A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, observe the worms closely," he said, putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the teacher asked.
One of the students raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
Quotes To Go With Your Beer
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
- William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
- Anonymous
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
- G.K. Chesterton
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
- Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- Anonymous
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- W.C. Fields
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
- Anonymous
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
- His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomaches.
- David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Anonymous
...
... middle of paper ...
... in beer.
- Dave Barry
My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.
- Anonymous
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart
Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
- Anonymous
If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
- Anonymous
Draft beer, not people!
- Anonymous
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
- David Geary
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
- David Moulton
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
- Edward Abbey
Put it back in the horse!
- H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.
The Beer Song
(Sung to the tune of "Do Ray Me")
Do--the stuff that buys me beer
Ray--the guy who sells me beer
Me--the guy who drinks the beer
Far--a long way to get beer
So--I'll have another beer
La--I'll have another beer
Tea--No, thanks I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to...(looks into empty glass)
D'OH!!!
“Bernie Madoff began investing in penny stocks in 1960, and due to his impressive work ethic, received several big breaks. The first of which was his father in-law loaning him $50,000 to invest, and soon after, Carl Shapiro, a man who made his fortune in women’s clothing gave Madoff $100,000 to invest on his behalf” (Collins 2011). With this kick-start, Bernie quickly began making a name for him, especially as he promised clients a guaranteed 20% annual return on investment. This, coupled with his firm’s adoption of the latest technology made them a tour-de-force in the investment world. But what makes his eventual downfall more interesting is that he was not just a crook, Madoff did manage a successful, and legitimate brokerage firm. To some extent, the credibility he earned from these legitimate busines...
Van Wormer, Katherine S., and Bartollas, Clemens. Women and the Criminal Justice System. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2000.
There’s no real reason as to why Madoff planned to do this scheme, but it seems that he did it, simply because he was in a league of his own and he knew it, which is why it’s possible he went South. The only reason he came forward was because he failed to follow one of the first rules of a Ponzi scheme, he had too many investors in one year and on top of that, he had the global market crisis in 2008, which had opened up the skeletons in his closet. He later began telling his two sons of what he had been doing the last decades, and it wasn’t until Andrew Madoff had told FBI authorities, that his father, Bernie Madoff would be arrested the next day. It wasn’t until 2009 that Madoff pleaded guilty to securities fraud, investment adviser fraud, mail fraud, wire fraud, perjury, money laundering and etc. His assets were then sold in order to try and repay all the investors; evidently it wasn’t enough to repay $65million. He was then sentenced to the maximum sentence of 150years in prison. One law that was put in to place was that the SEC now requires all independent public accountants to double check an investment advisor’s numbers. In addition, all investment advisors are subject to surprise exam and custody controls. Also, in corporation with the Dodd Frank Act, whistleblowers can now receive up to 30percent of what the SEC recovers in fines. This will
Imagine, a little boy sitting at home alone, hungry and scared because he doesn’t know where his parents are. Millions of children live this scenario every day because they have parents who abuse alcohol. Alcohol abuse is an addiction that affects everyone in the drinker’s life. Many examples of this are shown in The Glass Castle, Jeanette Walls and her siblings are heavily impacted by their father’s drinking habit and are constantly forced to take care of themselves. Having a parent with a harmful history of alcohol abuse increases the risk of child maltreatment greatly, alcohol use disorder creates many problems especially when children are involved so government should step in and remove children from that environment.
The Bernie Madoff Ponzi Scheme is a well-known case and is known as one of the biggest Ponzi scheme’s. In summary the scheme occurred for many reasons that I will some up into 3 points; A lack in competency by regulatory agencies, a lack of regulation, and finally a breach in ethics by Bernie Madoff himself. To explain further, the regulatory agencies like the lawyers and SEC are supposed to prevent schemes such as this one from happening but because they lacked the skills to correctly assess the situation, interpreting the number of tips they had received regarding scheme that had been filed, and to act on those in an efficient manner. One of the tips was made by Harry Markopolos in 2000, of who correctly predicted that Madoff was guilty of fraud. Even after this tip from Markopolos, Madoff was not arrested until 2009. Many family members were also a part of the fraud along with some non-family members such as Frank DiPascali and a team known as the 17th floor team, who helped Madoff carry out his fraud. The idea behind Madoff’s fraud was that he would produce false statements of their investments and when people wanted to pull out their investments, the money wasn’t actually there, which rightfully rose more than a few eyebrows and ultimately led to his arrest.
Bernard Madoff had full control of the organizational leadership of Bernard Madoff Investments Securities LLC. Madoff used charisma to convince his friends, members of elite groups, and his employees to believe in him. He tricked his clients into believing that they were investing in something special. He would often turn potential investors down, which helped Bernard in targeting the investors with more money to invest. Bernard Madoff created a system which promised high returns in the short term and was nothing but the Ponzi scheme. The system’s idea relied on funds from the new investors to pay misrepresented and extremely high returns to existing investors. He was doing this for years; convincing wealthy individuals and charities to invest billions of dollars into his hedge fund. And they did so because of the extremely high returns, which were promised by Madoff’s firm. If anyone would have looked deeply into the structure of his firm, it would have definitely shown that something is wrong. This is because nobody can make such big money in the market, especially if no one else could at the time. How could one person, Madoff, hold all of his clients’ assets, price them, and manage them? It is clearly a conflict of interest. His company was showing high profits year after year; despite most of the companies in the market having losses. In fact, Bernard Madoff’s case is absolutely stunning when you consider the range and number of investors who got caught up in it.
Bernie Madoff is one of the greatest conman in history. The Bernie Madoff scandal takes the gold as one of the top ponzi scheme in America. Madoff started the Wall Street firm, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, in 1960. Starting off as a penny stock trader with five thousand dollars, earned from his workings as a lifeguard and sprinkler installer, his firm began to grow with the support of his father-in-law, Saul Alpern, who helped by referred a group of close friends and family. Originally, his firm made markets by the National Quotations Bureau’s Pink Sheets. However, in order to compete with the bigger firms that were trading on the New York Stock Exchange floor, his firm started to use very intelligent computer software that help distributed their quotes in second’s rater then minutes. This software later became the NASDAQ that we know today. In December of 2008 Bernard Madoff confessed that he had embezzling billions of dollars from investors. It is estimated to have lasted nearly two decades, and stolen approximately $64.8 billion. On December 11, 2008 he was arreste...
Likewise, humans function on circadian rhythms like many animals. “Our bodies are verified to have a regulatory mechanism to adjust the circadian rhythm” (Guo 2013). They perform daily activities like work during the day and rest/sleep at night. But there are some people who perform oppositely. They tend to sleep/rest during the day and work at night. These people tend to have some sleeping disorders due to their circadian rhythms being shifted. Until they readjust circadian rhythms they will continue to have sleep problems and impaired performance while being awake.
Gorski (1996, p.98) stands by his belief in the disease theory of alcoholism. Although some drinkers do not have the disease of alcoholism, more severe drinkers do and are seen as suffering from a biological disease and need to be treated as such. In the late 1950’s and 60’s research projects at Yale and Rutgers concluded that alcoholism is a disease. As a result of the...
The concept of social justice means finding justice for all genders and races that have been mistreated whether it is physical, mentally, or verbally by others. Social justice is stopping inequality within society and helping others that fall from injustice towards society. With social justice provided, it helps make the world a just, sustainable, fair place. The most effective method for a positive change is taking time and doing activities with each other to understand individual’s belief, and their identity. In addition, respecting and accepting the way an individual identify their selves can create a positive change.
Bernie Madoff, “a former American stock broker, investment advisor, non-executive chairman of the NASDAQ stock market, and the admitted operator of what has been described as the largest Ponzi scheme in the history of the world”. (Bernard Madoff, 2011, para. 1) Bernie was able to convince investors to give him large sums of money with the promise that they would received between eight percent to twelve percent return a year. Bernie ran a pyramid scheme where Bernie kept the large sums of money for himself, and then he used the new investors funds to pay off the o...
Bernie Madoff, along with his wife, founded Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities, LLC. The company “attracted investors through word-of-mouth and amassed an impressive client list” (Bernard Maddoff Biography, 2014, p. 1). The company was well-known for its 10% or more reliable returns (Bernard Madoff Biography, 2...
Alcoholism is a disease in which the drinking of alcohol becomes uncontrollable. Compulsion and craving of alcohol rules the life of the alcoholic. Many of us drink alcohol to socialize which is not alcoholism. An alcoholic is a frequent habitual user. Alcohol, a central nervous system depressant, dulls the senses especially vision and hearing. Signs of alcoholism are tremors, delirium, inability to concentrate and many others. “According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, more than 13 million Americans abuse alcohol”(Mayo Clinic Health Information 1). There are many causes leading an individual to alcoholism. Alcohol damaging effects are physically, psychologically, and socially devastating.
“When I was 13, my dad started drinking more and more. Every day he would come home from work and have beer, lots of it. I didn’t think much of it at first, but then he started getting more angry and violent. He would shout at my mom and me. It was like my father had gone and been replaced with another guy” says an anonymous kid who lives with an alcoholic parent in “How my dad’s drinking problem almost destroyed my family”. The kid depicts that he is so confused, angry and upset especially when his father got fired for going to work drunk. This is one of many children’s voices who suffers having an alcoholic in their family. Most of them are depressed because alcohol has destroyed their family. This is an addiction that does
Many people have never heard of one of the most dangerous places in the world, and it is not on land. The Dark Web, also considered the Deep Web, is a hidden part of the internet which is undetected by search engines like Google, Yahoo, Bing, Etc. The dark web not accessible without special browsers. The Dark web is estimated to be 4,000–5,000 times larger than the web that everybody knows about. (Finklea 2015) Although the Dark Web is good for being anonymous, the dark web is being used by too many people for illegal issues. These include: drugs, guns, murders, hitmen, and a numerous amount of other issues. Some people who use the Dark Web believe is it good because it keeps you anonymous. However, a person has to be smart about