Analysis Of Marriage

Relationship Analysis

My fiance and I display a mixture of relationship styles, both traditional and independent. Devito states in “Messages” that a traditional couple “sees themselves as blending of two persons into a single couple” (p.22), and an independent couple sees themselves as relatively androgynous (p.22). For example, we have a traditional view of marriage and how a couple acts in the marriage--we have a biblical view of things. However, because we are students, we tend to be independent from one another. He is involved in many things at school that I am not involved in, and vice versa. We have different majors, but we will share a home and a life together, and I think it will be interesting to see how we balance our personal lives with our married lives.

Josh and I have been engaged for about three months now, and our wedding is in less than three months. We met in high school and dated for four and a half months before the proposal; our wedding date marks year five. The relationship started out as a friendship during our freshman year, but it blossomed into a romantic one the following summer. We did everything together, shared

Our biggest problem in interpersonal conflict is that I tend to shut down when conflict occurs. For example, if Josh happens to say something that hurts my feelings, I stop talking and end the conversation. I usually say nothing is wrong or that I am “fine”, but I’m secretly stewing inside. Also in “Messages”, Devito defines a withdrawer as “perceiving he or she is going to lose, and removes him or herself from the situation” (p.22b). Beina withdrawer hurts our relationship because Josh thinks I give up on him too quickly, and may give up on the relationship. I think Devito’s Management Strategies (p. 24) is the most effective way to help us solve these problems. The biggest hurdle for me will be to “express my