Doomed-Personal Narrative

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Defeated. Dark. Doomed. Before April 11, 2016 . . . that is how I would have described myself to you in three simple words. You might wonder how or why I pinpoint this explanation to one specific date, and I will do my best to walk you through my journey of who I was up to that day.
Depression is a strange, yet comforting company. You might be think I am completely crazy for using the words comforting and depression in the same sentence. Well, here’s another silly fact . . . depression and anxiety were my best friends for a very long time. When I refer to them as comforting or as if they were friends, I’m trying to relay the fact that they were my normal. I would go to sleep hoping I would not see the morning sun; I would wake up and not …show more content…

I noticed that I had been getting sick more and more frequently, and it did not even phase me when I had to stay home from school. That was just one more day to lay in my bed, staring at the walls . . . emotionless. I really started to crash and burn around December of my Senior year, nothing seemed worth it anymore. I had put myself in some bad habits, mostly overdosing on pills such as ibuprofen or any prescriptions we had in the kitchen cabinet. At one point, I had taken around sixty ibuprofen pills, and I loved the ache my stomach felt. It was almost a distraction from my state of numbness. My friends had started to notice the changes in my attitude, but it was funny to them. The over cautious girl turned into the careless one. They would say “drive safe” and I would laugh because I knew I wouldn’t stop at signs, or break for animals or bad weather . . . I wanted to die. My attitude just kept getting worse and worse, I just did not care about what happened in my life; I was in a constant search for happiness which seemed impossible.
April 9, 2016. 10:30 P.M. This is around the time I got home from a night out at the bowling alley with a large group of people. I made way to my comfort zone, my bed. As I lay there all alone, thoughts were flooding my mind: worthless, hopeless, abandoned, lost, broken. My heart was racing twice as fast as my thoughts and I let …show more content…

How can my story tell of someone else? Well, I am here to let you know that none of us would have a story without Jesus. You might feel broken, lost, and confused just as I did. However, this is not the end and you do not have to continue on this way. Jesus Christ provides us with such an unconditional love and a freedom in which our minds cannot even begin to comprehend. Sometimes we just get so caught up in this world and we act on selfish attitudes . . . this happens when we forget the price our savior paid for us. God sent his son to die for us, and unfortunately our world is turning against him. I am here this evening as living proof that Christ is real and still wanting us to follow him and be disciples. No matter how far we push ourselves away from him, he does not stop loving and watching over our lives. I tried to run away from everything, but God made sure I stayed alive and found my way back to him. My life has not been the same for . . . honestly, he gives me a reason to stay alive and keep

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