Adult Children of Alcoholics

In the United States, twenty million children are experiencing physical, verbal and emotional abuse from parents who are addicted to alcohol. Growing up in an alcoholic house can leave emotional scars that may last a lifetime. This is tragic because we consider that childhood is the foundation on which our entire lives are fabricated. When a child’s efforts to bond with an addicted parent are handicapped, the result is confusion and intense anxiety. In order to survive in a home deficient, of healthy parental love, limits, and consistency, they must develop “survival skills” or defense mechanisms very early in life.
The crippling effects of alcoholism and drug dependency are not confined to the addict alone. The family suffers, physically and emotionally, and it is the children who are the most disastrous victims. Frequently neglected and abused, they lack the maturity to combat the terrifying destructiveness of the addict’s behavior. As adults these individuals may become compulsively attracted to the same lifestyle as their parents, excessive alcohol and drug abuse, destructive relationships, antisocial behavior, and find themselves in an infinite loop of feelings of emptiness, futility, and despair. Behind the appearance of calm and success, Adult Children of Alcoholics often bear a sad, melancholy and haunted look that betrays their quietest confidence. In the chilling silence of the darkest nights of their souls, they yearn for intimacy: their greatest longing, and deepest fear. Their creeping terror lives as the child of years of emotional, and sometimes physical, family violence.
Normally, children learn about intimate relationships through both loving interactions with parents, and effective parental modeling. In alcoholic homes, all relating filters through “the bottle,” with the alcoholic addicted to the alcohol and the spouse and children addicted to the alcoholic.
For Adult Children of Alcoholics, surviving their families becomes the point of existence. The fortunate may be able to draw support from a supportive adult, and may emerge with fewer difficulties than their brothers and sisters. The majority, however, have to “make do.” Some spend lonely hours in their rooms wishing only to vanish behind the woodwork. Others attempt to rescue the foundering vi...

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...e interaction at therapy, God will heal us and restore us beyond our wildest imagination.
As the result of being raised in a home where one or both parents were addicted, children of alcoholics generally have certain common characteristics that continue to affect them as adults. Members of a dysfunctional family tend to build up defenses to deal with the problems of the addicted family member. Common problems include lack of communication, mistrust, and low self-esteem. Adult children of alcoholics often become isolated, are afraid of authority figures, have difficulty distinguishing between normal and abnormal behavior, and judge themselves harshly. This often leads to enduring feelings of guilt and problems with intimate relationships. In many cases, adult children of alcoholics develop an over-developed sense of responsibility, and respond poorly to criticism. They may feel different from other people, fear failure but tend to sabotage success, and fall in love with people they can pity and rescue. Fortunately, there are a number of support groups designed to help adult children of alcoholics identify their problems, and start resolving them.