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Courtship before and now in America
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19th Century Courtship Etiquette
Etiquette has played an important role in a secular society of the 19th century. Manners and rules of behavior meant as much as the social origin or status. Etiquette was a basis for any kind of relationships including romantic ones. Courtship of the 19th century had strict rules that were respected by the society. Through certain rituals of communication, people were getting to know each other better in order to get close and build the fundament of the future family. However, etiquette also played a limiting role. It was an unwritten law that only people of similar social status could get married. Etiquette was forbidding any unequal marriages and romantic relationships between people of different social classes. Moreover, etiquette was very strict to women and their reputation. The only possible way of relationship between a man and a woman was marriage, and any other kind of communication was restricted. For instance, if a woman had sexual relationship before marriage, she was considered impure, and her reputation was ruined for the rest of her life, it would also bring shame to all her family. Such women often could not get married after the fact of their dishonor had been exposed. In this paper, I would like to examine the courtship etiquette of the 19th century in detail and analyze its impact on the society.
In the 19th century, the society considered love essential for marriage and developed a certain code of ethics that would provide a descent way to build a strong union between a man and a woman based on companionship. The fiction of that time focused on love themes proclaiming respect, cooperation, and romance as the fundamental elements of a good marriage. It became a popular tendency...
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The Bible which is seen as one of the most sacred text to man has contained in it not only the Ten Commandments, but wedding vows. In those vows couples promise to love, cherish, and honor each other until death does them apart. The irony of women accepting these vows in the nineteenth century is that women are viewed as property and often marry to secure a strong economic future for themselves and their family; love is never taken into consideration or questioned when a viable suitor presents himself to a women. Often times these women do not cherish their husband, and in the case of Edna Pontiellier while seeking freedom from inherited societal expectations and patriarchal control; even honor them. Women are expected to be caretakers of the home, which often time is where they remain confined. They are the quintessential mother and wife and are expected not to challenge that which...
In the end, readers are unsure whether to laugh or cry at the union of Carol and Howard, two people most undoubtedly not in love. Detailed character developments of the confused young adults combined with the brisk, businesslike tone used to describe this disastrous marriage effectively highlight the gap between marrying for love and marrying for ?reason.? As a piece written in the 1950s, when women still belonged to their husbands? households and marriages remained arranged for class and money?s sake, Gallant?s short story excerpt successfully utilizes fictional characters to point out a bigger picture: no human being ought to repress his or her own desires for love in exchange for just an adequate home and a tolerable spouse. May everyone find their own wild passions instead of merely settling for the security and banality of that ?Other Paris.?
Bill Cosby once said that, “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.” J.J. Lewis (1995-2009) This famous comedian could not have been more correct when recognizing that every marriage will face a multiple number of challenges and is often difficult. Couples, once married, must find a way to end any struggles in order for the marriage to be successful. Marital traditions have changed greatly over the centuries and due to this, the opinion of what an ‘ideal marriage” consists of has changed as well. When reviewing the document “On Love and Marriage” the author (a Merchant of Paris) believes that marriage should not be an equal partnership, but one that pleases the husband to avoid conflict. This can be clearly seen through an examination of: the social, and political environment of the late fourteenth century, and the merchant’s opinions on the area of obedience to a husband, and how to avoid infidelity.
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The first chapter begins with an exploration of love and marriage in many ancient and current cultures. Surprisingly many cultures either avoid the discussion of love in marriage or spit on the idea completely. China and other societies believed that love was simply a product of marriage and shouldn’t get too out of hand, while a few Greek and Roman philosophers shunned excessive
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Spencer, Luke. “Mistress Bradstreet and Mr. Berryman: The Ultimate Seduction.” American Literature, Vol. 66, No. 2 (Jun., 1994), Duke University Press: pp. 353-366 (Print)
A marriage in the 19th century had many different expectations than it does today. Most marriages, especially for the upper class, were conducted as an exchange of assets and used for public display. Hendrik Hartog in his lecture titled, "Marital Expectations in Nineteenth Century America," writes, "At least until the middle years of the nineteenth century being married meant subjecting oneself to a known and coercive public relationship," (96). It was an agreement that publicly cha...
In class there have been many discussions over the relationships and marriages among the books we have read. When someone thinks of marriage, a fairy tale with a happy ending might come to mind, or possibly a safe haven for those looking for something stable. In The Awakening by Kate Chopin, and “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, marriage takes a turn for the worse. Marriage is no longer the happy memories in a lifetime. It can be the thing that hinders the women in these stories from developing their full potential or experiencing the world and other lifestyles. Through these texts and this time frame, we will analyze the meaning of their marriages, how they function, and the end result of both.
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Essential yet underplayed, seduction is a means to establishing a physical union. Throughout literature the basic arts of seduction, chasing the opposite sex, have changed, but a reader of such literature can see that the motive of seduction has mostly remained the same. The metaphysical literary motive of seduction in the context of this paper is a delicate technique of intentionally tempting a person to participate in a physical union or exploitation, or to inspire or persuade a person to partake in sexual behaviors. Although the outcome of these seduction techniques are sexual, literary authors have their own ways of writing these complex ideas in a colloquial language. As time progressed, debates over the literary means of seduction has
In this essay I would like to emphasize different ideas of how love is understood and discussed in literature. This topic has been immortal. One can notice that throughout the whole history writers have always been returning to this subject no matter what century people lived in or what their nationality was.
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