If you are getting married, Catholic or not, you need to read Marriage is For Keeps. Each chapter lays out a different topic about how to focus your marriage on the three of you husband, wife and God in the center. Each section contains thought provoking questions for you and your mate and lets you ponder how you are going to grow as a person in your marriage. There are tough spots in this book. A must read, whether you are about to be married or already married and wanting to find that something missing. Especially interesting and tough is the chapter on the roles in the marriage. Kippley presents the notion of wives deferring to their husbands very thoughtfully, but also notes that it is counter cultural in the US of A. He remarks that men need to be worthy of the spiritual leadership of their family if they are truly going to lead.
How often have you heard "when the children come, the marriage ends" New parents are routinely warned how once a baby enters the picture nothing will ever be the same. The budding parents are unnerved because the naysayers are seasoned parents who know what they are talking about. These veterans prophesize doom and gloom in with the baby, and out with fun. Gone will be sleep, leisure-pastimes, nights out, friends, laziness, sex and then ultimately the marriage dissolves. We hold this belief that children are detrimental to marriage because to give to a child takes us away from devoting time to keeping up our image. We are supposed to look like vibrant, vital, beautiful people. Achieving the image is hard work, and requires substantial time to beauty maintenance, clothes shopping, exercising, and socializing. When we are out doing such activities, we receive admiration and applause from peers.
Raising children offers no such external rewards. There are no medals, paychecks, or fame attached to the role of childcare giver. And in our present society, that renders this position insignificant. When there is no value in nurturing, there can be no value in being a child. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking the child does not know this. Children know they are looked upon as troublesome and annoying. They see their parents giving their time to what they value; jobs, social events, hobbies, and other external means in which they get validated. Instead of nuisances, children, in fact, should be regarded as a celebration of the marriage.
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
The sheer existence of a child affects the parent’s development as well as their unique personalities and their individual needs (Berger,2014). Adults who do not have children are often unaware of the sacrifices and life- long commitment that it takes to be a parent and they tend to underestimate how difficult parenting is until they themselves become a parent (Berger, 2014). Parenting is a difficult, stressful, and constantly evolving process that parents learn through trial and error and just when they believe that they have caught on the child develops to the next stage and the learning curve continues. Now days it’s not unusual for adults to be caring for their children, grandchildren and their parents at the same time, which adds to the stress and financial burden of the family but provides the family with the much-needed hard earned generativity (Berger,2014). The text explained a scenario that makes parenting very difficult because the developing adults primary focus in life is intimacy from their significant other rather than generativity. In this scenario, the adult had not fully fulfilled their need for intimacy from stage six and their need for intimacy must take a back seat for the child’s care, which causes many relationship issues (Berger,2014). This is also a problem for
If you are about to get married, then you are in a great place and have a wonderful opportunity to discuss the most important thing you could. Think about discussing these things with the person you are about to enter into a covenant. Married or not, this could be one of the most important conversations you will ever have. Every marriage should have an agreed foundation. So many marriages are failing because of lack of this exe...
Marriage goes through a process to achieve this ideal unit. This is the time when the glow of the marriage is dimmed and becomes more mature, less of a fantasy. This turns into a settling down and starting roots phase. With these roots and maturity comes a family, children, and a whole bundle of new experiences and challenges. A once calm steady relationship is now about to take a rocket to the moon with these new responsibilities, children. Parenting demands and responsibilities take over many aspects of your marriage life. Jobs become more stressful, finances are crucial, and the learning process to sacrifice, for not only husband, or wife, but children as well. Essentially, children consume the lives of the parents as the children place full dependence on them. With children, hardly any time is available for the couple to enjoy time alone much less have the opportunity to be alone. Parenting is a difficult part in any marriage. Most often each of the parents will have a different view point of how their kid should be raised. These differences arouse conflict, in the end, having differences is all a part of marriage. If the couple does not continue to remind each other of teamwork and their love for each other, the relationship is at high stakes for a steep downfall. Many of the marriages I have seen with this downfall
“If a woman feels disappointed and trapped in her mother role, it is bound to affect her marriage in any number of ways.” I agree with this statement because having children prohibits you from doing certain things on the daily basis. Unless of course you have staff on hand 24 hours a day. I would be able to get up and go whenever it is needed. I would also be able to focus on the house or certain areas of my life. I would be able to do more things that I enjoy. “Often when the stork flies in, sexuality flies out.” This statement is true in my mind. When having children it is difficult to even feel sexy. People dress down to feel more comfortable chasing around the little ones. I put on tennis shoes instead of the cute wedge heels collecting dust in the
There are some grounds to assume that a cognitive dissonance is involved in feeling that children are more a satisfaction than a nuisance. Why do people bother with parenting? It is time consuming, exhausting, strains otherwise pleasurable and tranquil relationships to their limits. Still, humanity keeps at it: breeding.
Marriage matters. If marriage did not matter, would it even be considered when growing up? The common child at some point thinks about getting married and having children. Our society has gone through monumental shifts throughout its history. A theme that has not changed however, marriage, has survived through it all due to its importance. Our children and our health are two of the most important aspects of life. Marriage will help in both of those categories. Children have better relationships with their parents because of marriage. Watching their parents, they grow up having better relationships themselves. Increased success in school has been noted. Families are more financially stable, leading to a better environment for a child. And of course, we need our health to maintain anything, and that too is affected by marriage. Marriage is recognized everywhere in the world. It has been around for centuries and is a cornerstone to the foundation of modern day society.
This type of expectation is very harmful because it is impossible for the other person to do what you want them to do. It sets the other person up for failure in the relationship and destroys intimacy. Media today feeds this problem in marriages. Couples see movies, shows, and advertising that portrays what a “great marriage” looks like, or what a “perfect spouse” looks like. These ideas enter the relationship and cause discontentment because the marriage or spouse does not line up with the unrealistic views displayed in the media. Couples today have such high expectations of each other that it makes it almost impossible to enjoy the blessing of an open, safe, and loving marriage. Until these expectations are brought to light and put into perspective, they will continue to be a major factor in
Marriage is a human reality founded on mutual consent and reciprocal love. Its very nature is prepared towards the interests of the partners as well as for the birth and rearing of children. The purpose of marriage is the increase of the people of God and mutual help for the partners in loyalty and love. As a sacrament, marriage reflects the covenant between Christ and His Church and is the efficacious sign of this New Covenant. It is symbolized in marriage by the reciprocal and indissoluble commitment of the spouses. Sacramental marriage is more than an example of the New Covenant. It is also a means of accomplishing it. Like the Eucharist, marriage is ordered to the building up of the Body of Christ. The place of the Eucharist in a marriage relationship is made clear when marriage and the family are considered as the basic Christian community or a "little Church."
It takes an immense amount of courage and strength to raise a child, and that is something that must be taught and earned.
When we think of marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is having a lasting relationship. Marriage is a commitment of two people to one another and to each other?s family, bonded by holy matrimony. When a couple plans to marry, they think of raising a family together, dedicating their life to each other. That?s the circle of life--our natural instinct to live and produce children and have those children demonstrate your own good morals. I have never been married; but I don?t understand why when two people get married and vow to be together for richer and poorer, better or worse, decide to just forget about that commitment. A marriage should be the most important decision a person makes in his or her life.
Love conquers everything. Or at least, that’s what Romeo and Juliet thought. But marriage and love can be complicated, and some argue that marrying someone who shares your religious beliefs can make things much easier. Is having the same religious and spiritual beliefs part of criteria many people use when seeking a marriage partner? It is strongly felt that the person they are going to marry should have the same traditions and customs, and intensity of belief as they themselves do. For them, it is an imperative part of marriage. A correlation exists between religious shared beliefs in marriage and marital satisfaction, although the nature of the relationship is not certain. History says that religion starts wars. If that is true, what will it do to a dual-religion marriage? This paper will discuss people’s views on why it is actually a major criterion to have a partner that has the same religious beliefs.
In conclusion, in reaching the best for their children, parents prefer a stable economic and living situation, so they invest their youths in bringing that to be; however, the pleasures of parenting are so rich and ample that they can experienced at an earlier age in life. Young parents can have the greatest opportunity to bring up their children with flying colors and an extra care.
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At no point in life can you be perfect at anything, but you can prepare yourself for the adventures of life. One of life’s biggest challenges is marriage. Marriage requires preparation emotionally and spiritually. Marriage is considered to be one of the hardest aspects of life to control. Merging two different customary lifestyles into one can be difficult especially since the feelings of both are involved. I have learned both the numerous ways to destroy and build a successful marriage. Marriage is the union of man and woman becoming as one flesh according to God’s law and the law of the land.