Comparing Marriage In Shiloh And Raymond Carver's Cathedral

Essentially, to acquire a healthy marriage, a few keys to success are commitment, good communication skills, trust, and patience. Without these qualities, marriages can immerse in negativity which often leads to divorce. In Bobbie Ann Mason’s “Shiloh” and Raymond Carver’s “Cathedral”, a failing marriage seems to be the similar theme. Both short stories provide instabilities in their relationships and how they lack these fundamental qualities. In “Shiloh,” Leroy and Norma Jean deal with the loss of a child; the grief and unsupportive environment leaves their marriage questionable. In “Cathedral,” the nameless narrator becomes jealous when his wife, who is also nameless, invites an old friend Robert to stay the night after the visitor’s wife

has passed away. His visit eventually exposes the narrator’s view on relationships and how insensitive he can be. Ultimately, both husbands carry a lot of insecurities, lack good communication and do not provide the emotional support needed through hard times which makes their relationships unclear in the end.
In the beginning of “Shiloh,” we learn that Leroy permanently comes home after being injured on the job as a truck driver.

He’s glad to be home but does not know how Norma Jean feels about his homecoming. Leroy questions whether she still has feelings for him or if he is just a constant reminder of their baby, Randy’s, death. He notices Norma Jean picked up on some new hobbies like exercising and he realizes they don’t really know each other anymore. The lack of communication makes Leroy wonder if she will eventually leave him. Instead of trying to see where they stand, he continues to remain discreet throughout the

story.
The narrator in “Cathedral” portrays himself as unsympathetic right off the bat.

His wife’s old friend, Robert’s, wife had died so he came to stay the night before visiting her relatives. When the narrator’s wife tries explaining Robert’s situation, he say’s things like, “Right then my wife filled me in with more detail than I cared to know.” While his wife is good at communicating, the narrator just doesn’t care. Towards the end of the story, another example of his selfishness is when he says, “My wife opened up her eyes and gazed at us. She sat up on the sofa, her robe hanging open. She said, ‘What are you doing? Tell me, I want to know.’ I didn't answer her.” Subsequently, his comment displays his lack of respect towards her and he literally ignores what she asks him.

Insecurities in relationships cause unwanted doubt and anxiety. It creates an unstable partnership that only becomes more destructive the worse it gets. For Leroy, his character relentlessly focuses on how Norma Jean feels about him. While he is confident of his love for her, he is unsure of what she still wants. Leroy is fixated on the idea of building her a log house—one he thought she always wanted. When he discovers that isn’t the case, he panics and tries to think of something else that could help their relationship before it is too

late.
For men, they take their role in a house quite seriously. When another man, especially a stranger, tries to come into their territory, men don’t like it that much. This is the case in “Cathedral”; Robert coming into the narrator’s home isn’t something he is too fond of. The relationship Robert has with the narrator’s wife makes it even worse. He is jealous of their relationship and is uncomfortable that they send each other tapes to communicate with one another. It is obvious that he is insecure about his role as a husband and doesn’t give his wife the emotional connection she gets from her friend Robert.
When someone goes through a traumatic experience, having a support system by your side is vital to help with coping. When Leroy and Norma Jean lose their son to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, they didn’t really help each other get through it. Alternatively, Leroy went to work and left Norma Jean home by herself. Men are usually better at bottling their feelings up inside and ignoring them. However, women tend to excessively think about it and need help dealing with the problem. As a couple, they should have gotten closer because of this experience. Instead, Leroy believes he became a constant reminder of their son’s death now that he is home from work and he feels as if he doesn’t even know his wife anymore.
Things are somewhat similar for the narrator and his wife in “Cathedral.” We discover in the story that his wife was so dissatisfied in her first marriage that she tried committing suicide as a result. Her ex-husband was an officer and she didn’t like how often they had to move and how lonely she felt. This event gives a better understanding of how fragile she is and what she needs in her marriage. The narrator’s reaction to Robert’s blindness and how he basically degrades him shows how the narrator has no true understanding of the important things in life. Talking about Robert’s wife, he says, “And then I found myself thinking what a pitiful life this woman must have led. Imagine a woman who could never see herself as she was seen in the eyes of her loved one.” The narrator believes looks are more significant than what’s on the inside. He praises his wife’s looks rather than giving her what she really needs: support and encouragement.
As you can see, these short stories depict a loveless marriage in their own ways. While “Shiloh” might be more transparent, “Cathedral” hints plenty of ways their marriage might not work out as well. Both have very different plots, although, both couples lack a solid foundation.