes applauded for their way of living. The Ewells are “ the disgrace of Maycomb for three generations.
Growing up in Maycomb In the famous novel To Kill a Mockingbird, there are three main themes: Growing up in Maycomb, Racism, and Courage. In chapter one through ten, it talks about Jem and Scout spending every summer with Dill, it also talks about how Jem grew closer to Dill and started to leave Scout out of their activities. On page six of the novel , Growing up in Maycomb they believe that there was ”Nothing to fear but fear itself’. Maycomb was a town where you could sit on your porch with peace, and everyday door was open on Sunday Maycomb seemed to be hotter back then, people also moved slower then. Scout and Jem seemed to love growing up in Maycomb ( they had their down times) they seemed to have a decent life especially with a father like Atticus . Atticus was a straight forward man who did everything for his family. Atticus was a lawyer for the town ; for the most part loved him. He believes that everyone deserves and a fair chance , somehow he mad growing up in this small town easy for the kids. Calpurnia, the cook, also made growing up easy for the kids. Cal is a Negro woman that came to the house every day to cook and clean for the family .She plays a mother role in the novel. Jem and Scout’s
In the book to kill a Mocking Bird the story takes place in Maycomb, Alabama. Maycomb County’s setting was different depending on the weather. During the rainy weather grass was growing on the sidewalks, and the streets turned to red slope. During the hot days there were flies under the shade. The setting is important because the time of the book was when the Southern states where still racist, and they were living a poor life style. Another way the setting is important to the time of the book because winter comes to early, and it snows, so the neighbors want there flowers protected and the kids want to make a snowman so it works out for everyone.
To Kill a Mockingbird: Race Relations Racism is a problem that has been around for multiple centuries. In To Kill a Mockingbird, it demonstrates how racism can affect one person even in the court of law. In this story, the case of Tom Robinson is told. It is obvious that Robinson is a victim of racist people that see him guilty only because of his race, African American. From the beginning, it seems obvious that Robinson does not have a chance of winning his case, whether he is guilty or not.
Life is full of lessons. The lessons you learn adjust and fit your character and who you are. In the book, To Kill A Mockingbird, the characters of Jem and Scout are young, and have to figure life as they go. Jem and Scout witness and live through life lessons. They learn these lessons from others around them. Some lessons come from their town itself, while others come from people. Their father, Atticus, teaches them a lot about life and the right and wrong. Jem and Scout learn what it means to have empathy, courage, persistence and personal integrity. Also, the Mockingbirds themselves adjust and appoint life lessons.
To Kill A Mockingbird - Relationship of Two Characters & nbsp; & nbsp; In the beginning, all was good and calm in the lives of the Finches. Members of the family included Atticus, Jem, Scout, Aunt Alexandra, and Calpurnia. The relationship between two of the main characters, Atticus and Jem, is of particular interest. & nbsp; In the beginning section of To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, the relationship between Atticus and Jem is simple. Jem sees Atticus as older and less active than the fathers of his friends at school.
The county of Maycomb Created by Harper Lee, while appearing quaint, is bustling with activity. There are three easily recognizable family lines presented in the novel, consisting of the Ewell’s, the Finch’s, and the Cunningham’s. Each family is known for their unique attributes. While some have morals and values that frowned upon, such as the Ewell’s, others like the Cunningham’s are honest people with strong morals. They “never took anything they can’t take back,” for they, “are country folks, farmers, and the crash hit them the hardest” (Lee, pg. 26-27). Scout and Jem befriend Walter, a Cunningham, in their class and invite him over for dinner, to which he hesitantly agrees after much persuasion. In accordance with their family’s morals,
The word “family” is unique, special, and controversial among different cultures and ethnicities. As defined by Random House Western Dictionary, a family is “any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins” (Dictionary.com). Although the definition from Random House follows the infamous proverb of, “blood is thicker than water,” my definition of family does not. Family is not defined or restricted by blood relations. In my mind, a family is simply a group of people, who loves, supports, and helps each other unconditionally, and endlessly. Regardless of one’s sexual orientation or preference, all families embody these common principles. Thus, a family unites its members through the strong bonds and kinships formed when people come together. (Great intro.)
When the word “family” is discussed most people think of mothers, fathers, and other siblings. Some people think of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even cousins and more on the pedigree tree. Without family in people 's lives they would not be the same people that they grew up to be today and in the future. When people hear the word family they think about, the ones who will help them in any way they can whether it 's money, support, advice, or anything to help them succeed in life. Family will forever be the backbone of support. They are the ones who support their children during those life decisions. Family is not always blood related. Finally family is forever, family will never go away.
There may be times where no one is there for you, your friends betray you in some way, and the only one that will be waiting with open arms are you family. It is very important to always cherish and appreciate the love, comfort, help, and attention that your family offers you because if you don’t, you may just end up regretting it in the end. A family does not necessarily have to be considered blood. If you have close friends that you see as a brother or sister because of their loyalty to you and the way they treat you, they are considered family. A family will always bring peace, love, and happiness, and though there may be times that you bump heads with your family members, you always run back to each other and speak as if everything is perfectly