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Analysis of your speech
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Specifically, in the classification essay, “But What Do You Mean?” by Deborah Tannen, she discusses the various types of relationships men and women have with each other. Men and women often react and expect different things from one another, which leads in misinterpretation. For example, categories in romantic relationships such as breakups, responsibilities, and sex. Breakups usually occur in most relationships and there are different ways men and women go about it, such as responsibilities in relationships, which consist of the role men and women play such as who is the man of the house, and how sex which takes parts in many relationships. In many relationship, break ups happen for the most part and there are different ways a man and a women may interpret it. To emphasize, many women usually show and express their emotions which may consist of yelling, arguing, or maybe just crying after a breakup. It seems women are more sensitive to issues that involve breakups, which is why this issue might impact them more than the issue might impact men. On the other hand men react very differently. To add, men usually don't express their feeling unlike women, and usually keep to themselves when it comes to relationships. Men usually don't show that they've been hurt or have been through a breakup, they usually feel no …show more content…
Men and women both share different responsibilities in a relationship. Men generally have the responsibility to be the provider mainly the man of the house. They have the duty to make the money, and support support their families. Men feel if they are following those simple directions they are doing everything right, but women believe otherwise. Women feel that men also need to spend quality time on them and their children if they have any. Furthermore, there is also a strong controversy in how women can also strongly contribute even more than
In the story, “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen she talks about men and women having different ways of seeing things. Some of the things she talks about I believe in while the other things I believe that these things aren’t true. In the text it talks about many different things. It says women apologize to much while men don’t, women cannot take criticism as well as men, women say thank you to much where men don’t say thank-you enough, women and men don’t fight the same, women and men have different habits in regard to giving praise, women and men don’t compliment the same, and finally men can take jokes better than women.
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
Deborah Tannen is the author of “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other”. Tannen is a linguist who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research, but has information published in several books and essays about this topic. Her research includes talking with several of groups and collecting data on the behalf of their response. In her essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,”Tannen argues that complications arise in marriages and relationships because individuals are not able to communicate with members of the opposite sex.
But as Lorber discusses, gender roles change. I imagine my parents would be having a very different conversation with me had I been raised in the 50’s (pp. 50). Even so, the division of labor in my relationship is gendered. While my boyfriend and I take turns cooking, I usually clean and do laundry and he fixes things around the house. When one of us does something outside of our gendered expectations we expect special praise. I expect people to be impressed when I inform them that I take care of my
... are in an unpleasant situation while women do not (Crawford and Unger). As men tend to be more uncomfortable, they prefer to simply reduce their physical reactions by not wanting to deal with problems. Thus, the responsibility of keeping a healthy relationship may fall under a woman’s duty.
Deborah Tannen once stated, “[Women] didn’t have the freedom to be unmarked” in There is No Unmarked Woman” (par. 34). I do agree with Tannen’s statement, that contemporary women’s freedom has not improved. As a teenager in today’s society, I’ve often fell victim to the stereotypes. A marked woman is a woman placed into a particular category. In “There is No Unmarked Woman” by Deborah Tannen, she claimed that every style available to women was marked (as a judgment). Men have the freedom to be unmarked, because their physical appearance is not as judged as women’s. Tannen mentioned, “Some days you just want to get dressed and go about your business. But if you’re a woman, you can’t,” (page 15).
There are social barriers that prevent the equality between women and men, but the principal obstacles are created by women as Sheryl Sandberg mention, "... women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves"(8). Women and men are the same; they have the same capabilities and limitations. People are in charge to remark gender differences, and the first difference is marked for the same women when they assume or agree to stay behind for convenience or for lack of courage. For many women, it is convenient to stay behind a man because they make other responsibilities a priority such family. Also, some women do not consider themselves enough capable for a high responsibility, so they prefer remind behind for a long time. Another mistake created by women is when they educate a man believing that he is superior to women. Thus, there are differences, but they will exist until women recognize their contribution to the negative grow of
It is common that the woman nurtures of the children, makes the meals and does the laundry, but it is becoming more common that the man now aides in those roles. As I was reading Gray’s article I envision something from 1950 when the wife did not work, stayed home and took care of the children. Having 3 dogs in our house we both share the responsibility for them. If the food bowl is empty you fill it, if the water is empty you give them water, if they need to go outside you let them out, the same goes with our horses or other chores on the farm. We have no gender roles in our house, if something needs to be done, just do it. When we built our house we worked side by side, I did everything he did, it was a joint effort. Everything around the house is a joint effort except I do fix the meals because I enjoy it. Maybe being raised where there were no gender roles because everyone worked even my mother so it’s common to pitch in and do whatever needs to be done. If this is true, then that would mean communication is not in the DNA or gender but it’s a learned behavior. My sister’s husband cooks most of the meals in their family and cleans the house, another example of learned behavior which goes against Gray’s gender role philosophy of men and women. The most important part of a relationship is being compatible and knowing that you are not going to change your partner’s
‘’ Complaints from women about their husbands most often focused not to tangible inequities such as having given up the chance for a career to accompany a husband to his, or doing far more than their share of daily life-support work like cleaning, cooking,
Men have assumed a more aggressive and dominant role “Many traditional gender-based stereotypes are widely accepted in our society. Someof the prevailing notions about men maintain that they are aggressive” (Crooks and Bauer, 2014: p 134), whereas, woman are supposed to nature and run the household “Women are frequently viewed as nonassertive, illogical, emotional, subordinate, warm, and nurturing (Crooks and Buaer, 2014: p 134). However, in today’s society gender equality has become a more common practice where both sexes take on masculine and feminine roles to in every day life “Research suggests that women are less entrenched than men in rigid gender-role stereotypes and are more inclined to embrace positions of equality with men (Ben-David & Schneider, 2005)” as cited in (Crooks and Bauer, 2014: p 135). Due to ability to work from home, woman have accepted a modern role of holding a career as well as raising a family and men are seen working and helping out with regular house hold chores. People are beginning to conform to are less traditional view, but in my personal experience woman still hold a more traditional role and men are still the primary providers for a family. Women tend to be stay at home moms and only work part time jobs, while men establish a career and focus primarily on their work. In smaller communities this seems to be more of a
Some men were taught at an early age to believe that a woman’s place is in the house. However, things have changed over the years, and more women are now working. And the men are expecting the woman to continue doing everything around the house without offering their help. This will create a stressful atmosphere because the woman is now overwhelmed. She is overworked because her partner sits in the “big chair” and waits for her to pick up the children, fix the dinner, give them a bath, and then take care of him. The woman puts his dinner on the table, and serves him this favorite beer.
A gender role attitude is an individual’s interpretation and expectation on how a woman or man should behave. These assumptions create a socially accepted “norm” about each gender. In various lectures, we examined three common gender role ideologies; traditional, egalitarian, and transitional. A traditional gender role would fit into society’s fundamental outlook on a household. An individual holding this view would believe that men should work and earn money for the family, while women stay at home to do house work and take care of the kids. An egalitarian position believes that both women and men should equally distribute responsibility throughout every situation they are faced with. This would include dividing duties up evenly despite what type it is (more strenuous chores vs. easy chores). A transitional approach combines the traditional and egalitarian approaches together. A couple who practices this attitude would split up the tasks equally but in a way that still views men as holding the majority of the “household” power. For example, women would do the dishes and clean the house while men would cut the lawn and fix the car because those jobs are “more difficult”.
Men and women have always had their differences, but do those make their lives easier compared ? Both sexes have certain aspects to overcome the opposite sex, yet neither is better than the other. A woman comes into the world and is expected to act certain ways, to follow certain rules, and to be as feminine as she can just be, otherwise man comes into the world and is expected to be strong and being able to do everything only because he is a man. The idea of getting together and planning to become a family should equal both men and women, family is something that both should speak and express their oppinions. Though often times happen when man and woman meet each other, and they feel some kind of feeling that they are born for each other, something that we often called our second half. However after some years of marriage one of the partners feel that he or she isn't loved enough as he/she used to be, and many kinds of contradiction come along. The reason why partners don't get along and understand each other the way they used to is various.The fact that men and women are different is well known. Some of these defferences are constant and some are not, some have changed in the past and some are about to change in the future. Women are very emotional and communicating creatures, though men are more realistic and problem solvers,that's the reason why they have different conceptions of family life and relationship.
Indeed, going through a painful break-up is not as easy as it may sound. The feeling of being dumped, betrayed and brokenhearted could shut down your emotions. It may even magnify your fears and cause you to swear not falling in love again. Worst is, it will make you generalize and label person of the opposite gender to be all worthless your time and attention. Are you that person who is still stuck with the remnants of the past? Do you see yourself a captive who is constantly reminded of the memories you once have shared? Do you find yourself...