Creative Writing: War Against Ourselves

Ubah Jama P-3
Blair
War Against Ourselves
M I tried my best. I can’t take it anymore. It should have been me. Why Did God took her from me. She was all I had. Now I am all alone. My head feels like it is going to explode. I stay in my room all day, I barely come out. Not even for food or anything. I can’t sleep at night because of her. Bags under my eyes and my skin pale and flushed out. I get hungry sometimes, but I deserve to starve. I haven’t ate a decent meal in weeks, just bread and water. My mom seems worried, but it's all fake concern. They all blame me for her death. I didn’t mean to harm her or did I? I didn’t know she was hurt. It came out of nowhere, I had to swerve. I should have took her to the hospital.
I Could never forget the look she gave me. Her angelic face glowing with innocence as I held her on my lap. “Mom, It going to be alright, don't cry. I love You.” She whispered.
Little did I knew those word would forever be embedded in my heart. Every time I close my eyes, I hear her laughter echoing in the room. I would quickly open my eyes hoping I would see her, but was met with disappointment and quietness.
I just want peace but I can’t have it. I killed her. She was precious and I destroyed her life. I should have thought quicker. If i took her to the hospital faster, she would have been alive.

I try to get better but I can't. I self-admitted myself to Mayday institute couple months after her death, but I couldn't stay. Every time I get a little peace and a bit happier, I see her looking at me with her brown dolly eyes. She haunts me every second. My life's a mess, and I can't control it anymore. I don't have any support, everyone have left me to shatter. My husband ran off to God knows where. He didn't even left me a note or anything. He constantly told me it was my fault. I think he can't deal with me anymore, just like everyone else. It's my