Creative Writing: He Killed Me

2261 Words5 Pages

He raped me. I cringe at the door slamming as he leaves, I hear his heavy footsteps going down the stairs. The clock struck 10:00 startling me and causing me to squeeze my arms tighter than before. I look around my room still processing what happened. Everything's in ruins, I shouldn't have put up such a fight, I shouldn't have made him angry, I know how my father gets. This is all my fault. The shame, the disgust, everything I’m feeling happened because of me. All at once I feel the anger towards him leave my body and seep into the back of my mind. My fists remember to relax, my hands loosen their grip on my upper arm . How can I blame the man when I'm the worthless one. Everything he said was true, I am a waste of space, I am disgusting, …show more content…

I didn't even want her knowing. It's embarrassing, I don't want to be looked at as some fragile being, I’m not, I'm strong. But yet I sit here and feel like I've been done wrong. I felt dirty and used. “I want to take a shower.” I got up and I walked past my mom and up the stairs, I saw my grandma sitting in the living room, I ignored her and just went straight to the shower. After my shower, I went got dressed and talked myself into going to the living room. I could feel the tension in the air, my mom sat smiling eyes red as ever, as for my grandma she sat there with the look of pity on her face. I felt like a freak show, like I was something everyone wanted to see. “Hey baby girl,” my mom said to me, motioning me to the seat next to her. I went over and layed my head on her lap. “What do you want for dinner?” Grandma asks. I didn't know how to feel they were trying to act like everything was normal but it wasn't, there was a huge elephant in the room. I was the elephant. “I'm not hungry.” I said. And silence fell over the room. The rest of the evening we sat in silence watching …show more content…

But I feel like it's a waste of time, she doesn't care. Its her job, all she's gonna do is label me as a mental case and then call it a day. On top of that what I do to my body is my choice. Not hers, not anyone's.
We finish up our appointment with worksheets asking me how I feel and how I cope, and all I can think is I can't wait to go home. When the appointment was over I went home and cried. Thinking about what happened, talking about how I actually feel felt like so much, but it helped. I am not one to discuss my feelings, i believe a truly strong person should be able to handle anything on there own. I can not though, I can't do this. I'm the weak little rape victim who cannot function in society. I have another appointment today, this time i signed myself in and took myself back. I begged my mom before we left the house and the whole way over to not make me go. Once again we started off with small talk then she laid a big question on me. “ Could you ever forgive your father” the question that truly made me think, could i ever forgive

Open Document