Ender's Game Self-Acceptance Theme

Expectations are set with good intentions but often prove to be a source of stress when placed upon a person. The expectations that are set for others prove to be a source of confusion. They cause one to lose themselves in a pool of incurable stress. Life no longer becomes about living for themselves, but to impress the authority above. In Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card the theme of self-acceptance is shown throughout Ender’s journey through Ender’s thoughts, actions, and words.
Self-acceptance is a long journey, and it takes a lot of reflection upon oneself in order to reach that goal. That being said, everyone is on the same journey of self-acceptance. Ender’s journey is followed throughout the novel showing his inner struggles. Ender

began as a young boy put in a situation unfit for a child’s developing brain, although this was the least of the I.F.’s worries. A hatred for himself began as he constantly compared himself to others, especially when he compared himself to his brother. Ender thought, “Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be” (145 Card). This feeling he had of self-hatred began with the constant comparison in his head with evil. He felt that he is pretending to be someone like his brother and then he fears that his brother is what he has become. He started to wonder more about what people think about him rather than worrying about his own journey. He began to feel alone and question his character.
When people are alone, they tend to get caught up in their thoughts. They seem to compare themselves to the endlessly photoshopped models on the cover of magazines and other unrealistic standards. The way to succeed in the world is to find a strength within in order to begin the journey of self-acceptance. So many people today are turning to solutions that harm the body in ways that not only damage your actual body; but also, the person inside. Ender’s approach to this was blaming himself for all of the misery he had gone through. People, like Ender, begin to stop caring what they think about themselves and only care about what others think about them. A journey of self-acceptance is one of the hardest journeys a person takes because it must be conquered in order to feel free and loved not only by others, but most importantly, by oneself.
The expectations set for Ender in Ender’s Game prove to take a toll upon Ender, and they make him reconsider his self-worth. He begins to wonder what could possibly happen to him in the future, and he begins to regret some of the choices that he has made. He begins to think whether or not everything is worth it, and he misses his innocence that he he had before the world told him what they wanted him to be. He constantly is being segregated for his abilities just to push him farther. Orson Scott Card states that, “nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you. I didn't come here because I wanted to be a colonist. I came because I've spent my whole life in the company of the brother that I hated. Now I want a chance to know the brother that I loved, before it's too late, before we're not children anymore" (197 Card). The saddest thing is the commanders are placing the pressure of saving the world on Ender’s shoulders. Ender does not have any time to find out who he is as a person, and it is holding him back. The commanders aren’t letting Ender be a kid. He begins to think of himself as an enemy and almost seems to lose who he is as a person. He needed to find out who he was in order to progress as a person.
When people are placed under high expectations, it inhibits them from doing the very best that they can do.

They now feel pressure to try and be what everybody else wants them to be instead of being what they want to be. It almost seems that when high expectations are placed it no longer is about living for yourself it is about living for others. This has caused struggle in many people’s lives especially Ender’s. From the age of six he has been put on blast for every single thing he does. He has no room for learning opportunities due to them always being thought of as mistakes. This society is not as different from the society in Ender’s game. The high expectations are set to impossible standards. People seem to forget about what a blessing it is to just live and be free. Orson Scott Card shows everyone that reads the book how the journey of self-acceptance is the most rewarding, yet painful, journey that will be embarked

upon.
Throughout the novel, Ender is always kind of hidden from the truth. He seems to always be told half-truths that make what was being done to him seem just. The confusion happening on the exterior made his inner thoughts even more confusing. The commanders were talking about Ender saying, "... we have to strike a delicate balance. Isolate him enough that he remains creative-- otherwise he'll adopt the system here and we'll lose him. At the same time, we need to make sure he keeps a strong ability to lead" (18 Card).Trying to figure out who you are as a kid is one of the hardest things to do. Ender not only had to conquer the original hardship, he also had to go through being bossed around and manipulated into cooperation. He had friends constantly taken away from him in order to “prepare” him for his job in the future. His whole support system was constantly being taken away from him leaving him with his thoughts to drown his brain with negative emotions. Ender needed to figure his life as a kid out with friends to let his emotions out to instead of leaving them trapped inside his head.
Today many people have outlets in order to let out emotion.

One of the major outlets is friends or family. Ender had Valentine for a period of time, but he lost contact with her for a while causing him to feel even more alone than he already felt. Having somebody listen to what you are thinking is one of the most relieving things that can be done, and Ender needed that. The second Ender found friends he was moved to a different location. Ender rarely cried, but the thought of losing the friends that he had made proved too much: “Ender was so angry at the unfairness of the transfer that tears were coming to his eyes. Mustn't cry, he told himself” Everybody has moments, like Ender, when they feel completely alone. Feeling alone is dangerous. Thoughts can consume your brain until everything that can be overthought has been stressed to no end. It ends up getting to the point where it is late at night and you just keep thinking until you fall

asleep.
Overall self-acceptance is a journey that everybody takes. Some are more hesitant than others, but everyone struggles with it. Being surrounded by a world that seems to know exactly what they want everybody to be from the second they say their first word, it is hard to form your own opinion. Orson Scott Card showed the reality of being a child growing up with high expectations. Obviously not many children can say that they have been recruited to save the world, but the journey is one in the same. The theme of self-acceptance is not just present in Ender’s Game, it is present in everybody’s life every single second of every single day.