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Trials and tribulations of the blended family
Family dynamics within blended families academic paper
Trials and tribulations of the blended family
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Recommended: Trials and tribulations of the blended family
Storyline: A couple discovers they 're in love and they decide to get married. Their rose-colored glasses are quickly lost when they are sucked into stormy stepfamily seas within a week of setting sail.
TV shows like The Brady Bunch or Dog with a Blog show examples of happily blended families, but parents and step parents in real life might feel like their ships are sinking. Becoming a blended family requires flexibility, forgiveness, and lots of patience!
Understanding the stages of stepfamily development, framed by Dr. Patricia Papernow[1], can help. Using Dr. Papernow 's framework and observations from my professional practice, let’s see what these stages might look like with our movie cast: Jack and Jill Smith, the biological parents,
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His firstborn is in high school and is only a few months younger than Jill’s son. Jack sees his son often and has a solid co-parenting relationship with his mother and stepfather. On the other hand, he has a high-conflict relationship with his youngest children’s mother. She left him but has not emotionally let him go. She doesn 't want to share decision-making responsibilities – it 's her way or the highway. She insists on cash payments for child-support, frequently disrupts plans, and tells the children lies that have a bit of truth. It has been a rough road for Jack and for Jill.
After several run-ins during lunch in the cafeteria, Jack asks Jill on a date. A year later, Jill is sure her son will love Jack and Jack 's thinking is...since the boys are so close in age, he will have two sons to hang out with during football season. Jack and Jill open the sails for their stepfamily journey and they tie the knot. The early weeks are joyous and stress-free.
Stage Two: Immersion
In this stage, fantasy and reality collide. Children may feel guilty about liking their step parents and they may back away from them. Step parents can feel rejected or out of place and biological parents may feel like they 're caught in the middle.
The kids seem to be okay with the new family setting – until Jill’s son’s tongue burns her heart one morning with verbal flames...
Quote
Mom, where does Jack get off telling me what I need to do and calling me
Now, the number of ex-stepfamilies is increase so fast. Gootman (2012) focuses on those families or blended families who have gone through a divorce. She had done several interviews with people who stay in stepfamily to find out the answer for question “How do they deal with ex-stepfamilies?” The interview results shows that most people do not keep closed relationship with their ex-stepfamily member. Another survey result by the Pew Research Center shows that the second marriages have higher divorce rate than the first marriage (Ch 13, P415). Some of them broken their new relationship because their partner’s ex-steps. In the college students opinion, some of them never thinking let their stepparent be part of family; some of them considered let their stepparents to be...
...e on her part. Throughout the story, the Mother is portrayed as the dominant figure, which resembled the amount of say that the father and children had on matters. Together, the Father, James, and David strived to maintain equality by helping with the chickens and taking care of Scott; however, despite the effort that they had put in, the Mother refused to be persuaded that Scott was of any value and therefore she felt that selling him would be most beneficial. The Mother’s persona is unsympathetic as she lacks respect and a heart towards her family members. Since the Mother never showed equality, her character had unraveled into the creation of a negative atmosphere in which her family is now cemented in. For the Father, David and James, it is only now the memories of Scott that will hold their bond together.
No matter what actions or words a mother chooses, to a child his or her mother is on the highest pedestal. A mother is very important to a child because of the nourishing and love the child receives from his or her mother but not every child experiences the mother’s love or even having a mother. Bragg’s mother was something out of the ordinary because of all that she did for her children growing up, but no one is perfect in this world. Bragg’s mother’s flaw was always taking back her drunken husband and thinking that he could have changed since the last time he...
The beginning of Janie’s marriage to Joe shows promise and adventure, something that young Janie is quickly attracted to. She longs to get out of her loveless marriage to Logan Killicks and Joe’s big dreams captivate Janie. Once again she hopes to find the true love she’s always dreamed of. Joe and Janie’s life is first blissful. He gives her whatever she wants and after he becomes the mayor of a small African American town called Eatonville, they are the most respected couple in town. Joe uses his newfound power to control Janie. When she is asked to make a speech at a town event, she can’t even get out a word before Joe denies her the privilege. He starts making her work in the store he opens and punishes her for any mistakes she makes. He enjoys the power and respect her gets when o...
In this millennial it is very common to see a divided family. People get married, discover their differences and often divorce. Yet, with divorce comes many decisions and often a messy outcome. While this may take a toll on a family, remarriage is another issue of it’s own. “Step parents” is what they call them; although no one is quit sure what the word “step” truly insinuates. The sacristy of a marriage and the bond of a family is metaphorically protected by the beamed structure of a home. It isn’t until you read “Stepdaughters” by Max Apple that you catch a glimpse of the interior complications and obstacles, divorced families often face. The author seamlessly paints the very common mother and teenage daughter tension many families endure. Yet, the story is uniquely told by “stepfather number three trying to stay on the sideline” (132). The author focuses on a few issues that a family (divorced or not) may face: overbearing control, lack of trust, and unwanted change. He does this, by use of temporal setting – the dreaded teenage years – and situation – the exhausted disagreement between the mother and daughter.
In attempting to understand the blended family system, one would be remised if we did not first look at, and understand primarily what a family system dynamic is. Unfortunately, this is a theory that once had very clear cut lines; today those lines are a little burred and more subjective than ever before. Given that the family is an ever changing system with fluid boarders, this author will illustrate some finite distinctions that may separate the typical family system from a blended family system. Family systems have been studied since psychologists began studying people and their behaviors.
The first major event in Jack's life that greatly affected him as a human being was his parent's divorce, which led to his father leaving when Jack was only six years old. Jack's mother explained to him that his father wasn't dead but that he might think of him as dead, and that the reason he left was because he didn't love her anymore, an answer that is not quite the truth, as Jack will discover later on. Six-year-old Jack's answer to this is simple - "I love you Mother.
The family I chose to interview is a blended non-traditional family. There is a mother and her 6 kids. The kids come from two different guys that the gal was married to and a boyfriend that she has lived with in the past. The boyfriend still spends some nights with her.
Within his book The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, Ron Deal (2014) presents a realistic approach to strengthening stepfamilies through focusing on each individual family member’s needs. Real-world scenarios along with integrating family therapy and biblical truth are used in exploring the many issues that stepfamilies resolve. The crux of Deal’s advice is the need to modify expectations from forming a rapidly blended family to integrating a slow-cooked approach that allows for the time and the coarse hardships that are experienced in developing a healthy stepfamily relationships.
Ann could not manage time effectively because of excessive number of daily tasks, and 24 hours’ time limit. Due to her husband’s extremely busy work schedule, they also cannot spend enough and consistent time together. His schedule also force her to accomplish all household duties by herself like single parent:
Janie was a woman who was idealistic and young at heart. Her nanny married her off to Logan, an older man. Finding life tedious and unfullfilling with Logan she left him for another guy named Joe. Janie thought Joe loved her, he didn't. Janie was a nieve woman, at the time, and she stayed with Joe for twenty years. During their marriage, Joe belittles Janie
...who is the same age, has a job, and getting married. She is also concerned her son will not be a credit to society. Krebs only withdraws more because of his mother. The father in the story is distant and a stock character. He is there but not an influence on his son’s life and only spoken of though the mother and her comments. Krebs has a sister named Helen in the story, she likes baseball, and he is very fond of her. She is a stock character and there as support to the family environment and setting of the story.
Jim and his mother walk to Mr. Trelany’s house to tell him the news but the maid that answers his door, tells them that he is over the squire’s house. After the joy and excitement of the people that were going on this journey they found a ship and a couple new experienced ship mates.
Janice receives multiple phone calls from staff at Alex’s school to come pick him up and take him home. He isn’t purposely being disruptive, he’s excited and eager to learn and sometimes the teachers don’t understand that, says Janice to herself. For Janice to always be “on-call” to collect her son definitely makes it difficult for her to hold down a steady job.
Single parenting results from the death of a partner, divorce or even a break-up of a couple which leaves one with the responsibilities of being a single parent. According to the American Psychological Association (2017), cases of single parenting have increased for the past two decades, and is seen today more than ever before. The latter ranges from a family headed by a father or mother alone and in some cases a grandparent taking care of the grandchildren. In a single-parent household, life can prove stressful for both the adults and the children, and children in these circumstances are prone to a life of crime.