FAMILY STRUCTURE AND NURTURE IN NEPAL AND IN THE USA

FAMILY STRUCTURE AND NURTURE IN NEPAL AND IN THE USA

The meaning of family varies from place to place and from culture to culture. One all-encompassing definition that describes every type of family across the board does not exist. For instance, in places like China children can be raised apart from their father and mother in a group of women, but still count themselves a family. Alan C. Acock in his book Family Diversity and Well Being states that a married couple with no children is not considered a family (122), but some married couples may contest this theory. In fact, there are more variations on modern family structure than ever before, including non-traditional families where grandparents raise their grandchildren, adoptive families, foster families, and blended families with children from two or more sets of parents (“Power Tools”). Despite the challenges faced by many families today, I believe that the children of the current generation—known as Generation Y—can thrive as long as they receive nurture and enrichment from their family members. As a member of Generation Y myself, I speak from first-hand experience. In the following paragraphs, I will give an account of my own upbringing in Nepal that led to my current status as a college student in the USA. I will also briefly describe family structures in America, and compare them to Nepali family structure. In the end, I propose that nurture is the key to producing well-adjusted children today, regardless of family type or where the children are raised.

In Nepal, I experienced both the progressive style of family living and the older medieval style where custom and tradition count first no matter what. More than 90% of the people in Nepal who were born between 1978 and 1998 (the Generation Y youth) still live in old medieval-style families where cultural rules govern everyday life. The people of Nepal are socially segmented along lines of caste, sub-caste and ethnicity, and values and traditions also differ from one caste to another.

In my caste, called Gurung, it would be permissible for me to marry my own uncle or aunt’s daughter, culturally speaking. Other castes, especially Brahmin, consider marriage between cousins a sin—something very bad. My ancestors practiced these kinds of marriages within a family in order to make the existing family stronger and inseparable.