A Personal Experience Of Being An Outsider

Being alone isn't the best, walking into a room with people talking to each other and you not knowing where to sit, or who to talk to makes you feel like an outsider. When a person is alone, they feel like nothing can make you happy. When you’re a outsider, you feel alone, like you have nobody and that is the worst feeling in the world.
I was about eight or nine when my father, who was in the army, was sent to Korea and my mother and I had to go also. I was quite an outgoing child, this is up until the move. When I got to Korea I had to go to this school that had so many people, everywhere I would turn I'd see people all around me.
On the first day of school I went into this classroom and it was practically full, I sat down and didn’t talk

to anyone, I was alone. I sat in class listened to everything the teacher said and before I knew it, it was lunch. I walked into the lunchroom and didn't have anyone to sit with so I found a girl who was in my class, I asked her if I could sit with her. She trying not to be rude said yes so for the rest of lunch I sat with her and her friends.
I was so scared, for some reason I couldn’t talk to these people, even though we were practically the same, that’s when I started to have a fear of large groups of people. It was probably the fact that I had to leave all of my friends in Oklahoma and at a young age I was hurt by it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I would shut everyone out. So the next day of school came and I had gotten into class, but now there was another girl, she had bright red hair and her name was Mindy.
I noticed this new person I thought that maybe people would pay attention to her and I would be able to be in the back on the room where I could just get through the day. I sat in my desk doing a science worksheet then Mindy came up to me and greeted me and we had a little conversation, I learned that she wasn’t new like me she just was sick the day before.
At lunch Mindy invited me to sit with her and her friends at lunch, I particularly did not want to but I did anyway. As I sat down a crowd of people sat down also, and started to talk and laugh. A few of them I had a conversation with but not much. I sat there trying to be involved in their conversation but I was failing miserably.
I went outside for it was recess, we didn’t have recess the day before because the kids were being to loud at lunch, I of course was not the cause of that.

So since I wanted to be Mindy's friend I decided to hang out with her and her friends. I quickly regretted that decision because I felt they had know each other for so long that I couldn’t fit in with them.
So I sat on the swing, alone.
Mindy came over to me and said "why did you leave?" I didn’t want to answer, I wanted to be left alone. So I just told her that I felt that I wouldn’t fit in with her friends. She quickly after that reassured me that I would. But I didn't believe her.
Mindy was determined to be my friend. So she decide to only hang out with me instead of her other friends. I never understood why people like her liked me, people even before that said that I had a great personality. I had realized at that moment that I did have friends, I just didn’t accept them. So that is what I did, I accepted them, as my friends.
Mindy and I were in my living room working on a science project together and after we decide to invite over our other friends. So they came over and we talked and laughed and had a great time and it that moment I realized that no matter how bad I feel yesterday, tomorrow will be a better day and if it is not, it's

ok.
When bad things happen you can always find a flip side to it, and I guess mine was that even though I didn’t like opening up to people, I can and I did. Three years later I moved to Texas, where I am now, and I even had the same, lonely feeling for a little but this experience helped me that now I can adapt quickly and I'm less insecure about myself.