Acct 444 Quiz 2

446. Q. Why is it a bad thing for a husband to burn a candle at both ends?
A. It makes it twice as hard to keep his wife in the dark.

447. Director: “Have you ever had any stage experience?
Applicant: “Well, I had my leg in a cast once.”

448. Teacher: “What was George Washington noted for?”
Student: “His memory.”
Teacher: “What makes you think his memory was so great? Student: “They erected a monument to it.”

449. Q. What is the daffynition of a genilus?
A. A man who can do almost anything except make a
Living.

450. A customer had ordered a pizza and was waiting while it was being made and baked.

After the pizza maker took it out of the oven and placed it in a box, he asked the customer, “Do you want your pizza cut into six pieces or eight pieces?”
“Six,” replied the customer.

“I don’t believe I can eat eight.”

451. A sense of humor is the pole that adds balance as we walk the tight rope of life.

452. Q. Why doesn’t the steam locomotive sit down?
A. Because he has a tender behind.

453. Q. Why is a haberdasher like a railroad section gang?
A. Because they both work with ties.

454. Q. What do you call a dog with no legs?
A. A hot dog.

455. Two detectives were investigating a murder.
1st detective: “He was shot at close range.”
2nd detective: “There must have been powder marks on his body.”
1st detective: “Yes, they say that is why she shot him.”

456. Q. Why don’t the boy scouts make and sell cookies?
A. Would you want to have B.S. on your

cookies?

457. Q. What is the difference between teachers and bus drivers?
A. Teachers face their problems each day.
Bus drivers have their problems behind them.

458. An old man was watching television. He said to his old wife, “Why don’t you go out in the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream?”
So his wife went to the kitchen. She yelled back, “Do you want a banana on it?”
“Yes,” he yelled back.
“How about nuts?” his wife yelled.
“O.K., don’t forget the nuts.”
“How about whipped cream?” his wife yelled.
“O.K., don’t forget the whipped cream?”
“How about a cherry on top?”
“O.K., don’t forget the cherry on top,” he yelled back.
Then, about ten minutes later, his wife came into the living room with a plate filled with a slice of ham and scrambled eggs. She handed it to him.
“Hey,” the man said to his wife, “Hey, you forgot the toast.”

459. Doctor: “Your pulse is as steady as a clock.”
Patient: “You’ve got stethoscope on my wrist watch.”

460. Q. What happened to the cat that ate a ball of yarn?
A. It had mittens instead of kittens.