Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher

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Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher

Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honour to be standing here. I suppose I should actually say it's an honour and a pleasure, but I know the pleasure won’t kick in until this speech part is over.

I must admit to being a little surprised when James invited me to his wedding as I only met him a few years ago. But on reflection, I think he was swayed by the fact that I know very little about the first years of his life, which therefore puts some rather embarrassing stories out of reach.

James and I have been close ever since we met whilst (while) teaching at Ferndale secondary school - so close, in fact, that he has told me secrets that nobody else knows. One of those secrets is that James keeps a diary. In preparation for this speech, I decided to swipe his diary and would now like to read to you a few of the entries that chart the blossoming romance between James and Anis. [pull out a diary prop] So here it goes:

September 5th 1998 – Today was my first day as a teacher. When the kids got out of line, I just got loud and acted tough like dad does. I hope they don't realize that I am really just a big sissy.

September 6th 1998 – A pretty teacher at school talked to me today. That was weird.

September 7th 1998 – I said “hi” to the pretty girl today. It's a good thing Jason [best man] taught me how to be cool.

September 13th 1998 – Ate dinner at Pizza Hut tonight with Jason, Sarah, and the pretty girl named Anis. I think I like her.

September 14th 1998 – I couldn't sleep last night with all the butterflies in my stomach. I think I like this girl more than my car.

September 15th 1998 – Jason is the coolest guy I know. I hope he doesn’t decide to go out with Anis.

September 14th 1998 – Anis kissed me. It was amazing. I haven't kissed a girl since Freshers’ Week at Uni (the university).

December 7th 2001 – I proposed to Anis today. She accepted, but only after criticizing my way of kneeling. This is one of the happiest days of my life. Unfortunately, I can't see much because I've been crying like a little girl.

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"Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher." 19 Mar 2018
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June 11th 2001 – Went for a jog today. I need to get fit for the wedding. But it’s so hard to jog with a pizza in each hand.

June 11th 2001 – It’s my birthday. Anis bought me a new tennis racket.

June 14th 2001 – I practiced with my new racket today, hitting the ball against the garage door.

July 14th 2001 – I still haven’t won yet, but this is the first day I’ve taken the door to five sets.

July 21st 2001 – It’s my stag night tomorrow. Jason wants to take me to Preston. But I don’t think they have a lap dance club in Preston.

July 27th 2002 – I am getting married this afternoon, and I am so nervous. I have already disgraced myself twice. Jason will be very upset if I do it again.

Well, I hope that gives you an idea of the events that led up to this day. And what a wonderful day this has been. Everything has run so smoothly from the word go. And who do we have to thank for that? Well, I was such a fine and efficient best man of course and the bridesmaids added so much to the occasion. But our greatest thanks must go to the bride and groom. After all, they organized this event and frankly I don’t think it could have been bettered.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s wish the happy couple a long and happy marriage. The toast is to the bride and groom.

To Anis and James.

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