Dan Dreesen's Journey Through Adoption

For Dan Dreesen and his wife, their journey through adoption started in 1999 when they decided to adopt through the state of Missouri. Dreesen says that adopting through the state of Missouri is a bad idea because of the lack of help and services it provides. Tim and Jeff Dreesen are his only children adopted from the North West Missouri area. The Dreesens then decided that adopting through the state of Nevada would be a better choice for them and their family. This was the beginning of Dreesen’s long but exciting journey through adoption that would become one of the most important parts of his life.

Before jumping into adopting children, Dreesen had to take adoption classes for three months, but only for about one night a week. During these classes, Dreesen talked to other parents about what it is like to adopt children who have adopted before. This is where he could learn about what it’s like to adopt children from

parents that actually have adopted children.
Dreesen says that the adoption experience is an emotional one. He and his wife had to wait about a year until somebody said there might be children available for them. When adopting, Dreesen says, “Nobody knows exactly what child they will get regarding mental, physical, learning, or behavioral disabilities.”
After no word from anyone in almost a year, the Dreesens went to an adoption convention in Springfield that had pictures and slides of different children.” Tim and Jeff, now Dreesen’s children, popped up on the presentation. The Dreesens were interested in them, but were told that some other foster parents basically already had adopted Tim and Jeff. Dreesen said they wanted to try for them anyway.
A couple of months later, when they went back to the adoption convention, Dreesen received a call saying that they were chosen to be Tim and Jeff’s foster parents. Dreesen says, “It was crazy because they told us they were already going to go somewhere else, but you could say that we won out over the other family or something like that.” They felt that the Dreesens would be a better-suited family for Tim and Jeff than the other couple because they knew him from his teaching career around the area.
In Dreesen’s words, “The best part of adoption would be when you take in a child and they start to be like your kid.

You have to teach them all of the rules, but you get to have a lot of fun with them, too, and that’s the best part-that you get to experience that feeling of having a child.”

Dreesen mentions that the worst part about adoption is that some children have been moved around from place to place, told that they are part of a family, and then the family sometimes gives them back, putting them back into the adoption system. He says that this is called a “disruption”. Dreesen says that things like this teach a lot of mistrust to the children that can carry on until adulthood. He mentioned that adoption in Northwest Missouri is terrible, and that there are not very many services to help out with the children.

Dreesen says he wouldn’t have done anything differently with regard to adopting children. He does say it gets tough though because they might not show symptoms of problems until later, problems such as anger issues and psychological

problems.
Dreesen’s advice to these considering adoption is, “Do not adopt unless you are willing to go through all the steps that it takes to raise these children, because it’s not easy. “ He also states, “Lots of people think that they will adopt these children and they’ll be so thankful that you are taking them in and saving them from whatever, but in most cases these children don’t want to be saved. They want to be with their biological parents.” He says, “These kids have grown up with their parents being dependent on drugs and alcohol and not being around and so it’s something that they’re used to. When you take them away they usually have a hate for adults that can carry on to the adopting parents.” Dreesen says that in most cases when you adopt a child they aren’t thinking, “Oh this person saved me from my horrible life.”
Dreesen and his journey through adoption and the adoption process have been long and hard, but worth it to him. Even though he knows what his adopted children might think, that he is not saving them from anything, he knows adopting them was the best for them, and that he loves them very much. He would not have changed a thing about it if he had the chance to go back and do it all again.

Dreesen, Dan. Personal Interview. 14 September 2015.