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Cohabitation society
An essay on cohabitation
Beddatd.E 2009 The effect of cohabitation in today's society essay
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Cohabitation in Society Today
In today’s society marriage is no longer considered to be a life
binding commitment to one person; as a result, there are surprisingly
high divorce rates. One in every five people get divorced at least
once in their lifetime. Therefore many couples are opting to
cohabitate before deciding on marriage.
Cohabitation can be defined as an intimate relationship in which a
male and female live together as husband and wife without legally
marrying. In order for cohabitation to be successful, each individual
must form an identity of their own first. According to Erik Erikson’s
Eight Stages of Life, one must have a clear sense of who they are
before they are able to share themselves with another individual.
Erikson argues that without a true identity formed relationships would
be shallow.
It has been discovered that youth are entering more serious
relationships at younger ages and are living together at a younger
age. This new trend adds to the sixty three percent of cohabitating
couples who eventually marry. Many young couples decide to cohabitate
before they are mature enough to be accountable for another person. As
a result, these couples add considerably to the number of divorces or
separated couples that have married after cohabitation.
The Family Life Cycle theory describes early adulthood as a stage in
which individuals are launched from their families of origin. Parents
and children must separate from one another in order for young adults
to accept emotional responsibility for themselves.
Many cohabitants are young adult that have never lived apart from the
family origin until now and therefore have not yet had the chance to
gain independence or accept responsibility for themselves. This may
pose a problem to the individual if the cohabitating relationship does
not last. Early cohabitation may hinder a person’s development towards
becoming a self-sufficient independent adult. Failing cohabitating
relationships that do not result in marriage can also cause problems
in an individual’s future relationships if they are unable to fully
trust another intimate partner.
Intimacay vs. Isolation will occur in young adults starting around the age of 20 and go into their 30’s and beyond even. During this time young adults are faced with fears of “will I find a relationships” or “will I be alone forever”. In order for one to for any kinf of intimate relationship, young adults need to be trusting, must be capable of understanding others as well as themselves as person. The crisis that
In her text, she states that cohabitation has become very famous in the United States. Jay also reports that young adults in their twenties see cohabitation as a preventive way to avoid divorce. The perception that she contradicts by pointing out that people who cohabit before marriage are more at risk of divorce because once they are married they become unsatisfied of their marriage, she calls this phenomenon the cohabitation effect. The author also punctuates that the problem of the cohabitation effect is that lovers do not really discuss their personal perception of cohabitation or what it will mean for them. Instead, they slide into cohabitation, get married, and divorce after realizing that they made a mistake. She proves her point by presenting a research which shows that women and men have a different interpretation of cohabitating prior marriage. Furthermore, the author emphasizes her argument by saying that the problem is not starting a cohabiting relationship but leaving that relationship which can be the real issue after all the time and money invested. Finally, Jay indicates that American’s mindset about their romantic relationship is changing and can be illustrated by the fact that more Americans started to see cohabitation as a commitment before
During this stage, Erikson believes that the individual’s successful identity formation relies on social, cognitive and physical maturation (Pittman, Keiley, Kerpelman, & Vaughn, 2011). The individual tries out different roles for who they see in themselves and who they portray to others, eventually committing to their own personal role and occupational choice. Pittman et al. (2011) describe the identity formation as “consisting of decisions, investments, and commitments tied to current and future roles, goals, and relationships.” Additional considerations for identity formation include the context of the culture which is available to the adolescent during this time. After successful resolution of this stage during adolescence, individuals will typically progress into Erikson’s Intimacy versus Isolation stage during young
A person entering their twenties are in for a challenge when they are asked to take on Erickson 's first task of adult life. The first stage of adulthood is intimacy versus isolation where people are searching for a partner also looking for a loving relationship. This can be a very entertaining experience or a very stressful experience for young adults. Both Belsky, Privacy, Intimacy, and Isolation and observation can give a reader many great examples of what it is like to go through this time in life.
Rindfuss RR, VandenHeuvel A. 1990. Cohabitation: a precursor to marriage or an alternative to being single? Pop. Dev. Rev. 16:703 26
This societal acceptance has made it easier for couples to live together without being married. Many of these men and women decide to live together because they consider the cohabitation a "trial marriage." They fe...
Polygamy is defined as “a marriage that includes more than two partners.” There are different types of polygamy, these include: polygyny, where a man has multiple wives, polyandry, in which a woman has multiple husbands, and group marriage, where a family consists of multiple husbands and wives. Of these different types of polygamy, polygyny is definitely the most popular of the three. In America, the practice of any form of polygamy is illegal and due to this law, many adherents of the lifestyle stay hidden ("What is Polygamy?"). Polygamy became an issue in the United States in the year 1852 when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the LDS Church, made it so that plural marriage became a part of its religious doctrine. However, due to the storm of controversy that followed this movement, in 1890 the Mormon Church officially abandoned the practice. The Mormon’s who disagreed with the movement broke away from the Mormon Church and became known as Fundamentalist Mormons. Although the practice was almost unheard of in regions such as the Midwest, Northeast and South, in the Western portion of the United States, polygyny marriage is still prevalent. Those who are found to be practicing the belief are fined and sometimes are forced to split up with the rest of their families. For this reason many remain in the dark about their lifestyle, considering the severity of the consequences ("History of Fundamentalist Mormons"). However, recently many families have come out of hiding and proclaimed to the world that they are a practicing polygamist family, raising the question: is it right for the government to tell people who they can and cannot marry?
Extensive demographic and cultural shifts have taken place over the past few decades that have made late adolescence and early twenties into a new transitional developmental period known as emerging adulthood for young individuals across industrialized societies. Arnett (2000) argues that emerging adulthood is a “distinct period of the life course” that is “characterized by change and exploration of possible life directions” (469). Additionally, a critical area of identity exploration during emerging adulthood is love and romantic relationships. Arnett contends that “demographic changes in the timing of marriage and parenthood in recent decades has led to prolonged periods of adolescence and delayed adulthood transitions” (470). By postponing
Divorce is defined as the ending of a marriage by a legal process or a complete separation between two things. (Divorce) Divorce in our generation is becoming a common concept than it was before in other generations. Roughly around fifty percent of people whom getting married in our generation end in a divorce. Statistics prove that two of five children will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach age eighteen. (Matthews) For different reasons, many couples get a divorce, while having children involved. Many, who are getting a divorce, may think of getting a divorce as a positive way or the best way for the child to get out of the negative environment they were in, while their parents were together. Basically, assuming that if the parents are happy, the children would be happy. In reality, divorce is a serious decision to make and affects the child involved in the situation, negatively. Divorce is hard for any person to cope with, let alone a child to go through. During a divorce, the child/children involved are losing the most important relationship in their life from the two most important people in their life, their own mother and father. The two people upon whom the child is dependent are no longer equally accessible to the child and the foundation of the child’s world is splintered. (Gindes) Divorce causes long-term negative impact on the child involved bringing upon emotional, behavior and social issues.
Marriage is one of those things most women and some men look forward to in life. This generation is different from the rest of the generations before, where you had to get married by a certain age and follow a standard of living. Nowadays everyone has the option of getting married or not. There is so much individuality, and liberty to do whatever we please without lives that we can marry the same sex. Even if a couple does marry and say their vows that should mean so much to them, they are getting divorced the next day. “Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split (New Marriage).” “Around the world, people are marrying later and divorcing often (Sernau).” Now that this epidemic of marriage and divorce has taken place over the last few generations parenting suffers a great deal.
There are three reasons that cohabitation before marriage is beneficial; it allows couples to learn one another and as a team forms an identity, decide if marriage is for you, and lowers the divorce rate.
The debate on whether to get married or stay single has been raging for a long while, with both sides of the coin having their own pros and cons regarding the matter. Many proponents of either marriage or single life have strong individual convictions, and it is difficult to reach a definitive, objective conclusion. Is the married individual happier than his/her single counterpart, or is getting married just a comfort seeking ritual that people believe they have to fulfill at some point in their lives? It is necessary to dissect this issue in the light of four factors: health and other medical factors, the economic and financial factors, mental and emotional wellbeing and lastly, the social factors. According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of Married is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”.
is the most usual in which a man and a woman unite themselves in the
Marriage is traditionally defined as a social institution uniting men and women in special forms of mutual dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining families (Polomeno). At the age of 16, with parental consent, a majority of states will allow marriage. For the couples that marry between the ages of 14 and 17 years of age they are twice as likely to divorce as couples who wait until their twenties (Kecskes). Today the average age of first marriage is 27 for women and 29 for men, but fewer than 8% of women and 13% of men married for the first time at the age of 30 or older (Avins) (Pattern 1A). Couples who marry when they are 18, 19, and 20 tend to be blindsided by many problems that take place during marriage such as unemployment, abuse, unexpected pregnancy, in-laws, affairs and many more (Kecskes.) Youthful marriages are a higher risk factor to divorce instead of couples who wait till they are older because of low income, poverty, and cohabitation before marriage. Around two thirds of couples who marry today are already live together and are known to be less committed in marriage (Koontz).
Young adults think differently than adolescents and they have different views and opinions on things. During adulthood, an individual begins to discontinue their risky behaviors such as having sex without protection, driving recklessly, and playing dangerous sports. On the other hand, some people still continue this behavior while in adulthood but it is not common. Many people believe that the key sign of actually becoming an adult is financially supporting oneself. This step occurs sooner to the students who either do not attend college or do not finish high school. Students which go to college, this occurs to them later on in life. Establishing intimacy is the sixth step in Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, “intimacy versus isolation.” Once a person has established their own identity, they are prepared to establish a “shared identity” (intimacy) with another person. Men and women resolve intimacy issues very differently, for instance, some women establish intimacy by getting married and having children, before they actually establish their identity. Middle-aged women attending college are an example of these