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Personal narrative on abuse
Personal narrative on abuse
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Escaping abuse is like climbing a mountain, difficult but not impossible. Victims of abuse are degraded, hurt, and traumatized. So why is it that many victims do not seek help immediately, or escape when given the opportunity?
When a person is abused, terror invades their mind and body. “’I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t even scream because it was very traumatic. You don’t know how to act,’ says Ladino, a rape victim” (Sacha 2). Being afraid of an abuser is one of the several reasons people choose not to speak up about their case. “’I imagine he didn’t feel like there was a way out,’ a psychologist said, adding that it seems the victim thought something worse would happen if he disobeyed his captors” (Poisson and Casey 3). A predator knows that sheer terror can keep their prey reigned in, and they use that to their advantage.
Those who have been mistreated and traumatized often experience shame. “For me, I felt shame and embarrassment. I was scared. I felt alone. I felt trapped…” (Bostick 2) When victims are humiliated, they often feel like they need to hide the evidence of the wrongdoings done to them. They are disgusted with what they let happen to them. In turn, their self-worth and esteem are diminished.
Often times, children are taken advantage of by their mother or father. “There are a lot of confusing emotions, typically because the perpetrator is someone who they love and they trust and it makes disclosure very difficult for a lot of children” (Bostick 2). Young ones put a lot of trust into their parents, and the thought of breaking faith with their mom or dad is incomprehensible. “I cry from the guilt of betraying my mother, for not keeping the shroud on her secrets when I held them locked in such trust” (Gregory 2...
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...e crap beaten out of you, so eventually you stop standing up for yourself and you just submit” (Poisson and Casey 2). This is called a learned helplessness (Poisson and Casey 2). Victims of abuse get shabby and tattered, and they feel as if there is no point in living anymore (Hallstrom 2013). In turn, they live their shattered lives wistfully and dolefully, submitting to others. These targets do not let their voice be heard because they are afraid it will not be listened to.
Overall, there are several of reasons victims of abuse do not speak up and ask for help. Whether it is they were shameful or threatened, terrorized or helpless, the only way to escape abuse is to recognize it for themselves. They need to know that they are not alone. Once victims reach the top of that mountain, only then will they be able to enjoy the beautiful view of the world before them.
As of 2005, 16.6% of children experience physical abuse and 9.3% experience sexual abuse (USDHHS, 2007). Besides bruises and scars, the effects of physical abuse are long lasting. Children are physically taught to be submissive to others, so they often become more reserved socially. In relation to sexual abuse, children often say that being raped causes them to feel “dirty,” meaning that they are, from that point on, corrupted. Unfortunately, very few realize that this abuse is not their fault. Since all children are taught that punishment is given because they did something wrong, foster children often believe that they deserve to be beaten or raped. Due to
Scott wrote a talk titled “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse.” He begins by discussing the effects of unresolved abuse– feelings of fear, depression, guilt, lack of trust in others, and self-hatred are among the listed emotions. Elder Scott also taught that abuse is the result of a person unrighteously using their agency, and that the Lord has provided a way to heal.
…many people now acquire "victimhood" through counseling. Being a "victim" draws sympathy. It explains the tragedies, the failures, the hardships, the health problems and the disappointments of life. It relieves people of some of life's natural burdens: dealing with complexity, facing things beyond their control, and accepting responsibility for decisions and actions.
Cries for help usually go unanswered leaving the victim to think, “Why is this happening to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Most of the time they have done nothing at all, but still are in a hurricane of thoughts trying to fathom why they are getting picked on. Some w...
In a study done by The Journal of Clinical Psychology, “the primary reason for not reporting seemed to combine a type of guilt with embarrassment.” With the help of utilizing support groups, clubs, and other programs among college campuses that are designed to make the victim’s experience a little easier, the victims may not feel as embarrassed to come out and may feel safer in their decision to move forward with their case. One of the most notable effects of rape is the psychological impact that it has on the victim immediately as well as long-term. Many victims feel depression, anxiety, and other sudden onset mental illnesses as a result of their attack and can last for years post-attack. The Journal of Interpersonal Violence reported that in their study of 95 victims over a 12 week long period, “by 3 months post-crime 47% still met the full criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” This prolonged experience of emotional trauma can weaken the person’s overall mental wellbeing and cause the trauma to stick with them for the rest of their lives, especially if there are no support resources around them. As cited in the Journal of Clinical Psychology study previously, the number one reason for not reporting is the feeling of embarrassment which causes the victims to not talk about their experience and to shut out those around
Within the criminal justice system, the victim faces re-victimization with the techniques that are done within the court room. For example, the defense attorney may try to use rape myths such as the victim asked for it based on the way she may have dressed, the victim led the offender on by flirting with them, and that she could have avoided being raped if she wasn’t drinking (Burgess, Regehr, & Roberts, 2013, p. 377). The purpose of using rape myths is to demonize the victim’s character by subjecting the victim to humiliating and inquisitive questions (Burgess, Regehr, & Roberts, 2013, p. 377). Third, the victim may not report rape to law enforcement because they may fear retaliation by the offender, especially if that offender is a lifelong partner or a boyfriend. Fourth, due to the culture of rape and the influences of the media, a victim may feel guilty and blame themselves for the assault (Burgess, Regehr, & Roberts, 2013, p. 377). As stated earlier, rape myths are used to demonize the victim’s character and ultimately take the blame away from the offender and put it onto the victim. In fact, rape myths serve to lessen the prevalence and seriousness of
Other people often overlook domestic abuse. People generally do not like to get themselves involved in other people’s problems, especially when they believe there might be problems at home. For one reason or the other, the person who is the witness to someone who is being abused by their spouse does not want to report the crime, or get involved at all, because they are afraid something violent will happen to them while trying to help. Inside the relationship, there are many signs of the abuse. The biggest sign is that you completely fear your partner.
Many times, the victim is by themselves, with fellow victims, or with their own children produced through this horrible event. Victims can easily feel isolated and naturally, like all humans, look for someone to love and bond with, this person could be their abuser, this is called Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome is a group of psychological problems that are shown in people held captive. It comes from a famous bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden in 1973. The bank robber took three women and one man captive for over 130 hours. When the victims were eventually released, they seemed to have an emotional bond with their abuser, and came to see the police as their enemies rather than the bank robber (Stockholm Syndrome). These people were only held for 5 days, (compared to decades that some sex trafficking victims are held), and they already formed a bond with the abuser. It is not uncommon for sex trafficking victims to become emotionally connected to their abuser. Their abuser is the one giving them the things they need to survive, telling them any news or information, and providing drugs and alcohol. Victims can view these actions as kindness from their abuser, causing them to want to connect with them more. When the victim knows that they could be raped every night, but instead their abuser only does it once a
Women stay in the abusive relationships because our society puts an enormous pressure on them. Fear, shame, oppression and radical change push women to choose life in misery and stay silent. Moreover man creates unequal atmosphere around women and by that show their dominance and supremacy. It is hard for a woman in the abusive relationship, who was already weakened by her abuse to overcome all those fears, to gather her strength and only to start a fight, with only power she has left.
The scary part is that this number does not even account for the numerous cases that are not even reported. Many victims are threatened or even hurt so badly that they must keep their mouth shut in fear of even worse abuse to come. Of course, a large portion of these victims are women, which makes it even more understandable. In order to deal with the after effects of domestic abuse, women need social and emotional support (Svavarsdóttir et al.).
Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age, at any time. This is repetitive acts of behavior of wanting to maintain power and have control over someone whether it be through childhood, adolescents, or adulthood. This subject is sensitive as it impacts so many different people around the world. The topic of abuse is not just a family matter, it comes in all forms, such as sexual, emotional, and physical. Abuse is accompanied by the long term emotional tolls, especially on children because their brains are still developing and can take abuse harder than others. One question to ask, is how does one overcome abuse? As children and adolescents develop, how do they function emotionally and physically? These traumatic experiences that happen through
Sexual assault is an offense that plagues many U.S. citizens. Although some studies show that rape is on the decline, other studies report that the phenomena actually occuring is that less rape victims are reporting the crime. In fact, approximately 68% of sexual assaults go unreported to the police according to the U.S. Department of Justice in a National Crime Victimization Survey from 2008-2012. It is common knowledge that rape victims are usually severely traumatized after the event, which leaves them susceptible to various emotions such as shame, anxiety, numbness, fear, denial, and guilt. Because of this, many rape victims decide to repress their experience and let it go unheard. However, not only does this prevent them from healing emotionally,
There are many different types of victims we have discussed over the course of this class, but we’re only going to talk about two types in the following paper. These two types of victims are common just as any another victim across America. These include sex assault victims and child abuse victims, which are both primary victims in cases. The two share a tie together, both are a victim of abuse and can cause lifelong consequences, but they also pose many differences as well. Many questions arise when talking about victims, for example why is a child or adult being abused and what are the life altering affects to these actions. Throughout this paper we discuss both sexual assault victims and child abuse victims and compare and contrast between the two.
A victim may be too embarrassed or humiliated to ask for help. Being a victim of domestic violence myself, you learn to hold things in and stay to yourself. You feel that if you steer clear of everyone and everything, things will correct themselves on their own. Not true. Accept the help that is being offered, overcoming domestic violence is not something you have to do alone or live in fear
People hollering out car windows at pedestrians. Groups of teenagers terrifying kids walking home from school. People being hurt by those they love. Kimberly A. Lonsway, PhD, and Sergeant Joanne Archambault from End Violence Against Women International stress that victims often disassociate. “Many victims describe experiencing a feeling of paralysis during the sexual assault that is often referred to as “frozen fright.”