Anxiety Research Paper

Anxiety

It’s sleeplessness, night after night,

Because of one thing you said wrong today,

Or last month,

That is still bothering you,

And not letting you rest.

But as soon as you dismiss it,

Another thought creeps in instead,

And now you must address it

for the next couple of hours.

It’s rolling out of bed exhausted,

Because you didn’t get a wink of sleep.

It’s walking through school

With your held lowered in shame.

Not that you have anything to be ashamed of,

But you still are.

You’re ashamed of yourself,

For just walking, breathing,

Living in this moment.

You apologize to everyone and everything,

Because you feel everything is your fault,

Even if it never is.

It’s never daring to look up as you walk,

For fear of accidentally catching

someone’s eye,
And them staring back,
And you panicking.

It’s ducking and hiding in classrooms
Before it’s even time for class.
But when class finally does begin,
You retreat to the bathroom,
Because life is just too overwhelming,
And sometimes,
Often times,
You just can’t handle the world.
It’s sitting in a stall and crying
Because you want to reemerge,
But still cannot breathe,
And wonder if you’re dying.

It’s going home and closing your door,
Finally releasing your emotion and crying.
There are no more good days;
All of them are rocky.
It’s feeling nothing as you curl up in bed,
As all your emotions are gone.
It’s sleeping restlessly,
As you got no sleep the night before,
And being tortured with fevered nightmares of the day.
It’s rolling out of bed still exhausted,
And sometimes wishing you hadn’t awakened.