Tears of a Clown

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Tears of a Clown

I sat on my seat next to the cage of my t-rex while helpers were applying my clown makeup. I was almost ready. I got into my clown clothes. Tim the T-rex was saddled and feisty.

“Xavier, it’s time for you to get out there!” Someone said as the speaker in the tent began to announce me.

“Now introducing, Xavier the clown on his t-rex, Tim!” I urged Tim to walk briskly out of the performers tent. I cued him to bow down. I ran around the ring just like I practiced in our routine.

“This big guy was found in the Himalayas. We took a piece of his DNA and cloned him. Now watch as this fierce dino attempts this crazy feat of bravery!” I gave Tim the cue to do a back flip through a hoop of liquid nitrogen. It all happened in slow motion, it seemed. He jumped with his powerful hind legs. Just as we were upside down, I lost my grip. I fell off balance just as Tim started to go down. I fell on the hoop hard. I cried out in agony. Tim fell onto my leg and crushed it with searing pain. The crowd became a blur as I blacked out, unaware of people standing over me and rushing around.

The next thing I knew, I was awake in a sterile little hospital bed. I tried to sit up, but the pain of my injuries brought me to fall down again.

“What happened?” I asked myself. I couldn’t remember. I looked at my arms. They were near dead. The liquid nitrogen did it, I thought. I looked around my hospital room. No one was there. No visiters, no presents. Well, I thought to myself, it makes sense since I am a clown and all. I closed my eyes and groaned.

“Scuze meh? Did yous a be needing sum’in?” A low, deep voice said. A nurse walked in that moment. She took my breath away! I started gasping for air. She looked at me with an...

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...her arm stub, and spanked me with her peg leg. I cried as she, one last time, twitched her way out of my life. I walked out of the hospital and out into the bright sun that I hadn’t seen for 9 months. I got sunburned instantly. I ran to Tim who was crunching cars in the parking lot. I sat on his foot and cried my eyes out. He looked down on me as he crushed a really nice Porsche. I hopped onto his back and rode off into the sunset with a heavy heart, back to the circus.

I never got over that nurse. Her image will stay with me for as long as I live. I still cry every night, as if the hurt is still fresh. Her icy coldness leaves fresh tracks in my heart, even still. I always keep hoping that I will see her at a performance and I will sweep her off her feet with my talent. So far, nothing. For as long as I am without the love of my life, I will shed tears of a clown.

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