I Carry on My Back All that is Important to Me

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An unfamiliar voice caused me to stop dead in my tracks as I was coming back to my table. Surreptitiously glancing through the foliage, I noticed two men pointing at something. Hesitant to announce my presence, I was very perplexed by the fact that the object they were staring at was my backpack! I was studying in the park and walked off to get a drink of water, and when I came back, whom should I find examining my worldly possessions but the great detective and his chronicler! Maybe I should tell him to mind his own business...on the other hand, I would like to see Mr. Sherlock Holmes struggle to find clues to my identity.

Meanwhile, Holmes and Watson were engrossed in their usual exercise in deduction, with no feelings of professional integrity to preclude them from viewing the contents of my backpack.

"What can you gather from this mundane article, Watson?"

Watson dutifully furrowed his brow and attempted to employ his ingenious friend's methods. "Aside from noting its battered appearance and its distorted shape, which, no doubt, results from transporting great weights, I can produce no inferences about its owner. You, I should imagine, feel like you have known him all your life?"

"Her, Watson, her. I conclude that the possessor of this book bag is a young lady of a scholarly nature, most likely a teenager, a student of various academic disciplines. Her eyesight is most likely poor, and it seems that she is very erratic, but tries to make up for her shortcomings. She obviously prefers to perform simple tasks in exciting, unusual ways, likes a good discussion, and is not afraid to reveal her opinions. Self-conscious of her mistakes, she likes to straighten them out at the first opportunity, and is well equipped to fight boredom. And this is my perfunctory opinion. Had I met the girl, I would be able to tell you more."

Letting out his traditional gasp of awe, Watson exclaimed, "Once again, my dear Holmes, you have outdone yourself! Pray tell me, how do you deduce all this from such scarce clues?"

"It is simplicity itself. First of all, note the writing in green puff paint. 'Omnia mea mecum porto'--Latin for "I carry all my possessions with me." A person who chooses to identify him or herself with such a phrase must be prepared to thoroughly explain and discuss it with any curious passersby.

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