Click here for more Wedding Toasts

Humorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman

No Works Cited
Length: 651 words (1.9 double-spaced pages)
Rating: Orange      
Open Document

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Humorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – for those of you who don’t know me I’m Floyd, Edward’s best man. Of course, the only problem with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it, but if anyone wants to start a drinking competition later, then come talk to me.

Edward has been a great friend to me since we met. And, over that time, he's always been there for me. I remember especially him being there when I had my first car crash… oh, that's right, Edward was driving!


Honestly Edward, I’m not really up here to embarrass you. You did a fine job of that yourself during your bachelor’s party (stag night). In fact, we were a little concerned when you made your cross-dressing tendencies public, that Nancy might have had some competition today. But given the formal nature of the occasion, I am pleased to see, Edward, that you've decided to copy my outfit, rather than hers.

Edward has gone through many evolutionary changes to end up the man he is today. In order to understand exactly what went wrong, let’s examine Edward’s career.

As many of you know, Edward has been climbing the ladder in sales in recent years. This comes as no surprise since he has always been able to talk his way out of anything. You know, his parents still believe that it wasn't him who flooded the kitchen. Edward's talent for being able to spin any di...

... middle of paper ...

... the surface, Edward was still a simple Somerset boy at heart. ‘She’s different to us’ he informed me. ‘What do you mean?’ I enquired. ‘Well, put it this way,’ Edward replied, ‘she gets out of the bath to have a pee.’

None the less, they hit it off. And we’ve seen both of them grow over the six years of their relationship. I think their marriage is going to be a wonderful partnership – and Edward will be the silent one.

Truthfully, I can’t think of two other people that are better suited to spending the rest of their lives together!

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure, not to mention relief, to ask you all to raise a toast to the newly weds.

Congratulations to the bride and groom.

Click the button above to view the complete essay, speech, term paper, or research paper

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

This essay is 100% guaranteed.

Title Length Color Rating  
Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Before I start I have to ask... Do you like my outfit?... you see, I asked the tailor for Versace... but he thought I said "Liberace". Ladies, Gentlemen, Friends, Relatives and any stray pedestrians who may have wandered in. On behalf of my wife and I... or as I prefer to call her "my most recent ex-girlfriend", welcome to our wedding. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day. Its great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 930 words
(2.7 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Bride I wouldn't want anyone to think that I'm trying to have the last word here but I thought it only appropriate that the bride speaks and those of you who know me well enough will agree that it's usually hard to keep me quite. Well today is no exception, so here we go. I feel privileged to be sharing our day with most of the friends and family who have been important to us during our lives. Many of you have travelled from afar:- South Africa, Botswana and even the UK, and some of you have had 0to take time off work to be here....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 737 words
(2.1 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]
Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom - Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. This is the very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. Today, so far has been a day beyond my wildest dreams. They say you don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without which is very true with Karen. I thought I had prepared myself quite well for today but nothing could have prepared me enough for when I saw Karen walk down the aisle....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1304 words
(3.7 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Best Man Wedding Speech - Best Man Wedding Speech This is the first time Kevin's ever brought me dinner and I?m too nervous to eat it. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kevin's younger brother and my full name is Bobby What are you drinking, so if you see me at the bar later don't hesitate to call me by my full name. Unfortunately every silver lining does have A cloud, and that is that you've all got to listen to me for the next 5 minutes. I'd just like to thank Kevin on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words I think you will all agree that they have done a fantastic job today and look absolutely beautiful....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1339 words
(3.8 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion. You know, while I was watching my son and future daughter-in-law suffer through the painful process of planning their wedding, I asked myself, “What would it be like if men were responsible for organizing weddings?” I’m guessing that my son might rename the "Rehearsal Dinner" to the "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger". The invitations would not read “Gracious dinning from 7 to 10” but rather, “Raucous Drinking from 7 until the cops show up.” Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops – with more skin showing tha...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 473 words
(1.4 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom in Sales - Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom in Sales Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Today, I'd like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to a man who personifies intelligence, ambition, tact, generosity, and integrity. But it is John’s wedding so it's only fair that I talk about him as well. Laughter Now, I only met John a few years ago at university, meaning that I’ve had to rely on him perhaps more than I would have liked to get the details of his past. But apparently, the young John Cervoni was an exceptionally gifted child....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 645 words
(1.8 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the groom's father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didn't want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. It's the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesn't really know what he's expected to say and yet his speech is supposed to be humorous - but it might not be....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 985 words
(2.8 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman – It’s my job to reply to the toast to the bridesmaids and in doing so, say a couple of nice things about George. You know, tell you about some of his good points. The problem is he doesn’t have any good points. Well, except for being naturally gifted at sports. We do, after all, come from the same gene pull. So, on behalf of the bridesmaid, Claire, I would like to start by thanking George for his kind words. I am sure you will all agree that she looks wonderful today, as always....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 1018 words
(2.9 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of the Groom Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Bill, Michael's brother. Michael didn't choose me to be in the wedding party in the traditional way. Actually, I drew straws with our other brother Sean. (pause) But just because I'm up here speaking don't for one minute think I was the winner. Laughter I think all went well this morning getting Michael ready for his big day. The condemned man ate a hearty breakfast, but alas I was unable to comply with his last request as a single man due to objections from the S.P.C.A...........Bloody do-gooders....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 730 words
(2.1 pages)
Good Essays [preview]
Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom - Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I must thank Donald for his kind words. I must also thank all of you for coming today - I know how hard it is to get a day release. As Donald’s lighter brother – sorry, I meant little brother, which is simply a reference to the fact that he is older than I am, and nothing else – I would also like to welcome Liz into the family. I think you’ll find the Endeans to be a warm and open family - but never play cards with any of us....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches] 811 words
(2.3 pages)
Good Essays [preview]