Communication Between Men and Women

1345 Words3 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Research on impacts of different cultural backgrounds on communication

Communication Between Men and Women

Communication is a crucial part of our daily lives which can be interpreted in various ways. Although, many couples think they have no problems communicating with each other; however, the issue among genders still exists. Learning to talk and listen can improve relationships in many ways. Therefore, Deborah Tannen, John Gray, Susan Page, and John Gottman focused on improving communication skills between genders.

According to Deborah Tannen, a linguistic professor of Georgetown University, men and women talk differently and sometimes it might be very complex as she stated that many coupes 'grew in diverse cultures.' Men consider communication as a primary language of 'report.' They feel more comfortable engaging in a conversation during public speaking which is more focused on performance. Attention from others usually comes from being on top of any conversation they might have.

On the other hand, for women the language of communication is primary a language of 'rapport' (Tannen 10). Women do better job initiating private conversations between each other in the less crowded environments. Females are more focused on negotiating relationships and comparing them to others. Conversations between the two genders are engaged in different times and the subject of conversation is usually dissimilar.

Author John Grey an inspirational speaker and writer on relationships between men and women, succeed with a book titled ?Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?. According to Grey, women and men speak different languages and hold opposing views. Words in their language might have a different meaning. The way men react to woman?s needs and questions could be misleading for women and vice versa. Gray is able to construct the dictionary that he calls: ?The Venusian/Martian Phrase Dictionary?, where men are Martians and women are Venusians. However, learning phrases that the two genders use on every day basis could improve understanding; the lower the risk of engaging in arguments, could gain an experience of resolving them in proper and peaceful way. Many of people in the world found Grey?s descriptions match their own experiences. According to the Grey, women have to learn about men before developing joyful successful relationship (Gray 21).

When man are upset or stressed they automatically stop talking and g...

... middle of paper ...

...ious techniques suggested by authors could be helpful for a loving and long lasting relationship. This material could be very useful for some, and only practice can bring successful results.

In conclusion, having a perfect relationship is impossible. However, making it successful takes time and hard work.

Works Cited

Gleick, Elizabeth. ?Tower of Psychobabble.? Writing the World. Eds. Charles R. Cooper and Susan Peck MacDonald. New York: Bedford/St. Martin?s, 2000. 74-77.

Gottman, John. ?The two marriages: His and Hers.? Writing the World. Eds. Charles R. Cooper and Susan Peck MacDonald. New York: Bedford/St. Martin?s, 2000. 43-59.

Gray, John. ?Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.? Writing the World. Eds. Charles R. Cooper and Susan Peck MacDonald. New York: Bedford/St. Martin?s, 2000.16-25.

Page, Susan. ?Essential traits of couples who thrive.? Writing the World. Eds. Charles R. Cooper and Susan Peck MacDonald. New York: Bedford/St. Martin?s, 2000. 25-43.

Tannen, Deborah. ?Put Down That Paper And Talk To Me!? Rapport-Talk and Report Talk. Writing the World. Eds. Charles R. Cooper and Susan Peck MacDonald. New York: Bedford/St. Martin?s, 2000. 8-16.

Show More
Related

  • Janie's Perfect Marriage In Their Eyes Were Watching God

    776 Words  | 2 Pages

    Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.

    Read More

  • Analysis Of Deborah Tannen's Talk In The Intimate Relationship

    2089 Words  | 5 Pages

    Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.

    Read More

  • Analysis Of Deborah Tannen's Conversation Style: Talking On The Job

    1077 Words  | 3 Pages

    In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines

    Read More

  • A good man is hard to find paper

    1365 Words  | 3 Pages

    Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing. 5th ed. of the book. Boston: Heinle, 2004.

    Read More

  • The Storm

    764 Words  | 2 Pages

    and Writing. Ed. X.J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. 4th ed. New York: Longman, 2012. 95-100. Print.

    Read More

  • Marital Oppression In The Story Of An Hour by Kate Chopin

    1726 Words  | 4 Pages

    Kearl, Michael C. "Marriage and Family Life." A Sociological Tour Through Cyberspace. 16 Nov. 2005. http://www.trinity.edu/~mkearl/index.html#in.

    Read More

  • Analysis Of Sex Lies And Conversation

    1181 Words  | 3 Pages

    Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication

    Read More

  • You Just Don't Understand

    1363 Words  | 3 Pages

    Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).

    Read More

  • Men And Women Communicating

    1828 Words  | 4 Pages

    Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...

    Read More

  • Observing Gender Communication Differences

    524 Words  | 2 Pages

    Further evidence of communicative differences exist between men and women in various other social settings as well. Consider, for example, those individuals employed in customer service-related Jobs. While in JC Penny, I noticed that female customer service representatives were more apt to offer immediate friendly assistance than the male reps. Men are not as cocky nor as confident in this sort of situation; their eyes tend to dart around the area of the store while the eyes of a women remain focused upon the eyes of the customer. The men seem to communicate with a lot less smiles. Apparently they have to get past a certain “ice-breaking'; point before they will feel comfortable with a genuine look of happiness.

    Read More

  • Differences in Male and Female Communication

    914 Words  | 2 Pages

    ...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.

    Read More

  • Gender Differences in Communication

    2349 Words  | 5 Pages

    Do men and women really speak different languages? Well according to the Men are from Mars and Women from Venus theory, we speak very different languages. The Mars and Venus concept is by John Gray. John Gray offered many suggestions for understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite gender. Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” was the best seller for 6 years in a role. As you can see, people really do believe that men and women communicate in a very different way. But I am not completely convinced. I believe there is more that your gender that plays a role in how you communicate with the opposite gender.

    Read More

  • An Opinion on Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

    850 Words  | 2 Pages

    In order to have a good communication, men and women have to understand and trust one another. In a book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus John Gray shows the differences that men and women have. Also, Gray points out plenty of techniques and ideas that men and women can use to make their relationships much stronger and happier. I argue that John Gray's book is very helpful, informative, and insightful because his guidance helped me to understand my girlfriend's temperament and differences. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is a useful book to read and look into. The information which is provided in the book can definitely help men and women to develop special skills and knowledge which will help their relationships.

    Read More

  • The Genderlect Style Theory

    862 Words  | 2 Pages

    ...or a relationship”. In genderlects, there is no superior or inferior method of communication, but rather, men and women just communicate differently. By understanding these differences, one can reduce the amount of misunderstandings in future conversations.

    Read More

  • Gender And Language

    1139 Words  | 3 Pages

    Essentially, we are all different. We use language differently and interpret language differently. This is what we base our perceptions of others on, thus it is ultimately what dictates our interaction with others. The fact that men’s and women’s interaction differs because the two sexes generally interpret things differently is not a strange phenomenon, because we are all different.

    Read More

More about Communication Between Men and Women

Open Document