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Your search returned over 400 essays for "humorous wedding speech"
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Groom's Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive - Groom's Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history - the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let her down. Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent, so witty, so popular, so gorgeous, and so altogether fantastic......   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1633 words
(4.7 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom The groom has used the wedding date as a source for funny lines, comparing their marriage with celebrity couples for comic effect. While preparing this speech I thought it would be interesting to see if any celebrity couples had been married on the same day as us. Paul Simon and Carrie Fisher wed in 1983...and split up after 9 months. Oh dear. Also, Madonna married Sean Penn on this day in 1985; and we all know the outcome of that. Unlike the latter, while Lisa is "Like A Virgin," I plan to "Cherish" her forever and I am not afraid to 'Justify My Love." There's always the "Hanky Panky" to look forward to....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 546 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom It is apparent from the opening few lines of this speech that the groom has an excellent relationship with the bride's parents and this can be really useful, not just in the future, for obvious reasons, but it can also make the speech more humorous. This speech is also a good example of using events in history that happened on the same date as a source of humor. Thank you for those lovely words. I'd like to remind you that you're not so much losing a daughter, but regaining three closets (wardrobes)....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 966 words
(2.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Thank you for your kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law; I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, for bringing up such a lovely daughter, and for giving me your blessing to marry her. In addition. due to the number of phone calls between my wife and her mom, the phone company would also like to thank you both. On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, and maybe after my speech you'll think it's started again, although this day will go down in history as the day you all heard the best ever speech....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 885 words
(2.5 pages)
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A Humorous and Heartfelt Wedding Speech - A Humorous and Heartfelt Wedding Speech Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Frank on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'no, you!' I've known Frank for the best part of 20 years now and of course there are plenty of things I could tell you about what we got up to in our younger da...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 597 words
(1.7 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion. You know, while I was watching my son and future daughter-in-law suffer through the painful process of planning their wedding, I asked myself, “What would it be like if men were responsible for organizing weddings?” I’m guessing that my son might rename the "Rehearsal Dinner" to the "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger". The invitations would not read “Gracious dinning from 7 to 10” but rather, “Raucous Drinking from 7 until the cops show up.” Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops – with more skin showing tha...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 473 words
(1.4 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit, I am more nervous about participating in this wedding than I was as the groom (bridegroom) at my own wedding. Maybe it's because I have been married thirty years and I know what my son is getting himself in to. Joking aside, I've had a wonderful marriage and I would like to remind David and Arba that it's a serious business, and shouldn't be entered into lightly - although, at his weight, my son certainly isn't doing that....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 569 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. I would first like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Marcus and Adrian's wedding such a memorable and special occasion. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking. When I was asked to be in the wedding party I decided that I needed to know what the role entailed. I have now read several books, and all of them include a last minute checklist to guarantee a smooth wedding....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 760 words
(2.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sister of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sister of the Groom Ladies and Gentlemen you'll be pleased to know I am only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat..... if I go on too long Angie has threatened to cut it. However, before I begin, on behalf of John and Angie I would like to thank everyone who has helped to make this the special day that it is - and I think we can all agree it has been splendid so far. Well, I knew it would be difficult to follow a speech made by John and I was right .......   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 929 words
(2.7 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the groom's father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didn't want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. It's the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesn't really know what he's expected to say and yet his speech is supposed to be humorous - but it might not be....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 985 words
(2.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Robert. As they were speaking just now, it struck me how much David and his new father-in-law now have in common. After all, it's the first time in 25 years that Arthur has been able to speak for 10 minutes without interruption from the women in his family. And it'll be the last time in 25 years that David gets to do the same. So I sincerely hope he treasures this moment. But it is great to finally see David with a ring on his finger as he learned a long time ago that you cannot make someone love you....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 709 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom in Sales - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom in Sales Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Today, I'd like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to a man who personifies intelligence, ambition, tact, generosity, and integrity. But it is John’s wedding so it's only fair that I talk about him as well. Laughter Now, I only met John a few years ago at university, meaning that I’ve had to rely on him perhaps more than I would have liked to get the details of his past. But apparently, the young John Cervoni was an exceptionally gifted child....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 645 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Bill, Michael's brother. Michael didn't choose me to be in the wedding party in the traditional way. Actually, I drew straws with our other brother Sean. (pause) But just because I'm up here speaking don't for one minute think I was the winner. Laughter I think all went well this morning getting Michael ready for his big day. The condemned man ate a hearty breakfast, but alas I was unable to comply with his last request as a single man due to objections from the S.P.C.A...........Bloody do-gooders....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 730 words
(2.1 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Well, as Henry VIII said to each one of his wives … 'I shall not keep you long'. Ladies and Gentlemen, this day is an historic day, on this day in 1666, the Great Fire of London started - nothing to do with my wife's cooking. And on this day in the year 2000, you attended this wedding reception and heard the finest wedding speech of your entire lifetime, and my best man Michael will be making it. I after all, did have a great speech worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1133 words
(3.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman – It’s my job to reply to the toast to the bridesmaids and in doing so, say a couple of nice things about George. You know, tell you about some of his good points. The problem is he doesn’t have any good points. Well, except for being naturally gifted at sports. We do, after all, come from the same gene pull. So, on behalf of the bridesmaid, Claire, I would like to start by thanking George for his kind words. I am sure you will all agree that she looks wonderful today, as always....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1018 words
(2.9 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniel's best man today. So let me tell you about all those best man duties that originally concerned me, because I was immediately stumped by the first one: ‘ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order.’ Well Daniel, I have to say that if nature didn't get...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 695 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by Friend of Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Friend of Groom Ladies and gentlemen, thanks Gary for those kind words. It has been a pleasure for all us attendants to play a small part in your big day. Before I say a word or two about the groom, what about that dress Jeanie is wearing. It has attracted so much favorable comment from the guests here that I have to give it a special mention. You look stunning Jeanie. When Gary asked me to be his best man I immediately thought of the speech. I saw it as an opportunity to talk about a great hero of mine… a wonderful, handsome, kind-hearted man who is admired by many....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 816 words
(2.3 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – for those of you who don’t know me I’m Floyd, Edward’s best man. Of course, the only problem with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it, but if anyone wants to start a drinking competition later, then come talk to me. Edward has been a great friend to me since we met. And, over that time, he's always been there for me. I remember especially him being there when I had my first car crash… oh, that's right, Edward was driving....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 651 words
(1.9 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I must thank Donald for his kind words. I must also thank all of you for coming today - I know how hard it is to get a day release. As Donald’s lighter brother – sorry, I meant little brother, which is simply a reference to the fact that he is older than I am, and nothing else – I would also like to welcome Liz into the family. I think you’ll find the Endeans to be a warm and open family - but never play cards with any of us....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 811 words
(2.3 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech – Best Man - Humorous Wedding Speech – Best Man Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Steve for saying such nice things about me during his speech, though I must admit, I did deserve them. I mean, where would a bridegroom be without his best man. The friend at hand when he couldn’t find the rings. The reassuring voice in his ear when it looked like it might rain. And the chaperone who persuaded him to leave the strip club last night. Actually, I believe it was this morning. I think we all agree that Linda looks fantastic today, a number one hit if ever there was one....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 733 words
(2.1 pages)
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Humorous and Casual Wedding Speech by the Groom - Humorous and Casual Wedding Speech by the Groom They say marriage is an institution and therefore, it seems proper that I am about to be married since some of you have been saying I should have been institutionalized for years. Some of you may be concerned as to whether I am actually prepared marriage, but I want to assure you that I am fully aware of the changes that marriage will bring and to this end I have prepared a small list. 1. I understand that my rights to have a say in matters pertaining to decorating are revoked....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 486 words
(1.4 pages)
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Humorous and Sentimental Wedding Speech by the Groom - Humorous and Sentimental Wedding Speech by the Groom I was going to begin with "ladies and gentlemen" but on looking around I'm glad I didn't. So here goes. Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, and those of no distinction at all, family relatives, new and old, in-laws and out-laws, friends, friends of friends, and freeloaders, welcome to our wedding reception. First of all I would like to thank my brothers and my new sister for their kind words. I did have a speech all worked out for this special occasion, but of course now that I'm a married man, she has told me what to say instead....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1289 words
(3.7 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride - Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride Well, good afternoon everyone, for those of you that don?t know me my name is Lee and I?m Janie?s dad, and in keeping with tradition, it is my honor and privilege to deliver the ?Father of the Bride Speech?. Having to make this speech is one of the few opportunities in a married man?s life when he is allowed to do all of the talking...and I intend to make the most of it. Now, giving a speech can be a little stressful so I will put into practice what I preach, that is...always remember the ABC to the XYZ of public speaking....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1466 words
(4.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom (Bridegroom) - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom (Bridegroom) Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Charles. I've tried to memorise this speech, but forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. I did ask for an autocue to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget doesn't stretch that far. And, unfortunately, neither does my eyesight. Laughter I've known Steven for 22 years now and we've had more good times than I can remember - and we'd have had a one more if I hadn't run out of money in that strip cub on the other night....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 563 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech - Written Guidelines from the Bride - Humorous Wedding Speech - Written Guidelines from the Bride Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must inform you that I’ve had quite a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. So please spare a thought and try not to clap too loudly during my speech because I’ve got a dreadful hangover and a splitting headache. You’d think I’d know better than to be out drinking in the early hours of the morning the night before a big wedding - but David’s a good friend (mate) and he needed some company....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 624 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Father of the Bride - Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Father of the Bride I want to thank all of you for coming and helping Rick and Melissa celebrate this important day in their lives. I've tried to memorize this speech, which isn't easy when you have the memory retention of a geriatric goldfish, so please forgive me if I resort to my notes - probably every five seconds. I did ask for an autocue to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget doesn't stretch that far... And neither does my eyesight The most important people here for Rick, are Ellen and Terry....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 506 words
(1.4 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech - Some Advice for the Bridegroom (Groom) - Humorous Wedding Speech - Some Advice for the Bridegroom (Groom) Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - If you didn't know already, my name is Alberto and I'm in the wedding party. That is the reason I?m dressed like this. What have I done to be blessed with such an honour. Who?s dropped out at the last minute. Had William?s other friends left the country. Could I turn the job down and still get an invite to eat and drink at William?s expense. I didn?t want to risk it, so lets get on with it. Sherry, you make a fine bride and looked absolutely stunning in the church this morning....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 688 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I’m not an experienced public speaker, so I find it easier just to read the speech word for word. In fact, I’ve practiced it almost daily for about a week and a half now, so that I know it very well. It’s a tip that I read in a book about public speaking. I’ve also been drinking profusely to help calm my pre-speech nerves. I made that tip up myself. Laughter Yes, I am a little nervous about being the best man....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 593 words
(1.7 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by an Old Roomate (Flatmate) - Humorous Wedding Speech by an Old Roomate (Flatmate) Well, congratulations to Herman and Connie. I assume that you are now expecting me to have a bit of fun at Herman's expense. Well, the only trouble is, Herman's expenses have been so high today that I’m not sure how much more he can take. Herman and I have been great friends (mates) for a long time now, and inevitably we've shared many things over the years: football; college; my driving license when Herman didn't have one - and now, a wedding table....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 558 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech to a Groom with Long Hair - Humorous Wedding Speech to a Groom with Long Hair Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I must admit, I am more nervous about being best man than I was at my own wedding. Maybe it’s because I have been married a year and I know what Jonathan’s letting himself in for. And on that happy occasion, as some of you know, Jonathan was my best man and he did a wonderful job. However Jonathan, there are many reasons why you should get married and I’m not sure if revenge is one of them. But, it is a great thrill and an honor, and Jonathan’s already agreed that I can do it again next time....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 740 words
(2.1 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Best Man - Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Best Man Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. First of all, I’d like congratulate the groom (bridegroom) on a very enjoyable speech - which has raised the expectation of my speech to a level that I cannot possibly hope to fulfill now. Thanks for that. Now I know I’m expected to say this but it really is an honor being John’s best man. He’s a very popular person with many close friends, so when he asked me to do this job I was extremely pleased and very proud – and I hope he remembers that sentimental moment just as well as I do....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 827 words
(2.4 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher - Humorous Wedding Speech Made by a Fellow Teacher Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honour to be standing here. I suppose I should actually say it's an honour and a pleasure, but I know the pleasure won’t kick in until this speech part is over. I must admit to being a little surprised when James invited me to his wedding as I only met him a few years ago. But on reflection, I think he was swayed by the fact that I know very little about the first years of his life, which therefore puts some rather embarrassing stories out of reach....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 646 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride - Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride Distinguished guests, those of dubious distinction and those of no distinction, family, relatives, in-laws and outlaws, young and old, friends, friends of friends, freeloaders and hangers-on – let me extend a warm welcome to Meradith and Naren’s wedding reception celebration. Winston Churchill was apparently asked to address a prep school and he got up and said, “Never, Never, Never give up!” then he sat down. Well you are not going to get away quite as easily as that, but I will try to be brief....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 770 words
(2.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by an Old Friend of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by an Old Friend of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen Let me first say that the bridesmaids look absolutely smashing today, and only rightly outshone by our bride, Pamela. And, I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today's passing by without much of a ripple. I've known Robert for the best part of twenty years and of course there are plenty of things I could tell you about what we got up to in our younger days....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 767 words
(2.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Given by a Friend from Work - Humorous Wedding Speech Given by a Friend from Work Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. And, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I’d like to thank Anthony for his kind words. I certainly agree that they did a great job today. And as for the rest of his speech, I always knew he’d be hard to follow – but I didn’t expect an unintelligible, mumbled noise. Oh well, it only goes to show that just when you think you know someone well, they go and surprise you. But in fact, I haven’t known Anthony for all that long....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 708 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Fellow Engineering Student - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Fellow Engineering Student Ladies and Gentlemen – hello. I would like to start by thanking Eric, on behalf of the bridesmaids, for his kind words. I am sure you will all agree that they look absolutely gorgeous and have carried out their duties magnificently. I’m not sure how much tequila it took, but the bride arrived one time and seemingly cured of all her wedding day nerves. Also, we shouldn’t forget James, the pageboy, who has also done a sterling job today. You may have noticed that he was entrusted with the rings and not me, the supposed best man....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 860 words
(2.5 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered at a Golf Club - Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered at a Golf Club Firstly, I would like to thank Nick for his kind words on behalf of the bridesmaids and anyone else he mentioned. While I’m on the subject of gratitude, thanks also to Elite Golf Club and all the workers for a wonderful spread. Any chance of a golf membership. Laughter Before getting into things, I must say what a truly wonderful wedding it's been so far. Pretty church, glamorous cars, glorious flowers, magnificent food, a beautiful bride and an average groom....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 669 words
(1.9 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men - Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Steve and this is my partner in crime, Scot. We are the best men today, famed for our double act. Some people may even say we were artists, but I think you'll all realize what kind of artists we are later on this evening. Now, I’d like to think that Gary chose Scott and me to be joint best men so that we could both be by his side on his wedding day. However, Scott reckons Gary only picked us for the wedding photos....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 715 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men - Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it’s perfectly simple. Arthur wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn’t find one, so he got two barely competent ones instead. So before I start, let me clarify the ‘role’ situation. Dennis, Arthur’s university friend and very trustworthy, was responsible for carrying the rings in church. I am Steve, Arthur’s childhood friend and very good with lager (beer)....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 784 words
(2.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom Who has Moved Frequently - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom Who has Moved Frequently Firstly, on behalf of the bride and groom, let me thank you all for attending this wedding celebration which I'm sure you will agree has been organised magnificently well - and I bet the wedding album has better coverage than the (insert latest tablod scandal here). Laughter Yesterday evening I was advised of my official wedding day duties and responsibilities. I was advised that, when greeting guests, to pay special attention to unaccompanied women....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 651 words
(1.9 pages)
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Humorous Best Man Speech - Humorous Best Man Speech The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up) I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yet know me my name is Whatwouldvouliketodrink....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1962 words
(5.6 pages)
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Humorous Best Man Speech - Humorous Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful. I'd also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned. When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for help. I must confess I was perplexed by some of the things I was expected to do: Help the groom dress....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1371 words
(3.9 pages)
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Humorous Best Man Speech - Humorous Best Man Speech I would also like to thank you all for being here today to share in this very special occasion. Before I begin my traditional destruction of the groom’s character, I would just like to say again how lovely the bride looks today. This is actually the first time I have made a speech (as you can probably tell), and it is true when they say that its nerve racking. In fact I could go so far as to say that I feel about as comfortable as Osama Bin Laden in the Whitehouse. I only feel slightly better knowing that I am not the only one in the room who is apprehensive, but then again she has just married the groom....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1305 words
(3.7 pages)
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Sentimental and Humorous Speech by the Father of the Bride - Sentimental and Humorous Speech by the Father of the Bride Ladies and gentlemen, it is my very pleasant duty to welcome you here this evening to this special occasion of celebrating this marriage. I'm sure that you will all agree on how radiant and gorgeous the bride is. However the groom is not too bad himself. I know that some of you have traveled quite a distance to be with us here tonight, from both overseas and interstate. We really thank you and welcome you here tonight and hope that you really do enjoy yourselves accordingly....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1011 words
(2.9 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech about the Groom Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Before starting the one speech that I know you’ve all been waiting for, I’d like to thank both Steve and Marcus – my two support acts. And I’d also like to thank Marcus in particular, for hosting what so far has been an absolutely fantastic wedding. It can’t have been easy watching your only daughter marry someone like Steve. In fact, I can only imagine what it might have been like - perhaps a similar feeling to realizing that you’ve just trodden in some fresh dog mess, only 100 times worse....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 704 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Speech by an Old Friend of the Groom (Bridegroom) - Humorous Speech by an Old Friend of the Groom (Bridegroom) Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank Michael for his kind words, and I have to say they were absolutely wonderful and have done an excellent job today - I mean the bridesmaids, not the words. Now, it's customary in these speeches to tell a story about the bachelor’s (stag) party, but in this case it won't be possible. That's because Michael has insisted on having his stag party after the wedding....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 550 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Best Man Speech for Two Best Men - Humorous Best Man Speech Written for Two Best Men Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience. Best man 2: So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you don't mind, we are going to give it a go. (Stares, winks at people) Best man 1: Ladies and gentlemen, may I thank you for attending this wonderful occasion....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1135 words
(3.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit to being rather nervous about today's speech. As it’s a family occasion, the last thing I want to do is cause offence by talking in too much detail about Brian’s colorful past. I’ve therefore decided to edit out anything that might cause offence. So thank you very much and have a wonderful evening. Sit down. Laughter. Stand up and continue. I read somewhere that you can flesh out your speech by researching which famous people were born the same day as the groom (bridegroom), and make some sort of link....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 442 words
(1.3 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Fellow Gambler - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Fellow Gambler Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Josh and following the time-honored tradition, I will now do my best to give Roy the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Joyce's life will be later on this evening, courtesy of Roy. Roy and I became acquainted many years ago, when we had three encounters in one week. I first saw him when he was placing a bet at the Horse Racing track. Then he appeared again at my local pub....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 499 words
(1.4 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast for a Sports Player - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sports Player Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Martin and I'm here to say a few words about Bradley. But first of all, Bradley thanks for agreeing to be my groom today. And thank you, Marta, for allowing Bradley to agree. It's traditional for the best man to let the bride's parents know what sort of man has married their daughter - although, it's really too late now to do anything about it. Bradley and I have been friends all our lives, so you can trust me to be completely honest, and let you have it straight....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 567 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Childhood Friend - Humorous Wedding Speech by a Childhood Friend Wouldn’t you know it, this is the first time Steve has ever bought me dinner and I was too nervous to eat it. Ladies and gentlemen, before I start, I've been asked to make a couple of announcements. Firstly, the hotel manager has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you are to get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation. And secondly - following the speeches, Steve's brother, Richard, will be singing us that lovely old standard, ‘I'm dancing tonight with tears in my eyes, cos the girl in my arms is a boy’....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 717 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast to a Groom Who is a Sports Fan - Humorous Wedding Speech to a Groom Who is a Sports Fan Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Rick and I'm Tim's oldest friend. I'm also a complete novice at public speaking and have this overwhelming urge to prove it to you today. I'd like to start off by saying that in marrying Rhonda this afternoon, Tim really has made the ultimate sacrifice. Not only has he given up his status as a single man, he has actually had to miss a pre-season game. And no Tim, I'm not going to cut this speech short so you can get back for the second half....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 683 words
(2 pages)
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Humorous Best Man Speech - The Groom’s Life Story - Humorous Best Man Speech - The Groom’s Life Story Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. It’s surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It’s a good job the groom didn't choose the menu, otherwise we would have had penut-butter sandwiches washed down with beer. Firstly, I have a feet messages to read out.(read telegrams etc.) As Bill Clinton said to each of his girlfriends, I wont keep you long. I’d like to begin by thanking the groom for asking me to be best man....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1248 words
(3.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast – The Groom’s Odd Behavior this Evening - Humorous Wedding Speech – The Groom’s Odd Behavior this Evening Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Ron and I am the best man. Now, you may have heard said that being a best man is like being asked to lead the troops into battle - it's a great honour, but nobody really wants to do it. Well, I only agreed on the condition that it wouldn’t interfere too greatly with my own enjoyment of the wedding day, in particular the free food and drink. But as it happens, I’ve not been able to eat a thing all day - I’ve more than made up for it on the drink front though....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 618 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast for Groom Who Plays Football and Likes to Drink - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom Who Plays Football and Likes to Drink On behalf of the bridesmaids, I’d like to thank you, Victor, for those kind words. It was a pleasure keeping you company at the altar this morning and I’m always pleased to see more of the competition getting married off – especially with all these lovely bridesmaids around. When I started thinking about doing this speech, I found it curious that all the wedding speeches I've heard, without exception, blatantly and disgracefully set out to demolish the character of the groom....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 623 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast – Why Would Anyone Want to Marry this Man? - Humorous Wedding Speech – Why Would Anyone Want to Marry this Man. Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to Charles Farrer. Looking around this packed room, it's surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It's very fortunate that Charles was not involved in developing the menu; otherwise you would have been very disappointed to have come all this way for cheese sandwiches washed down with lager....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 621 words
(1.8 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – I'd like to start by saying that what a genuine honor it is to be part of Norman's wedding. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could well have chosen. But I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had, and I look on him as the younger brother I never wanted. So here I stand with this great opportunity to reveal to all, Norman’s past misdemeanors. So I could trot out the usual stories; like when he woke up in a football field wearing a red thong and swimming goggles....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 561 words
(1.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Roast by the Best Man - Humorous Wedding Roast by the Best Man Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Ron and I’m Allen’s best man. Well, I’m the best he could find anyway. But all things considered, I feel that I’ve done my duty well so far today. I delivered a sober groom to the church on time – well, he was definitely on time. I provided the rings on cue, and as I give this speech now, I don’t think I’m going to offend or embarrass anyone. But to ensure this last part, I better keep things fairly short - and I know Allen’s itching to get to the bar....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 416 words
(1.2 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Toasts to the Newlyweds - Humorous Wedding Toasts to the Newlyweds Learning to Love To the newlyweds, When you learn to love hell, you will be in heaven. Forsake Not Forsake not an old wife, for the new is not comparable to her. A new wife is as new wine: when she is old, thou shalt drink her with pleasure. A Clean Shirt Here’s that you may always have A clean shirt A clean conscience And a dollar in our pocket. Health and Prosperity Here’s to health and prosperity, To you and all your posterity. And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity, That they may be damned for all eternity....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 206 words
(0.6 pages)
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Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother - Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related. Sallie is of course my sister, so I've known her much longer than I've known Mike. But I have been sternly warned not to delve into any of her terrible past relationships, her horrible pre- and post-teen attitude, her early problems with alcohol and the short spell she spent in a Singapore jail for dr...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 502 words
(1.4 pages)
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A Thankful Wedding Speech by the Bride - A Thankful Wedding Speech by the Bride Anyone who knows me well enough will know that it is hard to keep me quiet and today is no exception - I thought it only appropriate that the bride speaks, although I promise to keep it short. The main reason I wanted to make a speech was to personally say thank you to some very special people who have contributed to today: (To the groom) Firstly, and most importantly, you've made me so happy since we met two years ago and today is the happiest day of my life....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 424 words
(1.2 pages)
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Wedding Speech by the Sister of the Bride - Wedding Speech by the Sister of the Bride For those of you that do not already know me I'm the bride's "slightly" older sister. When she first asked me to give her away I felt two things, the first was one of extreme and enormous pride that she'd asked me, and the second Was "Oh my God" I have to do a speech. But please don't worry, this won't take too long. I would like to thank the priest for a lovely service, the priest's boss for keeping an eye out on the weather, and the beautiful bridesmaid....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 615 words
(1.8 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride Families and friends. This has been a terrific day for Bob and I and we are both thrilled you could all be here. I wanted to say a few words in response to my Dad and thank a few people for all their support. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to make these thanks – its amazing how much advice and how many books there are out there for Groom and Best Man’s speeches but there is not a lot out there to help the bride. So having failed to find any sensible advice in print, I thought I would ask around to the family and friends for some advice on what to say this evening....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1114 words
(3.2 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride Well, I guess this is slightly unusual – a brides speech - but those of you who know me will also know that the chance of me being able to keep me mouth shut while everyone else does a speech was pretty slim. So I’m sorry for adding another speech to the list but, if it’s any consolation, I’ll try to keep it short. Also, there are a few things that I want to say that no-one else will so please bear with me. If this sounds like a bad Oscar acceptance speech, I do apologise....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 589 words
(1.7 pages)
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A Straightforward Wedding Speech by the Groom - A Straightforward Wedding Speech by the Groom I've put a bit of a speech together today, but after the previous speaker put us all to sleep I'll try to make mine a bit more interesting and entertaining. Sorry; only joking. On behalf of my beautiful wife and I, we would like to thank you all for coming along, and sharing this very special day with us. And a huge thank you for the wonderful presents. I would like everybody here, especially my wife, to know how lucky and proud I am to be standing here today speaking to you as her husband....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 512 words
(1.5 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom I’d like to start by thanking Alan for his kind words and also to thank him on behalf of everyone for footing the bill for today’s festivities……… Having had a wonderful spread and knowing what we have to look forward to tonight, I now understand why he had the heating turned off all last winter. I was going to begin with ladies and gentlemen but on looking around I'm glad I didn't. So here goes. Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, and those of no distinction at all…… Family, relatives, (new and old), in-laws and outlaws, friends, friends of friends, and freeloaders Welcome to our wedding reception....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 934 words
(2.7 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom I was really, really nervous about standing up here and speaking. I did prepare a few lines for today and having snorted them I now feel absolutely fine. I did have a great speech worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead. I'd like to start by thanking you all on behalf of my wife and I being here with us today, especially those who have travelled some distance to be here. We would also like to thank you all very much for your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful presents....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 940 words
(2.7 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Well , what can I say, Thankyou for those kind words Alan and I hope $20 was enough. I recently read somewhere that a survey had been conducted of things that people fear most, and top of the list above things like spiders and heights, was the fear of standing up and making a speech in public. I'm no different, suffice to say that this isn't the first time today I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. MANY PEOPLE Many people thought this day would never come....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 756 words
(2.2 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom On behalf of my wife and I, I would like to start by thanking Leon for his kind words……….easily the best $10 I ever spent……….and I’d like to thank him on behalf of everyone here today for providing the wedding feast. I would also like to thank Leon and Mindy for welcoming me into their family and their kindness and friendship since I first met them, though obviously they didn’t know me at the time else they might have locked their daughter up to keep her safe from me....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 798 words
(2.3 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Before I start I have to ask... Do you like my outfit?... you see, I asked the tailor for Versace... but he thought I said "Liberace". Ladies, Gentlemen, Friends, Relatives and any stray pedestrians who may have wandered in. On behalf of my wife and I... or as I prefer to call her "my most recent ex-girlfriend", welcome to our wedding. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day. Its great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 930 words
(2.7 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride Hello everyone. I guess this is slightly unusual - the Bride doing a speech - but as you all know, the chances of me being able to stay quiet whilst everyone else does a speech were pretty slim. A good speech, they say, should be like a mini-skirt - short enough to be interesting, yet long enough to cover the essentials. So here goes........ Thank you all for coming to share the day with us. Many of you have had to take time off work and/or travelled a fair distance to be with us today - we really do appreciate the sacrifices that have been made for us....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 717 words
(2 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride We did it!. I can’t believe we’re here already!. At first it felt like it couldn’t take any longer and the last few weeks just flew. It’s overwhelming, I’m in awe. Wow, I’m Mrs. Hollingsworth. I can’t believe it. Yeah, I can here my co-workers snickering in the back there, I can only imagine the stories I’ll be returning to. First I’d like to clear up any confusion Jim, is Jamie to me. Now that’s out of the way, Jamie and I have traveled a long road together already and I’m looking forward to our continued journey as husband and wife....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 469 words
(1.3 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom I’ll have to keep this speech short because of my shins . . . Nicola has threatened to kick them I go on too long. The humor here is that you think I’m joking. I’d like to start by thanking you all on behalf of my wife and I, for sharing our special day. Thank you all for your kind wishes, cards and presents. I can’t wait to see how many stick on shower radios we get, and exactly how you wrap a wheelbarrow. Nicola and I have been worrying about this day for weeks and it means a great deal to us that you managed to make it....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 639 words
(1.8 pages)
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Father of the Bride Wedding Speech - Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Welcome, everyone. I believe, that as father of the bride, it is my dubious privilege to make the first speech, so, here's one I prepared earlier. I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome, on this very happy occasion all relatives and friends of both families. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank especially my wife for not only being tolerant but more importantly an outstanding mother and the guiding influence in the upbringing of our daughter, culminating in today's celebrations....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 744 words
(2.1 pages)
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Thoughtful Wedding Speech by the Groom - Thoughtful Wedding Speech by the Groom Ladies and gentlemen: I would like to thank the previous speaker for those sincere words and to the bride's parents for the love that they have both shown me, not only in preparation for today, but from the first moment that we met some two and a half years ago. I dont know who was more surprised that first night when my future wife brought me home without warning, when they were sitting there all ready for bed in their satin bath robes and her dad in his Snoopy slippers....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1782 words
(5.1 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride I wouldn't want anyone to think that I'm trying to have the last word here but I thought it only appropriate that the bride speaks and those of you who know me well enough will agree that it's usually hard to keep me quite. Well today is no exception, so here we go. I feel privileged to be sharing our day with most of the friends and family who have been important to us during our lives. Many of you have travelled from afar:- South Africa, Botswana and even the UK, and some of you have had 0to take time off work to be here....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 737 words
(2.1 pages)
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Touching Wedding Speech by the Bride - Touching Wedding Speech by the Bride It is not traditional for the bride to speak but I thought it only right that I start married life as I mean to go on - by having the last word. I would like to take this chance to thank everyone for taking the time to share this magical day with us. Today wouldn’t have been as special as it is without you - our family and friends. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves and that the open bar kept you entertained while we were having our photos taken. Please remember to take lots of photos and sign the guest book – please include any advice you have on married life....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 908 words
(2.6 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride You may well be wondering what the Bride is doing making a speech. Well, those of you who know me well, know that I always have talked too much and usually find a way to get my two cents worth in so it probably is no surprise. I also wanted to say thank you to those deserving in my own words. When I met Ray, I was totally off men and relationships, so it is a more than a little surprising to find myself standing here just under two years later. I have my sister to thank for this remarkable conversion, as she was the Cilla Black wannabe who got us together – with all the subtlety of Blind Date I might add....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1225 words
(3.5 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. This is the very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. Today, so far has been a day beyond my wildest dreams. They say you don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without which is very true with Karen. I thought I had prepared myself quite well for today but nothing could have prepared me enough for when I saw Karen walk down the aisle....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1304 words
(3.7 pages)
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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom I would like to start my speech today by thanking Richard for his kind words. I am really proud to have become Isia’s husband; ever since the day we met I have been treated as one of the family and this has made our Journey to this day that much smoother. Thank you both for your blessing I promise that I will make you proud and live up to the high expectations I am sure you have. Thank you for everything you have both done in making this day so special if it wasn’t for you I am sure I would still be saving....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1373 words
(3.9 pages)
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