There are couples who are happy and there are those who are not. The success rate of marriages in America has fallen; fifty percent of all marriages will not make it to the end. Fifty percent of all marriages today, who enter into a “lifelong” commitment, will end in divorce. In search of a solution and an explanation researchers have turned to look at couples who are happy and those who are not, through all stages of a relationship. They have found that many of the traits that begin in a dating relationship will carry over into a marriage. Researchers have turned to the ways in which these happy couples communicate and the ways that not so happy couples communicate in order to find a common thread between couples who stay committed to one another while being satisfied in the relationship. There are communicative traits practiced by these couples who are happy. Those traits include but are not limited to successful conflict resolution, communicative responses to situations which threaten your relationship, the use of rituals to build relational quality and intimacy, the role of affection in relational satisfaction.
There is a correlation between successful conflict resolution and relational satisfaction in a relationship. It is important to note that not only is it important for conflicts to be resolved in a relationship but the way in which those conflicts are handled has a direct effect on the satisfaction and the success of the relationship or the marriage. It often times is not the subject matter of the fight which affects the relationship the most, it is the way in which the conflict is handled, “How couples argue and disagree about issues appears to be more consequential to the success of a marriage than what they ar...
... middle of paper ...
...d and
Dating Relationships,” 256.
Kennedy-Lightsey, Booth-Butterfield, “Responses to Jealousy Situations That Evoke Uncertainty in Married and
Dating Relationships,” 256.
Kennedy-Lightsey, Booth-Butterfield, “Responses to Jealousy Situations That Evoke Uncertainty in Married and
Dating Relationships,” 256.
Kennedy-Lightsey, Booth-Butterfield, “Responses to Jealousy Situations That Evoke Uncertainty in Married and
Dating Relationships,” 258.
Angela Hoppe-Nagao, Stella Ting-Toomey, “Relational Dialectics and Management Strategies in Marital
Couples,” Southern Communication Journal 67 (2002): 151.
Hoppe-Nagao, Ting-Toomey, “Relational Dialectics and Management Strategies in Marital Couples,” 151.
Kory Floyd, “Human Affection Exchange: V. Attributes of the Highly Affectionate,” Communication
Quarterly 50 (2002): 135.
Conflicts within relationships are inevitable and some conflict can help strengthen a relationship; however, in marriages and families, many people fail to work through their conflict, which results in unhealthy patterns of behavior. Over time, if left unresolved, these patterns of behavior can lead to a breaking of the relationship. Furthermore, most people do not set out seeking conflict within relationships, but rather they lack the emotional maturity to move through conflict. In fact, it is not the differences between the two parties that create the conflict, but rather the emotional reaction to their differences. Therefore, an intervention is required to begin the healing process of working through conflict. Often a pastor or counselor
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
There is no doubt that conflict occurs in every human institution including professional, unions, and educational and vocational environment. However effective exchange ideas through communication can greatly minimize the effects of marital conflict. Studies have suggested that couples remain married if they successfully manage their interpersonal communication on the basis of accommodating individual differences, problem resolving skills, forgiveness, collective decision making, empathy and above all positive conflict management.
The film analyzes a romantic relationship that is expected to last for a day. However, the nature of emotional attachment created by the relationship proves otherwise. Interpersonal communication is an essential aspect of romance because it enhances understanding, conflict resolution, and decision making. I selected the romantic interpersonal relationship because it is an essential aspect of life as far as marriage is concerned. Marriage is sustained through constant communication to help reduce the differences and enhance the effort of the couples in developing their marriage (Burleson
While marriage is still quite alive, the rates are definitely declining. It is interesting to distinguish the qualities and characteristics of relationships between generations. At some point, marriage would succeed or fail depending on happiness and satisfaction of couples. Today, there is high expectation between couples. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different topics one of them being “ For better and for Worst”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks about a sociologist Jesse Bernard argument that every marriage consists of two other marriages, his and hers, and how marriages typically favors men rather than the women. He sates that that the stresses that are experienced in a marriage come from expectations between the husband and wife. Anther topic Arlene Skolnick talks about is “Marriage is Movie, Not a Snapshot”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks a little about Heroclitis the ancient Greek philosopher saying of how “you can never step into the same river twice, because it is always moving” and how this is smaller to a marriage. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different studies that where done over a short period of time demonstrating that families, marriages, and people can change over
" Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 363-72. Print. Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process. "
Managing relationship conflicts can stem from a variety of sources. This can range from the communication aspect of a couple and also getting into disagreements. It can be hard to deal with a relationship conflict. The severity of the conflict can greatly affect the relationship in a variety of ways. One way the severity can affect the relationship is if the couple will still be together. Break ups can happen when getting into an argument, but they can also be preventable. Being able to identify the conflict triggers is a very important tool to learn and it can put a halt to arguments.
Woodin, E. M. (2011). A two-dimensional approach to relationship conflict: Meta-analytic findings. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 325-335. doi:10.1037/a0023791
Individuals that feel they are not valued or heard in a relationship can become closed off and terminate the relationship. An example of this is shown in a new phenomenon in Japan. The annual Love Your Wife Shout-out has been created so men can stand on a public stage and scream out loud why they love their wife and ways they are going to show it. The Wife Appreciation Society, created by Kiyotaku Yamana, holds this annual activity to increase the communication in couples and to allow men in the Japanese culture an outlet to express their feelings. They are trying to promote emotional intimacy and support to provide a source of reward for Japanese women in the Intimacy Theory style. Japanese couples have a twenty five percent happiness rating on marriage and it is hypothesized that it is because of the lack of warmth and communication in the relationship (Craft,
The participants ranged in age eighteen to sixty years and had been dating for six months to thirty years; forty-eight percent of the couples were cohabitating. Participants were recruited through the use of both paper flyers and online flyers in the San Francisco Bay Area. The sixty-nine couples were to complete an initial survey that recorded their daily experiences and after agreeing to continue to take part in the study, the participants were emailed an additional initial online survey that was to be completed before the couple arrived at the lab for training. The lab training was implemented to describe an overview of how they would be asked to complete a ten-minute online survey for fourteen consecutive nights. Results showed that the higher individuals were in communal strength toward their romantic partner, the more they experienced positive emotions during the daily sacrifices, felt appreciated for their efforts, and reported high relationship satisfaction on days when they made sacrifices (Kogan et al., 2010).
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Three articles were chosen based on love and marriage and analyzed in the book. In one of the articles “What Married Woman Wants” by Stan Guthrie interviews sociologist Brad Wilcox on his study of married women. The article reads that women are the happiest in their marriage when they receive emotional engagement from their husband. In Chapman’s book, he states that women and men have a primary love language that fulfills their love tank. The five love languages Chapman discloses are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time.
Communication Patterns: How does it Contribute to Marital Adjustment?" Journal of marital and family therapy 25.2 (1999): 211-23. ProQuest Central. Web. 5 Mar. 2013.
Many people main life dream is to marry the person they have fall in love with someday. However, most of the time, this dream can be shattered. When the expectations they have for the relationship are not met, the marriage starting to fail and the end result can be devastating. When two people make a commitment to live with each order happily ever after, the worst thing that can happen is to deal with divorce. Therefore, there could be numerous factors or causes contributing to the end of a matrimonial union between two persons, such as lack of communication, infidelity and financial issues.
Aside from the science behind love, a relationship cannot subsist upon affection alone. While a sense of endearment is helpful, it is not the most important part of a successful relationship. A couple must learn to communicate effectively in order to move forward in their relationship, a couple must also have a personal compatibility and be able to complement each other well. A couple must also be flexible with each other and be able to resolve conflict well, in order to have a workable relationship. Unfortunately, very few couples realize the amount of effort that must be put into a relationship and enter into things blindly. Many could argue that this is why, on average, a marriage in the US only lasts about 8.8 years and American marriages have a divorce rate of over 40 percent.