Adoption And Openness In Adoption

As parents we attempt to make decisions that will benefit our child. The most terrifying thing about parenting is not knowing what the outcomes will be, especially outside of the immediate situation. This is true even in the case of deciding not to parent. When a person chooses to give a child up for adoption, the core of the choice is in some way the thought that the child will be better off being parented by another. This choice is profound and can have many outcomes.

In the world of adoption there is a commonly used term of the adoption triad. The triad includes the birth parent(s), the adoptee and the adoptive parent(s). In America today it is estimated that 95% of adoptions have some degree of openness. This means that the members of

During this time adoptions were done in a closed manner. Meaning that the information of the birth and adoptive parent(s)were kept strictly confidential by the agencies that facilitated the adoption. Birth parents would give non identifying information that would be given to the adoptive parents and later the adoptees if they wished, however nothing could easily allow the triad members to later locate each other without the assistance of the agency was released. The logic behind this was to protect the birth parents, more so the mother, usually from the societal shame of being unwed, giving her the freedom to put the past behind her and later have a family with legitimate children. Additionally, it gave adoptive family the reassurance that they would not have to have concerns of a birth parent resurfacing after many year causing upheaval in their lives, or that of the child they had raise, usually from birth. It is estimated that as of 1970 175,000 of these closed adoptions happened a year, well into the 1980’s. While conceptually this set up seemed ideal, it ignored the humanistic aspect of birth parents longing to know what came of their child, and it completely disregarded the adoptee rights to understand where they came from once they were able to understand the situation. Also it gave adoptive families no resources of understanding the nature of what may have affected their

Countless books are available about the process for members of the triad to read to attempt to assist the process is a healthy way. Adoption agencies facilitate reunifications and searches, usually for a fee, which can be viewed as controversial. Individuals calling themselves “search angels” scour the internet, searching public databases and social media to assist in reconnecting triad members. Some want to be found, some do not. Some search, some just make themselves available if other triad members want to search for them. Some reunicaitons are happy, some are painful. It is a difficult process for all the members of the triad and there is no perfect way to achieve