I have gained more than I lost

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I have gained more than I lost

Over the past year, everything in my life has completely changed. The ways that I think, react, and live now are totally different. As I was growing up my father would physically abuse me. The situation that I was in cost me many things in my life, but in retrospect I have gained more than I have lost. Six months ago I had hit rock bottom. It was the end of my junior year and I had just run away from my house for the fourteenth or fifteenth time. I was at a payphone, going to call one of my friends to come pick me up and as I was catching my breath. I couldn't think of anyone to pick me up. My life had been totally cut off because of all the wrong decisions that I was making. It was like I had flashbacks of scenes through the last four years of my life and I saw how I was reacting to situations, and I saw how everything I did was only fixing things in the short term. I came to accept what had happened to me in my past and I decided to move forward towards a better future. I made a call. I took an offer to live with an old friend's family and made a promise to myself to look for a long-term answer. Since I have been living with my new family, I still talk to my mother and sister and I see that even though the same patterns are still occurring, I can look back now and see that I have moved on to another level of awareness. I am now no longer content to play the same old roles of the one that bears the blame that my family expected me to play. For four years I was entirely focused on my problems while the world went on around me. Now I want to see what I have been missing. I can see how my situation has set me apart from others but people intrigue me and I want to listen to their stories and ideas and learn what makes them tick.

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