Blended Family Case Study

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Recommended: Trials and tribulations of the blended family

Storyline: A couple discovers they 're in love and they decide to get married. Their rose-colored glasses are quickly lost when they are sucked into stormy stepfamily seas within a week of setting sail.

TV shows like The Brady Bunch or Dog with a Blog show examples of happily blended families, but parents and step parents in real life might feel like their ships are sinking. Becoming a blended family requires flexibility, forgiveness, and lots of patience!

Understanding the stages of stepfamily development, framed by Dr. Patricia Papernow[1], can help. Using Dr. Papernow 's framework and observations from my professional practice, let’s see what these stages might look like with our movie cast: Jack and Jill Smith, the biological parents, …show more content…

His firstborn is in high school and is only a few months younger than Jill’s son. Jack sees his son often and has a solid co-parenting relationship with his mother and stepfather. On the other hand, he has a high-conflict relationship with his youngest children’s mother. She left him but has not emotionally let him go. She doesn 't want to share decision-making responsibilities – it 's her way or the highway. She insists on cash payments for child-support, frequently disrupts plans, and tells the children lies that have a bit of truth. It has been a rough road for Jack and for Jill.

After several run-ins during lunch in the cafeteria, Jack asks Jill on a date. A year later, Jill is sure her son will love Jack and Jack 's thinking is...since the boys are so close in age, he will have two sons to hang out with during football season. Jack and Jill open the sails for their stepfamily journey and they tie the knot. The early weeks are joyous and stress-free.

Stage Two: Immersion
In this stage, fantasy and reality collide. Children may feel guilty about liking their step parents and they may back away from them. Step parents can feel rejected or out of place and biological parents may feel like they 're caught in the middle.
The kids seem to be okay with the new family setting – until Jill’s son’s tongue burns her heart one morning with verbal flames...
Quote

Mom, where does Jack get off telling me what I need to do and calling me

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