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LONELINESS IN THE AGE OF FACEBOOK
BY: JEFF MAY
In a day and age of a social media dominance, we have never been as densely connected and networked as we ever have. Through studies and researchers, it has been shown that we never have been as lonelier, or even narcissistic. As a result all this loneliness has not only made us mentally ill, but physically ill as well. Published in The Atlantic on April 2, 2012, Stephen Marche addresses this argument in his article entitled “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely”.
Stephen Marche Lets us know that loneliness is “not a state of being alone”, which he describes as external conditions rather than a psychological state. He states that “Solitude can be lovely. Crowded parties can be agony.”
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He uses this to reinforce the theory that’s its not what goes on around you but what goes on in you. He believes that as Loneliness and being alone rise, the number of personal confidants decreases. He tells us that confidants are referred to as quality social connections. By 2004, 25 percent of people had nobody to talk to while 20 percent of people only had one person. Which is a big difference from 1988 which only calculated 10 percent had nobody to talk to. Per Marche, “… the more connected we become, the lonelier we are.
We are promised a global village instead we inhibit the drab cul-de-sac and endless freeways of vast suburb of information.” Though we have a multitude of ways to communicate that are much faster and and newer, we are constantly participating in ways that alienate us from each other and the world around us. Marche describes this as an “epidemic of loneliness”. He discusses the effect this has on our modern society.
Facebook is the current leader in the trend of online segregation of face to face interaction between us and others. 84 million users are registered Facebook enablers. In 2010 Facebook generated $3.7 billion in revenue. Facebook has earned the title of being the first website to obtain 1 trillion page views in a month. Users are estimated to project 2.7 billion likes and comments every day, in the first three months of 2011.
The attraction of users to Facebook, or social media in general, isn’t that difficult to comprehend. Over the course of the past 60 years, the percentage of people live alone has increased by 17 percent. In the 50’s it was 10 percent, in 2010, it was estimated at 27 percent. The promise of a greater connection seems extremely attractive to those living in solitary. Here is the irony, what Facebook and Social media provides, differs a great deal from what is needed to create and sustain deeper emotional AND Lasting
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connections. Social media has provided us with accessibility to find and connect with “friends”. This enable people from across different countries to connect communicate. People that would never “meet” otherwise. You are also able to reconnect with old friends and people that you have lost contact with over the years. Marche mentions a point view by sociologist Erik Klinenberg, Realms of published research show that it’s the quality, not the quantity of social interaction, that best predicts loneliness. So how did this area of isolation occur?
Was it because of Facebook and social media? Or was it because of our own doing and social media has made it easier to do so? If you are unsure, here are couple of things that you want to consider in deciding. More and more people are fleeing big cities to reside I larger “mansion” type of houses. Because of relocation to the suburbs for these individuals, their commute to work is even longer. A longer drive equates to longer periods of isolation in their commute. As Marche discusses in this piece of work, the isolation relocation has been in effect for a while now, we just haven’t paid too much attention to it. For example, cowboys in the earlier days fled their lands and cut their personal ties to acquire that isolation in which they were seeking. In our culture, we strive for individualism and self-expression. Marche explains that when this happens, we tend to distance ourselves from others around us. Therefore, pushing us further away from human connection and isolating ourselves even
more. As its talked about in the article, we Americans are willing to pay the price for/of isolation. That payment usually comes in the form of self-respect, pride, or whatever the case may be. It could very well be that the draw of being alone is just a part of our culture. Which brings me back to the back to the question at hand, Does the internet, specifically Facebook, makes us lonely, or is loneliness something that we ae naturally attracted to? Stephen Marche admits that, no, the Internet and Facebook DOES NOT make us lonely. Stephen says, “the internet and Facebook are just tools that need to be used properly.” Marche lets us know that we create the tools in which we use to drives us further into isolation. We are responsible for own more misery and isolation. Not Facebook or the internet. These are just a byproduct of our desire, as a culture, to isolate. It is easy for any one of us to log in and check out.
The audience can empathize easily with Sue and the death of her youngest and this allows the audience to understand the usefulness of Facebook “friends”; however, Dailey’s shift to present the other side of the argument with Bugeja’s forward truth of the flaws in online social networks. Bugeja convinces the reader that reality provides a more intimate level of support that the virtual world can never offer. Dailey could have ended the article on a stronger note that Facebook “friends” only serves as an additive to friendships to reality. In reference to Henry Adams infamous quote, Facebook “friends” cannot be made but built from existing
The essay by technology reporter for the New York Times, Jenna Wortham, titled, “It’s Not about You, Facebook. It’s about Us” discusses the idea that Facebook has helped shape emotions and now leaves its users emotionless. Although Wortham brings in several sources she does not support these sources with statistics and her personal feelings stand in the way of getting her main points across. In addition, she has a weak conclusion that leaves readers trying to grasp the actual message that Wortham is attempting to convey. Wortham fails to effectively support her thesis that society feels that it can not live without facebook.
In the article “Is Facebook Faking Us Lonely,” author Stephen Marche creates a report on “what the epidemic of loneness is doing to our souls and society.” Marche’s thesis statement is that “new research suggests that we have never been lonelier (or more narcissistic) –and that this loneliness is making us mentally and physically ill” from which he attributes this to social media. Marche’s purpose in writing this article is to persuade readers to think that social media, specifically Facebook, is converting real life relationships to digital unsociable ones, which is causing negative effects to our psyche. The author introduces being alone, something every human craves, is different from loneliness. However, he claims that this digital age
I-Chieh Chen (2015) in The study The Scale for the Loneliness of College Students in Taiwan (http://www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/jedp/article/download/46795/25238) stated that Loneliness was initially studied by Sullivan (1953) (A Peplau, D Perlman, LA Peplau… - Loneliness: A …, 1982 - peplaulab.ucla.edu) who proposed that loneliness was an unpleasant and intense experience related to unsatisfied requirements for intimacy (http://www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/jedp/article/download/46795/25238). Sullivan’s research was all but neglected in his time. This neglect lasted until 1973, when Weiss, an American scholar who was an adherent of Bowlby’s attachment theory, published an article entitled “Loneliness: the experience of emotional and social isolation” (RS Weiss - 1973 - psycnet.apa.org).
In the absence of friends and companions, people begin to ache from loneliness. Loneliness is an unavoidable, fact
One’s amount of Facebook reflects how popular one wish to appear online more than how healthy one’s friendship truly is. Constant usage of Facebook allows user to potentially feel like they have a meaningful social life, when in reality, they are missing something. In Stephen Marche’s 2102 article, “Is Facebook making Us Lonely?” he notes that Facebook was introduced to the world in the midst of spreading and intensifying loneliness, an idea to which he greatly attributes Facebook’s appeal and success (Marche 26). Initially, social networking sites seem to be evidence of modern-day social interaction being easier and more convenient than ever.
As technology progress, humans evolve to the advanced technology and enhance our lives via technology. We connect to our families, friends and others through social media such as Facebook. Social media takes up a huge part in our lives. Social media infest us with information that are relevant and irrelevant to us. Marry Marrow wrote, “It was Facebook that changed the face of e-communication; in fact, it was the first electronic social media” (para 1). She assumes that Facebook is playing a huge role in electronic communication. In the journalist Maria Konnikova, “How Facebook makes us unhappy?”, Konnikova divulges many aspects of people on social media through researching and experience, and finds how social makes us unhappy. I agree with Konnikova findings after reading her article. In addition, she concludes that if you are engaged, active, and creative you will not sorrowful on Social media, however if you are passively browsing and defuse to engage, you
“The Facebook Sonnet” by Sherman Alexie brings up ideas and controversy over social media because it decreases face-to-face communication. Though Facebook allows people to contact old and new friends, it renders away from the traditional social interaction. Online, people are easily connected by one simple click. From liking one’s status to posting multiple pictures, Facebook demands so much attention that it’s easy for users to get attach. They get caught up in all the online aspect of their lives that they fail to appreciate real life relationships and experiences.
In “Is Facebook making us lonely” Marche speaks about Facebook coming at a time where Loneliness was at its peak. He argues that the popularity of Facebook came because it promised a connection that people longed for during the period of peak loneliness. Facebook in his eyes is seen as an outlet for the lonely. The popular social media site helps those who are alone cope because they feel as if Facebook connects them to the world and their “real friends”. While “Love in the age of Like” may contrast those views it does not make any of Marche’s claims inferior or untrue. Ansari simply just offers a different view on the effects of social media and technology overall. Rather than argue on the side of isolation Ansari believes that technology provides a real connection that has never before been offered to society before. In my belief Ansari’s stance holds more weight and is more relatable. Marche’s stance also argues that Facebook does indeed connect us, which is its job. His article and research proves exactly what Ansari is trying to convey to the readers of his own article. One thing that both have taught me through these readings is that Technology can be a double edged sword, it all depends on who is behind the keyboard and also the users intentions. Each author has also taught me that regardless of your opinion the effect of technology on today’s society cannot be denied. The day and age we
Bradbury talks about the loneliness that people who are dependant on technology, feel. After the city was bombed, and the citizens lost all of their electronics, they would have without a doubt, felt lonely. ”We're going to meet a lot of lonely people in the next week and the next month and the next year”(Bradburry 76). While online people like actresses, and musicians, seem like friends now, they actually take time away from socializing with loved ones and meeting new people. Some people, like Mildred, feel very connected to their online families, however, when they have to face the real world they can’t. Nowadays, “People don't talk about anything" (Bradbury 14) Not actually being able to socialize is a problem that modern society is currently facing. As a result of texting and posting, people are not sure how to interact with actual human beings. If you are not able to speak to anyone, you can not thrive in the real world, and this will sadly, lead to
However, in spite of Mary Shelly’s warning, it seems man has gone forward with its creation. Yet the result has not been a world of death and destruction, but a world of connectivity and immediate satisfaction. Sherry Turkle writes “we look to the network to defend us against loneliness even as we use it to control the intensity of our connections” (Turkle, 274). Before the postal system it could take months before hearing from someone across the country. In today’s age a text message contains the same thought of reaching a person thousands of miles away, with the added benefit of instant gratification. This instant gratification, in the eyes of Turkle, “redraws the boundaries of intimacy and solitude,” (Turkle, 272). At face value the boundaries of intimacy and solitude are in fact merely human construction, it is impossible to change the mode of communication without changing boundaries. In this case, while some barriers are constructed between humans physically, many more paths open for human interaction on an intellectual level. Perhaps the future is not the interactions of human physically, but the interaction of minds through a common source, such as the
“I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time –Betty White (“Betty White Quotes,” 2014, para. 1).” This quote can be interpreted to fit with several of the social media avenues that many people spend their time on. Day in and day out people post, tweet, share, and pin countless times throughout the world. These different forms of communication were first created for an easier way for people to connect with others. Yet now, so much time is spent on these social sites that it has warped the interactive part and is causing more damage than good. Many are growing a desire and are living for the amount of “likes” they can receive on a post or how many re-tweets they can generate. Instead of going to these outlets to participate in a partial portion of their social lives, people are filling that time with the technological aspect of communication. As White said, this can become an inordinate amount of wasted time and can ultimately grow into further damaging circumstances. These different social media channels can cause emotional harm through disparaging the relationship between friends, conjuring of a narcissistic personality, and the retrogradation of ones self-esteem.
Facebook can keep you up to date on what is going on around you and around the world. Facebook, along with other social networking sites replace the normal face to face conversations and changes the way we interact with others. One common question that has always been asked when concerning social networking is, “Does it have an affect on one 's psychological well being?” There have been many studies that show that there are both positive and negative effects of Facebook. “Internet causes people to cut off from social interactions by communicating via a socially impoverished medium. The more individuals use FB, the less satisfied they feel about life (Chan 276).” The first study in this article is where they show the relationship between Facebook and how much people use it and how it correlates with their psychological well being. The second study talks about the good and the bad when it comes to Facebook. The third study talks about the empathetic social skills and how it effect those who use Facebook. Then goes on to describe what empathy means, which means the ability to share and understand people and their feelings. And empathy is a good a basis for for good social skills. It is very common for people to portray themselves as someone they are not on Facebook to appear more appealing to their “friends”. They put up
Consider a situation where a family is sitting at the dining table, the son pull out his iPhone, connects to Wi-Fi, and starts chatting with his friends on “Facebook”. The father has a Samsung Galaxy S4 in his hands and he is reading the newspaper online and using “Whatsapp” messenger while having his meal. The mother is busy texting her friends. They are all “socializing” but none of them has spoken as much as a single word to each other. This situation can be commonly seen nowadays. Technology has brought us closer and squeezed the distances but in reality, it has taken us away from each other. The rapid growth of technology has brought about significant changes in human lives, especially in their relationships. The latest technologies have turned this world into a “global village” but the way humans interact with each other, the types of relations and their importance has changed a lot. The advancement in technology has brought us close but has also taken us apart.
Marche, Stephen. “Is Facebook Making us Lonely? (Cover story)”: 8 (10727825) 309.4 (2012): 68. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 Apr. 2014.