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Concluesion on effects of divorce on children
Divorce and its affect on children
Divorce and its affect on children
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Divorce is viewed differently by many people. Sometimes this is due to experiences, what others have said, or looking at studies that are not always accurate. However, not everyone can have the same views about marriage ending in divorce. In the article, “No Easy Answers: Why the Popular View of Divorce Is Wrong” by Constance Ahrons she shows her view on divorce. Ahrons believes that divorce does not have long-lasting damaging effects on children (65). Divorce can affect children in the family but the way the decisions are made is what will change the way the kids are influenced.
First of all, opposing viewpoints say that divorce can cause the child to feel like their life is not going to be the same. In contrast, this is not a highly supported statement. One thing that is commonly stated about divorce is, once two married parents with children decide to divorce, that they are no longer a family (66). Although, they may not be living together in the same house it does not mean they are still not a family. No matter what, the parents will always be linked to each other because of the children. Is that not the definition of a family? In addition, assumptions are made that if people are married with kids that they are an ideal family This is not the case, if the marriage is not working out and is only causing problems amongst the parents and kids than that is not considered a family either. Divorce does not cause children to lose their family, if anything it helps to fix them. Moreover, people say that kids feel like their life will have to change drastically because; they will have to lose one of their parents. Divorce does not mean that the children will drop a relationship with one of their parents. Some divorces may be like...
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...e fairly small or big but either way the child is changed in some way. No matter how people view divorce, there is no wrong viewpoint. In the end, the effects are rarely long-term on the children.
In conclusion, divorce is an extremely diverse subject, and it is going to be viewed in a different way by many individuals based on their experiences. Sometimes divorce can be the best thing for the couple as well as the child. If a marriage is only there for the child then that could affect them just as much as a divorce (65). The outcome on how serious the effects are on a child after divorce can vary. It is all revolved on how the parents handle the divorce; what decisions and choices they chose to make will change the way the child is affected. When it comes down to it, “you can choose to see your family as rearranged, or you can choose to see it as broken” (62).
Divorce is something that has been discussed and studied many times, as it is becoming more common in the United States. The children are the main ones being effected by the split relationship, however the amount of impact of the effects are based on many variables. I became interested in this subject because my best friends parents recently filed for divorce and I wanted to understand in what ways was this going to affect him in his life now and in the future.
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
Divorce is a word that everyone knows very well, no matter what the age. These days, everyone knows at least one person that has either been in a divorce or whose parents are divorced. Today, about 50% of all marriages end in divorce('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). Between the time that half of those couples get married and divorced, many of them had children. By 2004, "one in four children lived in single-parent homes"('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). After the divorce, not only are the adults hurting, but the children are also. Throughout the divorce, the parents are caught up in each other, money, possessions, and their own pain that without even realizing it, their children are hurting too. Adults are becoming more careless and think less about how compatible they are to their partners. Some couples have children shortly after the wedding before they adjust to each other. After their children are born, the real problems start to become more relevant. With new problems surfacing and raising children at the same time, it becomes very difficult and divorce sounds like an answer to the problems.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Girgis, George, & Anderson (2011) define marriage as the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. These marriages are intended to last eternity and are partially accomplished by raising children together, yet four of every ten marriages lead to divorce and of these divorces, 35% involve children (Ambert, 2009). Children tend to blame themselves for the divorce and are usually caught in the crossfire. These divorces lead to both stress and depression for children and without a strong sense of family, children will have a huge disadvantage over children with a stable healthy family (Arreola, Hartounian, Kurges, Maultasch, & Retana, 2013). Without the ability to cope with the stress of a divorce, children can be effected in multiple ways including a change in mentality, unacceptable behavioural traits and both short and long term emotional factors that will ultimately lead to a critical issue in child development.
DeBord, K. (1997). Focus on kids: The effects of divorce on children. National Network for Child Care. Retrieved November 3, 2002 from the World Wide Web: http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/effectsdivorce.html
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
Over 60 percent of couples seeking a divorce have children still living at home. ( 6) What some parents don’t realize when they file for a divorce is the great impact that it will have on their kids. Divorce affects children in many ways. It affects kids emotionally and causes them to experience feelings such as fear, loss, anger and confusion. Divorce also hurts a child’s academic achievement. Children whose parents divorce generally have poorer scores on tests and a higher dropout rate. (3)
Divorce is more than just a legal dissolution of a married couple. It is a terminating process that breaks down a family that can leaves devastating consequences with the family. Society’s view on marriage has drastically changed from how it was viewed fifty years ago. Now of days people have easier access to divorce so instead of trying to work out conflicts they find it easier to simply sign some papers and rid themselves of their spouse. With divorce rates as high as they are today it seems as if people are not taking it considerations the potential devastating effects divorce may have on a child. Currently half of all divorces involve minor children (Portinoy, 2008), that is a lot of children
Even though divorce is not commonly thought of as a good thing, it sometimes can have a positive outcome such as the children and parents being happy, and allowing the children to mature. Parents being separated can be better for the kids because they won’t have to deal with the parents fighting. If the kids are put in a better and stable environment it can affect them in positive ways. Sometimes divorce is better for the child if they have been in the environm...