Breaking Up

Breaking Up

Let’s face it; breaking up is hard to do. Unless you’re a masochist,

you likely don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. And unless

you’re a sadist, you don’t want to stay in a relationship that’s not

working for you. But extricating yourself without anyone getting hurt

is no simple task. It takes skill, finesse, and a thorough

understanding of “the three steps.”

Step 1, would be choosing the medium in which one wishes to use.

Today, breaking up tends to fall into three distinct mediums: in

person, by phone, or email. But not all three work for every

situation. Determining which way is appropriate for you is the first

step toward a clean break. Breaking up in person may be the most

difficult way, especially since you never know how the other person is

going to react. But if you’ve been together for a significant amount

of time, it is really the only way. It shows that, despite the fact

that things were ultimately un-resolvable, you do care about the

other, and that you’re still a decent human being. Just make sure to

pick a semi-private place where you can talk and they can cry without

attracting attention. The phone is usually only appropriate if you’ve

been out on a handful of dates, and been physical in any way, a quick

call to make your explanation is the fair thing to do. It is certainly

less intimate than an in-person meeting (which is not necessary if

you’re not committed to one another), but more personal than email

(which is too cold if you’ve been out more than once). Email is

usually done when you’ve been out once or twice, and you’re just not

that into it. Jot down a quick email, hit send, and the job is done.

Really, at that early stage, it’s all you owe them.

There is one more option that falls under Step 1 that I haven’t

mentioned, and that is avoidance. It’s what we’d all like to do, but

is only acceptable if you’ve been on a date or two and not yet slept