Embracing Challenge: My Solo Ensemble Journey

About a month into my senior year we had to compete in a voice contest called solo and ensemble. I hadn’t even looked at the sheet music or listened to the track I had to sing until around December. Once I finally decided to look at it, I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to practice music like that on my own. The title was “I wonder as I wander” and I definitely felt like that described how I was dealing with this situation. I decided to seek help from my choir director and ended up rehearsing twice a week during my lunches. Each rehearsal was a milestone for me, I hit the high note I couldn’t and got down the rhythms and breathing. The contest got closer and the closer it got, the more I wanted to back out.

I gained some motivation from my mom who won all ones all four years she competed in high school. (One being the best you can get, five being the lowest) I decided that I needed to push myself so I did. I began practicing with my disc in the car and going to extra rehearsals. About a month before

the contest, my choir director brought in the accompanists that were going to be playing with us. I was assigned to Mr. T, our usual accompanist so we already built a relationship. Our first rehearsal came around and I was scared because I had never practiced the entire song start to finish in front of anyone before. It took a couple restarts and reassurance before I finally sang through it without stopping but once I did it felt great. I felt like I knew what I was doing and I honestly thought I sounded pretty good.
Next thing I know, it’s a week until contest and I’m freaking out. We’re rehearsing without music so I have no crutch, all I have is my memory. The day of contest is here, I get up at 5am to be ready by 6am and grab a nice big cup of coffee to calm my nerves and soothe my throat before heading to the Atascocita high school where the contest is held. I walk in and see at least 100 teens with headphones in and sheet music out. I hear the humming of different songs; some are the same that I am performing. I sit down with the rest of my choir and realize that I forgot my earphones at home. I borrowed a pair from my friend who wasn’t using them and began to go over my song. I was tapping my foot to the music and humming the words in my head trying to hum the highest note.
The choir president came up to me and said “okay jaleen it’s almost your turn lets go to the room”. So I follow her to the room and there’s multiple rooms but I see the one where my director and three fellow choir members are standing. I start anxiously pacing back and forth while quietly humming my song. My heart is racing, I don’t know what to do and I’m scared I might freeze up. The person before me goes in and I’m thinking “oh crap it’s almost my turn what do I do”. Part of me wanted to just blow this popsicle stand but that would mean I was a coward and I would receive a zero for a test grade. So I stand there waiting and finally the person comes out and it’s my turn.
My knees are weak and my hands are sweating but I reach for the door and walk into a huge room.

I look to my right and see my accompanist, Mr. T. I look straight ahead and see the judge, Mrs. Houston who happens to be a very well-known and prestigious choir director. Mrs. Houston looks at me and says “okay I am ready when you are”. I look at Mr. T and nod for him to begin playing. I sing the first line “I wonder as I wander” and my voice is shaking very noticeably. I continue singing and make it through the song and I think “man I just got myself a 4 rating”. I walk out of the room and everyone asks how I did but I just shrugged my shoulders. My friends and I are finally able to leave and since we are President and Vice president we text our choir director to get our scores before everyone else. The phone rings and the message says “Lauren: 1 Jaleen: 1 Josh: 2”. I screamed because I was so excited and I called my mom to tell her how proud of myself that I

was.
I was so scared of singing in front of a judge alone for the first time but I did it and I scored a one. I learned that you can never let the fear of failing keep you from trying.