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Secure attachment and its effect on adult relationship
Essays on attachment styles
Essays on attachment styles
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Attachment is a physiological connection (emotional) that involves one enjoying care, comfort and pleasure of the other. This has a major impact in our romantic and relationship lives. There are three main attachment styles in which one can decide his/her type according to the description offered. They are secure attachment style, avoidant attachment style and ambivalent attachment style. Understanding our styles is very important as it helps us be aware of our strengths and vulnerabilities in relationships so as to find ways to make our relationships work (schultheiss, D. P, 1995). I believe to have the secure attachment type. Naturally I have experiences of long-term relationships build on trust and mutual understanding with my partner. Also, I have no problem sharing my inner feelings with people in my life and moreover, my self-esteem is high. Enjoying my intimate relationship and in case of problems in my life am able to comfortably seek social support. Another characteristic in my life that proves this is the fact that I am not …show more content…
Although attachment to our parents when we were young doesn’t necessarily define our ways of attachment as adults, my style was influenced primarily by my parents (Collins, N. L, 1998). According to attachment theory, sensitive and caring parents are key to development of a secure attachment with their children (Ainworth et al, 1967). My parents were responsive to my needs and helped me in having open interactions with other people. Openness and honesty were the main pillars of the relationship between my parents and me. I was able to maintain this style throughout my adolescence as I always tried to be a stronger and a better friend to my friends and also understand my partner in all ways possible. Any influence to change in my style was always unsuccessful as my parenting was strong and I personally believed in ensuring a healthy relationship in my
Attachment theory could be considered one of the most important aspects of how we develop starting out as an infant. In the article “Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships” By: Bethany Saltman, she explains to us her personal experience and struggles raising her daughter, and her experience as a child and her own attachment. There are three types of attachment types, secure, avoidant, and resistant and the trouble with today is that only 60% of people are considered “secure”. There also subgroups that are called disorganization. Attachment will often pass generation to generation, so it is likely that if someone has an insecure attachment because of the way they were raised they will struggle to create a secure attachment for their own children. Although it can be reversed and changed with the
Europe, and of type C in Israel and Japan. One Japanese study also showed a complete absence of type A. If the Strange Situation is to be considered valid, infants who are classified as securely attached should be better adjusted both socially and emotionally in later life.
Fox (1995) poses that it is possible that early childhood attachment does not influence adults’ minds relative to attachment. He also is hesitant to agree that parental sensitivity is a valuable aspect that is potentially “transmitted” to offspring.
The first stage of the cycle is the man experiences rejection by his current partner. The past experience of rejection by the man's previous attachment relationships will be able to detonate by contact with his current partner's behaviour of rejection. Brown et al. (2010) pointed out that previous experiences of rejection weaken a man's ability to cope with present rejection. Such experiences include excessive rejection, punishment, neglect and abandonment. According to Bowlby's attachment research (as cited in Bretherton, 1992, p. 769), repeated threats of rejection may lead to excessive separation anxiety. Thus, an anxiously attached man tends to be the one being rejected or abandoned several times by parents or previous partner in his past life experience. Substantial research has been carried out which indicated a link between attachment style and man's abusive behaviour (Brown et al., 2010). Other than that, a man received excessive punishment during their childhood is more likely a troublesome individual (Fergusson & Lynskey, 1997). Therefore, when a m...
Criticisms of attachment theory have come mainly from the feminist schools of thought since the theory has been used to argue that no woman with a young child should work outside the home or spend time away from her baby (Goodsell and Meldrum, 2010). Children’s experience and development also depend on what happens after early years, whether bad or good later in life may change a child’s emotional development, e.g. lack of basic needs, diet, education, stimulation such as play might affect a child’s development (Rutter, 1981) Difference in cultures have to be taken into consideration as well. A study by Schaffer and Emmerson (1964) provided contradictory evidence from Bowlby’s attachment theory. They noted attachment was more prominent at eight months, and afterwards children became attached to more than one person. By one year six months only 13%of infants had one attachment. This study by Schafer and Emmerson (1964) concluded care giver can be male or female and mothering can be a shared responsibility. Social workers should therefore understand that parents are not totally responsible for the way the children develop. They did give them their genes and therefore do have some influence. Attachment theory also fails to consider the fact that the father and siblings, and other close relatives can also
The first topic that came up in the interview relates to idea of attachment theory. Attachment theory explains the human’s way of relating to a caregiver and receives an attachment figures relating to the parent, and children. In addition, the concept explains the confidence and ability for a child to free explore their environment with a place to seek support, protection, and comfort in times of distress (Levy, Ellison, Scott, and Bernecker, 2010, p. 193). Within attachment theory explains different types of attachment styles that children experience during early childhood. These attachment styles affect the relationships they continue to build in adulthood. The best attachment style happens when the parent is attuned to the child during his or her early childhood called secure attachment (Reyes, 2010, p. 174). In order for complete secure attachment, the child needs to feel safe, seen, and soothed. Any relationship that deviates from this model represents the anxious or insecure attachment. This means that parents or caregivers are inconsistently responsive to the children. Children who have these parents are usually confused and insecure. Some children experience a dismissive attachment where they
Following the above line of research, Mikulincer and Florian (2000) demonstrated that attachment style influences the way people react to death reminders. For instance, secure persons reacted to mortality salience with a higher desire for intimacy in romantic relationships, while individuals who scored high on the anxiety or avoidance component reacted with harsher punishment for social transgressors. These findings imply that secure persons react to death reminders by relying on their attachment relationships. In contrast, persons scoring high on either avoidance or anxiety dimension tend to rely on other defense mechanisms.
Admittedly, many psychologists define attachment as an enduring affectionate bond that one person forms between himself and another person throughout life. Since Mary Ainsworth provided the most famous research: strange situation, offering explanations how each individual differences in attachment. However, in this Adult Attachment Style questionnaire that I took, I found many factors relevant to attachment as it was defined in the textbook. For example, in the textbook, it defines attachment based on Ainsworth research, the strange situation by observing attachment forms between mother and infants. Which they are described in four attachment styles: securely attached, insecure avoidant, insecure resistant, and insecure disorganized. The questions on the questionnaire were based on those areas to determine my style of attachment.
...ors throughout the study. The authors aim to convince the general audience that there is a connection between the attachment theory and adult romantic relationships that should be considered throughout other studies and research. In the study, there were no sex differences obtained in three attachment styles, nor in the background questions; authors assume that conditions are generally the same between both sexes. While the data supports the position, attachment styles correlate with adult love relationships, the different conditions of both sexes are not considered within this study which affects the reliability of this data and what it supports. Additionally, the studies data was immensely accumulated from questionnaires, biased results could have been created based off the questions that were asked or the current situation or mood the subjects were experiencing.
While people contain different attachment styles, their practice of either negative or positive maintenance behaviors originate from. However, depending on the utilization of these behaviors can determine the satisfaction within the romantic relationship. As the study demonstrates, the more negative maintenance behaviors are practiced the more likely dissatisfaction is to occur in the relationship. These behaviors though depend heavily, though, on the perception an individual has of themselves, but also others. Simply, when positive outlooks of the self as well as other is a practiced mindset, then the more comfortable an individual will be performing positive social skills in maintaining relationships. Thus, making a connection between attachment style and relational maintenance behaviors. As Bolkan and Goodboy, state attachment is a vital framework for conceptualizing how romantic partners maintain their relationships (329). It was found from the results of this study, individuals with a secure attachment style are less likely to practice negative maintenance behaviors. Conversely, dismissive and fearful-avoidant individuals display more negative maintenance behaviors through the representation of jealousy, avoidance, infidelity and not allowing control of the partner in the relationship. However, these results
that person’s sense of trust and level of intimacy, and collected from self-report data. Self disclosure is reflected in actual behavior and can be measured through observation of a person’s situations such as the initial stage of a group. Attachment research has shown that secure attachment contributes to subjective well-being, high self-esteem, high self-efficacy, self-control, and well-adjusted interpersonal behavior. Insecure attachment seems to be organized around two basic dimensions: avoidance and anxiety-ambivalence. Avoidant adults tend to be uncomfortable about and have difficulties being close to and trusting others; anxious-ambivalent adults want closeness to others, worry that others do not love or want to be with them, and sometimes scare others away with their intense need for closeness.
Psychologist, Mary Ainsworth expanded upon Bowlby's original work. She conducted a study labelled the ‘Strange Situation’. In the study, based upon the children’s reactions, Ainsworth described three major styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment. Work by Stroufe and Waters in 1977, further supported Ainsworth's attachment styles and have indicated that attachment styles also have an impact on behaviours later in life (Birns, 1999, p. 13). Researchers have found strengths in attachment patterns established early in life can lead to a number of outcomes. For example, children who are securely attached as infants tend to develop stronger self-esteem and better self-reliance as they grow older. These children also tend to be more independent, perform better in school, have successful social relationships, and experience less depression and anxiety (Birns, 1999, p. 13).
The attachment style questionnaire is a series of questions to decide your attachment in your relationships.
Attachment styles of Secure individuals are described as passionate and selfless. They have high levels of intimacy, passion and are very committed and able to be trusted. This reminds me of the perfect girlfriend. I don't see a lot of jealously and bizarre head games coming from a secure person. They are highly self confident and low on self consciousness with their partner. They tend not to fear being close to another person and yet are not likely to go out of their mind when things don't feel right. Avoidant people are known for their head games. They tend to be low in terms of intimacy, passion and commitment. This reminds me of a relationship my roomate has with his girlfriend.
As developmental psychologists, we are taught about attachment styles at a very early stage in our education. By the time we become educated on the different attachment styles, we are often too quick to move on to the next subject of study rather than internalize what we have learned. The attachment styles we develop as children are crucial to many aspects of our life and development and can tell us many things about ourselves through adolescence and adulthood. Attachment in peer relationships, romantic relationships, and family structure can help or hinder portions of our identity development. Attachment can also explain or predict certain behaviors we may see as we age, and any impact those behaviors have on our identity development in adolescence. It is my aim to explain the types of attachment seen in both children and adults and illustrate how they relate to the formation of identity throughout the lifespan. I will then use what I have learned introspectively and relate my findings on attachment styles and identity development to my personal life story for analysis.