Failure: A Personal Analysis

Failure, many people would say, is a normal part of life. In order to know success, one must first know failure. The two most common reactions to this is to either learn from your mistakes and use it to better conduct your future or you can let it set you back. Growing up, experiencing failure whether in its true form or feeling its misdirected impact, was a part of my day to day life. My father was abusive, both mentally and emotionally. Pointing out the areas of my actions, of my personality, and of my physical appearance that were consistently inadequate came as easily to him as breathing, like it was necessary for survival. There was simply not one thing in my life that I could succeed at in his eyes. I was a failure both at school and

At first experiencing this as I was growing up had no effect on me, as I grew older and had more of an understanding of what was happening I let it become damaging. My self-esteem, though never very high, dropped as well as my social skills. I developed social anxiety and depression and proceeded to fall in a downward spiral. Just two months before I graduated high school, my parents separated and my dad moved out. By then my plans for college in the fall of 2015 had already been set; I was going to attend a local community college so I could live at home to be with my younger brother midst the chaos. When my dad moved out my reasoning I used to plan my future was useless. My home was now a safer and more nurturing environment and my family could begin to heal. Five months had then passed and I began taking courses at Manchester Community College. I soon realized that I was in no mental or emotional state to be able to accomplish anything, much less be in college. I then proceeded to drop out and did not return for the spring semester. I used this time off to focus on putting myself back together and really decide what I wanted to do with my life and that bring me to where I am right