Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss. When first receiving news about the death of a loved one, the normal reaction is shock and denial. No one wants to hear that their father, grandmother, or uncle had just died, and according to Kübler-Ross, one way people cope with grief and loss of a loved one is denial. This means that a person may try and hide from the facts and block out what others are trying to say. That person might deny the reality of the situation and have thoughts like, “He not dead, that’s impossible. He was doing fine just yesterday” or “This must be some kind of mistake.” Denial is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock that comes after hearing such news. It is difficult for the person to accept the fact that someone dear to them is no longer with them, so they rebuke the truth and instead choose to avoid any type of encounter that forces them to face the truth and reality. This even extends to avoiding thinking about the situation. Gibran sta... ... middle of paper ... ...when they lose someone dear to them. However, we need to make the distinction that his words do not dictate how everyone should feel when coping with a loss. Going through life means experiencing great happiness but also great loss. Every loss we face may hurt and cause us grief, but we must let life take its course and endure the pain, for we cannot know true happiness without knowing true sorrow. Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” discusses the hardships that come with pain and loss and gives insight about how a person can overcome that pain. Even the pain might hurt a great deal right now, the wound will only heal if we allow ourselves to feel that pain. As famous poet Lao Tsu once said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, published the Pioneering book On Death and Dying. The work acquainted the world with the grieving process, called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross gathered her research from studying individuals with terminal cancer (Johnson, 2007). The first stage of the grieving process is denial. In this stage the person refuses to believe that their loved one is deceased, a common thought during this period is, “This can’t be happening to me” (Johnson, 2007).The second stage of the grieving process is anger. In this level the person becomes frustrated with their circumstances, a customary complaint is “Why is this happening to me?” (Johnson, 2007). The third stage of the grieving process is bargaining. At this point the individual hopes that they can prevent their grief, this typically involves bartering with a higher power, and an ordinary observance during this time is “I will do anything to have them back” (Johnson, 2007). The fourth and most identifiable stage of grief is depression. This phase is habitually the lengthiest as...
The Death of Ivan Illych brings an excellent in-depth description of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s 5 cycles of grief theory. In the book, it shows how Ivan Illych goes through these cycles in their own individual way. The cycles that Kubler-Ross uses in her theory are: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. To get a better understanding of these cycles, this paper will describe each cycle and provide quotations that will help develop an idea of how someone going through these cycles may react.
Denial is the first stage in grief; it’s a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate response. People tend to hide from the facts. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger the second step. Bargaining is the next step, which is the weaker line of defense to protect us from painful reality. Next step is Depression, which there are 2 types of. First is reaction to practical implicating relating to the loss. The other is our quiet preparation to separate and to allow our loved one leave in peace. Last is acceptance, which is a gift not offered to everyone? This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm.
“It is perhaps in grief that we discover the force that carried us once again into incarnation, the reason we incarnated in the first place. It is in the tearing open of heart that we discover how guarded our lives have become, how small a cage we have traded off for safe ground. We see how our work is to be more loving, to live more fully in an often confusing world.”
The first stage is Denial. After the love one death, bereaved was suffering from loss. They could not accept the facts in conscious level or unconscious level, no matter what to do or how to do. This kind’s action we would say that defense mechanism was emerged. Most bereaved person would be fixed on this stage during their painful events. They thought that they felt fine and this could not be happening to him or her. In the early days, bereaved have a tendency to reject or denial about the loss and may take out from their social activiti...
“Grief is considered to be universal phenomenon following a loss that can cause diverse psychological and physical reactions” (Sheehy, 2012). People deal with grief differently, in their own way and their own time. Grieving is a process that people will experience at some point in their life. No two people are going to experience the same grief. Someone who is experiencing grief may have suffered a loss of someone or something of importance in their life. This paper will compare and contrast the five stages of grief and the relationship between joy and grief with the story of Job in the Bible, how other religions approach grief and the authors own method of handling grief.
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
Having come so far through our loss and grief, we have gained something. There comes a special calmness and depth to our soul that we never knew before. This calmness is not something we wish for anyone because it is born of terrible hurt and pain. We are able to smile again now – perhaps not as bright and innocent as it once was – but smile all the same. In losing the innocence we once had we have gained a compassion and gentle strength that would never have been gained any other way. We now have a unique perspective on grief that we are able to use to help others.
Grief can arise from loss, whether large-scale or small, and may not be easily removed once it takes hold. Because of grief’s obstinate nature, many approaches have been developed in order to handle the repressive, and often painful, effects it can have on people’s lives. One of those approaches is Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s theory, The Five Stages of Grief. In Sierra Skye Gemma’s essay, “The Wrong Way”, she juxtaposes her own personal experiences with grief against Kübler-Ross’s hypothesis. Gemma uses her confessional, combined with empirical evidence that contradicts the Five Stages of Grief, to demonstrate that feelings of grief are unique to the individual; therefore, there is no right way to mourn.
Per Dr. Kübler-Ross’s theory. Individuals can get stuck in a stage of grieving and have longer periods of suffering before moving on to healing (Rubinstein, 2011). There are numerous factors on how people deal with loss. Faith and religion can also have a profound effect on the meaning of death. Through different cultures, people have their own way of dealing with each stage of grief and loss according to how they deal with it within their culture. Most people are usually comforted by friends or family through their religious system (Rubinstein, 2011). Learning how others experience death and dying could help us understand their personal experience while dealing with loss and
Intimately experiencing loss through the death of a loved one, challenges close held beliefs about existence by forcing a confrontation with one’s own mortality. A Grief Observed (1961) where prominent author and academic C.S. Lewis endures a devastating crisis of faith, contains evidence supporting Marris’s comment that the central crisis of grief is a loss of self. C.S. Lewis experiences a tumultuous struggle to reconcile his spiritual beliefs with the senseless loss of life and seeming cruelty of his wife’s death. Overcome with grief, he flirts with blasphemy, naming his once beloved and trusted god ‘Cosmic Sadist’, ‘spiteful imbecile’ (p. 27) and ‘Eternal Vivisector’ (p. 34). In his memoir of the ordeal C.S. Lewis writes: “Death only reveals the vacuity that was already there” (1961, p. 25). Grief leaves C.S. Lewis stricken with doubt and questioning his fundamental beliefs. He calls out his less than steadfast faith as being fragile as a house of cards. Along with the loss of his wife, C.S. Lewis also lost himself, throwing his very identity as a man of unshakable faith, into
The stages of death are known to be a process of mourning that is experienced by individuals from all phases of life. This mourning ensues from an individual’s own death or the death of a loved one. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross dedicated much of her career to studying this dying process and in turn created the five stages of death. The five stages are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages may not occur in sequence and sometimes may intersect with one another (Axelrod, 2006). The reality of death many times causes a feeling of denial; this is known as the first stage. In this stage, people have many emotions and have a tendency to hide from reality. This reaction is momentary, but should not be rushed. The patient or loved one needs time to adjust to the awaiting death. This adjustment helps bring them through to the next stage; anger. Anger is a common feeling and many times routes from a feeling of not being ready. This emotion may be directed toward God, strangers, friends, family or even healthcare professionals (Purcell, 2006). In some cases, it can be targeted...
People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died. How a person copes with grief is affected by the person's cultural and religious background, coping skills, mental history, support systems, and the person's social and financial status.
In Memoriam A. H. H.” For example, Canto 83 portrays the culminating anger that the speaker is battling over the loss of his friend. The speaker writes, “For this alone on Death I wreak / The wrath that garners in my heart; / He put our lives so far apart / We cannot hear each other speak” (1525- 1528). Within these lines, the speaker is conveying his opinion that he has somehow been wronged by the death of his friend.