Explain 2.2 Child Temperament In Relation To Parenting And Child Development

2.2 Child Temperament in Relation to Parenting and Child Development
Temperament refers to the components of a person’s personality such as introversion or extroversion that is classified as innate rather than learned (“What is Temperament”). It’s the fixed part of a individual’s personality and describes how they react with the world most of the time (“Parenting with LOVE: Temperament”) and has been broken down into four temperament types classified by nine traits. Activity level, rhythmicity meaning routines, distractibility, approach or withdrawal responses, adaptability, attention span or persistence, intensity of reaction, sensitivity to textures, noises, flavours, and quality of mood whether a child is happy and positive most of the

time or negative and unpleasant (“Temperament”). These traits define a child’s temperament, classifying them as a sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic or a melancholic person.

The sanguine temperament seeks approval and praise, they are known as the most energetic and active people with attention seeking behaviours and are especially sensitive to any criticism. A choleric’s need for achievement and appreciation is what drives them. Often coming across as controlling, goal-oriented and domineering it is all part of their need to feel productive and recognized. Phlegmatics on the other hand value and have an emotional need for respect. Since they are the most easy-going, phlegmatics are often trying to be changed by choleric, melancholic, or sanguine temperament types and because phlegmatics are all about keeping the peace, they tend to give in to the other temperament’s strong will. What they perceive as lazy and unwilling, is just phlegmatics having their own set of priorities which contradicts those of the other three. The last temperament type are melancholics. Melancholics tend to be more detail oriented and have a deep need for order and are the most emotionally sensitive. They are the most prone to depression and are socially insecure. It is important for

parents to understand their own temperament and the one of their child. The way the different temperaments interact with each other is often detrimental simply due to a lack of understanding and although a parent can’t control how other people interact with their children, they can control how they do in the stage of life where the parent’s influence is the strongest. Choleric parents with their constant need for productivity often push phlegmatic, melancholic, and sanguine children to work on something. When they aren’t, the parent is vocal about the child not necessarily being the most productive and is ‘wasting their life away’ (Temperament). Being aware of a child’s temperament means a parent can nurture and get their child to strive based on their individual temperaments and emotional needs. When temperament is not considered in the context of raising children it leads to many events and miscommunications that ultimately results in a feeling of being misunderstood and angst.
2.3 The Integration of The Five Love Languages in Parenting and Child Development
The five love languages is a theory created by Dr. Gary Chapman and consists of the idea that people have “love tanks” which are filled by a primary display of affection that the individual responds to and understands the most. Although built in the context of romantic relationships it can be applied to a parent-child relationship as well. The five love languages include physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and receiving gifts (Chapman). Physical touch is about valuing physical contact, children whose love language is physical touch respond best to hugs and kisses and even just putting a hand on their shoulder. Physical abuse and any touch that has a negative attachment to it is especially damaging to children with this love language. Words of affirmation is about the recipient and their internalization of words. The best way to show affection to children with a love language of words of affirmation is phrases such as “Good job,” “I love you,” and “I’m proud of you.” They are extremely sensitive to any verbal abuse, harsh words and criticism since it is an expression of hate in the language they understand the most. Acts of service is about helping someone with practical tasks. A child with this love language appreciates help in responsibilities such as helping clean up toys. Quality time is arguably the hardest love languages to display, it’s about spending uninterrupted time with your child and ensuring they know they have your undivided attention. Time spent away from children and being distracted while with them is damaging to them and leaves them with a feeling of being unloved. Receiving gifts is the last love language and although it sounds materialistic, it refers to the sentiment behind received gifts (Chapman). Parents and people in general tend to project their own love language as a way of expressing their love to others, not being aware of the possibility that the other person may have a different love language but is not receiving it. Speaking a child’s love language is essential in making them feel loved and important which overall nurtures self esteem, prevents behavioural issues, and promotes healthy relationships (“Start Speaking Your Child’s Love Language”).
2.4 Results of Primary Research
Through a survey collection that received seventy responses from people varying in ages, it gathered results on parents and parenting styles and the direct effect it had on children.

Out of these seventy respondents, over fifty percent believe parenting is a skill that does not come naturally, two open response questions followed so answers were diverse. With the two questions determining what people think are the best and worst things to do as parents, although the answers were all different there were occurring ones. Under the worst things to do were all extremes, for example being too controlling and not controlling enough while under the best thing were being supportive, caring, communicative and respective. With three choices to the next question, it was almost perfectly split into thirds. Respondents were asked to determine if everyone who wishes to be a parent, have the right to be a parent, twenty eight percent said yes, thirty four percent said no, and thirty seven percent said maybe. The next question was very personal but had good results, respondents were asked if they consider themselves mentally healthy with seventy seven percent of them saying yes. The other twenty three percent were later asked a question about which mental illness they have been diagnosed with or identify with, the distribution can be seen in figure 1. With just over twelve percent of people saying that their parents did not feel approachable, another eighteen percent felt as though

decisions were being made by their parents on their behalf. In the next four questions parenting styles were addressed so the answers consisted of the four parenting styles authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and indulgent (refer to section 2.1) with brief descriptions of each. Fifty percent of respondents concluded that their mother or stepmother had an authoritative parenting approach with the next highest parenting style being permissive. In fathers, forty two percent said their father or stepfather were authoritative with the next highest parenting style being permissive. Authoritarian parenting was under fifteen percent in both mothers and fathers while neglectful parenting was under eight percent in both mothers and fathers. Respondents were then asked to think about what parenting style they wish their parents applied, sixty one percent said authoritative and none said they wished their parents used the parenting style neglectful. The last question regarding parenting styles asked respondents to determine which parenting style they saw themselves applying. Fifty five percent said authoritative, eighteen percent permissive, two percent said authoritarian and two percent said neglectful. This left only twenty three percent believing that it should depend on their child and that they would not parent with a fixed set of standardized criteria. Looking at the individual responses, certain responses correlated with others. People without a mental illness, which were the majority, had at least one authoritative parent, with the other parent varying between permissive and authoritative. The last trend that was observed were those whose answers to “Which of the four parenting styles are closest to you mother or father?” differed from “Which parenting style do you wish your parents applied to you?”, selected “No” to the question addressing whether everyone who wished to be a parent had the right to be a parent.