Dr. Monica Mcgoldrick Chapter Summary

Dr. Monica McGoldrick is a Family Systems expert who has published multiple books on the usefulness of genograms during the treatment of families. She proposes that when a client is put to the task of creating a multigenerational genogram for his family, the therapist can then use multiple questioning techniques that glean further information about them, thereby gaining further details that help fill in the “holes” the clients may not be telling the therapist that would help the therapist uncover the real issues. In this text, McGoldrick intends for readers to understand how a genogram differs from creating a simple family tree, in that it focuses on patterns of relationships, impacts of illnesses, separations, and grief; then gives further

suggestions for how to synthesize the information in order to put it to its best use. You can go home again: reconnecting with your family provides multiple examples of famous families, which demonstrate the domino effect of intergenerational patterns. This book is written in an easy to read format, and is meant to introduce the reader to something they may not know much about going in.
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The opening chapters of McGoldrick’s work, You can go home again: reconnecting with your family, explain to the reader a bit about personal history. McGoldrick believes that when we look at treating a family in therapy, it’s important to go back and find out what exactly has been established within that family, and by whom. Essentially, we are each the sum of many, many parts, and some of these “parts” may not be so immediate; hence, we need to develop an intergenerational diagram to see into a family more acutely. McGoldrick says a good family therapist will look at the history of the family, which is a deeply relevant context that we cannot ignore. Thus, we should not be reduced to our roots, yet we should certainly respect that they are a part of us, and therefore a part of the treatment process (Wyatt and Yalom 2006).
On McGoldrick’s website for the Multicultural Family Institute, it states, “Our most exciting hope is for the development of research using genogram information as a database” (Genograms and Genogram Life Stories).

This book was written in 1995, and so it is a bit outdated for the work McGoldrick has done in the area of genograms since, but it is certainly a good start for a reader who knows little about the structure. The central message of this book is that we “are not always aware-whether positive or negative- of the traits we have absorbed from [our] families” (McGoldrick, 53). Oftentimes we can see a negative trait within our family dynamic; for example, Grandpa Woodland was horribly overbearing to even his adult children, yet we do not necessarily recognize we have also “absorbed some of these same mannerisms” (McGoldrick 53). For example, now the daughter is

overbearing,
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enough to impede her personal growth; yet, she may not recognize this trait within herself. McGoldrick suggests that with awareness comes ability to change, and well-designed genograms can perhaps affect that change.
According to the text, a genogram designer is somewhat forced to have important conversations with multiple family members in order to properly fill out this type of family tree. In fact, a genogram can, by its very nature, give a client tools for questioning his family members, and not just one but multiple members. This could be the first time these individuals have ever interacted on a more in-depth level. It may, just through the questioning and conversations, affect the way family members view each other and themselves within and outside of the family.
McGoldrick spends much of the book giving examples of genograms of well-known historical families. She uses the information to explain the process by which family traits and patterns can be passed down generation after generation. She shows that the extended family (inter-generationally) has a monumental impact on the immediate one. Consequently, one may unconsciously choose a mate based on a preset pattern of behavior, thereby repeating the pattern. When I made my genogram, I found that on both sides of my family, each of my parents had a grandfather who had a previous marriage in which they abandoned a single child whom they remained distant/cutoff to and then remarried and had a “new” family. Both of these men had a history of alcohol abuse as well. Did this action impact each family? Absolutely. Does it domino effect down into other generations? Well, in the

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next generation, each of my grandfathers had a father who died very early in their lives; in a sense, abandoning them. As a result, each grandfather became a caretaker
to his other siblings at a very early age, which in turn, created a need in each of them to “control” their environment and later, their own immediate family members. Theoretically, that then caused a Type A, overbearing nature within my family, so yes, I would agree there is something to the idea that patterns have a tendency to manifest themselves.
McGoldrick believes that certain aspects of the family dynamic are not given enough consideration in other theorists’ family systems styles.

Her book also includes sections on the roles of gender, religion, birth order, and culture to show the importance these play in shaping family traditions and inherent beliefs over periods of time. On immigration, she says, “When you have access to details of family history, it makes a great difference why the family came, what it left behind, and what dreams or fears it brought with it (McGoldrick, 264). Indeed, traditional roles and strict cultural value sets can have a powerful and lasting influence over family

systems.
At the end of each chapter McGoldrick provides readers with a series of questions they can ask of family. By their very nature, the questions will force family to get more intimate with each other through the asking of them. In essence, the hope is to facilitate a conversation that has the power to enlighten, and therefore change our perspectives. Hopefully, that means members can let go of the “truths” each believes about their roles, and at the very least, it gives them a new choice in
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whom their future selves can be. McGoldrick recognizes this process can be challenging, saying, “Accepting your parents means giving up your efforts to change them. This isn’t to say that you do not keep working to understand them. But instead of building the relationship on the basis of an expected ‘payback’ from the parent, you put the emphasis on how you want to relate”(McGoldrick, 194). The writing structure of each chapter is categorized by a different aspect of families in order to give the reader a primary focus for each section.
To conclude, I especially connected with what McGoldrick stressed throughout the text—in order to “connect” to our family members again, we must “accept” them for whom they are and what they have to offer. At one point, she referenced the Al-Anon mantra, “Help me to accept what I cannot change” and influences her reader to instead look inward in order to change how we act or react; to “break the cycle”, so to speak.

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